My Sweetest Corn and My Dearest Kuon :: Hiatus
by Fae 206
Summary: Devoted husband and award winning actor, Kuon Hizuri, would do anything for his wife Kyoko. However when Kyoko is diagnosed with an incurable illness, the family is tested to the breaking point both physically and psychologically. Still, can such a tragic series of events be planned and why would one do that? Answers lie in the past to discover the future.-Some Dark Angst Included-
1. Chapter 1 - What's Important

**Author Note:**

Hi. So, you probably can tell that this follows the same storylines as one of my other fics. I am still going to keep that particular fic up, but I thought that since there is so much more complexity to this fic that I'd try a fourth, you read that right _fourth_ time to write it the way I envision it.

Thank you for reading, Always Yours , and I hope you enjoy it.

 **Future set with info up until the Momji arc.**

 **Always Yours**

 **Chapter One – What's Important**

A lot could change within seven years. Seven years was just enough time for Ren Tsuruga to become Kuon Hizuri. Four years was enough for Kuon Hizuri to get engaged, get married, have a son with the woman he adored, and go to America to start acting. Two years was enough time for Kuon to get the right jobs in America and tonight he had earned something he had honestly only dreamed about. An Academy Award for Best Actor.

It felt strange as he had held it in his hand. It had felt even stranger when he had approached the stage and thanked his parents, his friends and former manager, and of course his wife. Everything was coming together with the Hizuris and Kuon hated to say that finally _finally_ Kyoko was getting acting jobs too. She was playing a med student on one of the hottest NBC sitcoms and they had just finished with filming the first season. That gave the two of them time to relax with their little boy.

"You have no idea what these past years have meant to me," Kuon said gratefully as he kissed his twenty-three year old wife. Kyoko returned the kiss and smiled as she let her head rest on his strong shoulder.

"You have no idea what your speech meant to me, Kuon," she smiled. "You're welcome for those past two years. I've always known it's your dream to act in America and I couldn't let you go alone." Kuon looked at her as she started to fall asleep. He felt bad for how mercilessly he had dragged her to the award ceremony and then made appearances at two of the after parties.

It felt like his wife had been sick for a full month now and he was scared that instead of getting better, she was getting worse. "Princess," he asked as she coughed and closed her eyes. "Hey," he said as he moved her so she could rest more comfortably against him. "Please let me come with you to the next doctor's visit?" he asked as she shook her head. "Please, Kyoko?" he asked as he touched her forehead.

She was burning up. How long had she been like this? How long had he failed to notice how sick she was? "We can go to the hospi-" he whispered to her as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Don't you dare," she said. "I'm just sleepy. There was a lot of alcohol," she argued.

"Which you didn't drink much of at all," Kuon said as he felt relief that they were getting to his parents' residence. "Let's just get Kou and I'll drive us home?" he asked as she smiled, snuggling next to him.

"That sounds good, he'll be excited to see Daddy's award," she said to him as he smiled thoughtfully. He let his hands hold her towards his body and his fingers slipped through her hair trying to comfort her.

"We're almost home," Kuon said feeling his heart break watching her. She would always try and hide her pain, she had been doing that since he had known her and she had hurt her ankle. He was scared that if something did happen to her, something unexpected, that she wouldn't tell him. "Don't worry, the emperor of the night won't be making an appearance tonight."

"He can if you want," Kyoko said before the driver stopped and Kuon got out, thanking him as always.

Kuon tucked his head back in as he picked up Kyoko's purse and the award statue. "You want me to give you the princess carry?" he asked as she tried to wake herself up. Kuon knelt down upon the seat and reached over to his wife's forehead, his eyes showing all of the concern he held for her. "Kyoko?" he asked nervously. "If you're not feeling alright, princess, let me know? I don't mind taking you to the hospital, my parents don't mind keeping Kou overnight. He's most likely asleep."

"Don't you dare," Kyoko said before taking his hand and letting him help her out the car. "I'm just tired. My husband won an award tonight. My husband won _the_ award tonight, I'm just tired," she yawned. Kuon sighed as he looked at her and kissed the top of her head.

"I just wish that one day the world will see how much more amazing my wife is," he told her before pulling her close. Kyoko laughed before reaching for his cheek.

"I know my husband just told the entire audience how amazing and wonderful he thinks I am, but did I tell him how proud I am of him and of being his wife. How kind he is, how he's my sweet Corn, how much I respect him and his acting skills, and how much I love him?" she asked before kissing him.

Kuon lifted her to really make the kiss special, he put her down and let his fingers roam her hair again.

"I am _so_ lucky to have you," he said as he pulled her close to his chest. "Come on, let's go get Kou."

Kyoko grinned and walked with him to the front door. However, as she held onto the hand of the man she loved, she felt her body weaken. She felt her heel slip and she saw she was about to land on the grass and not the hard ground. She froze when she felt that her body didn't hit anything at all and she looked up into Kuon's terrified and protective green eyes.

"Kyoko?" he asked as she felt like she was losing consciousness, only concentrating on those green eyes that made her feel so loved. At least she was with Kuon.

….

….

"Have the doctors told you anything?" Kuu asked as Kuon stood just outside the waiting room trying to get the information on his wife's health and if he needed to get her anything or sign any documents. "Don't worry we have the…"

Kuon looked away, "Dad, thanks, but the last thing on my mind is material gain," he said sadly. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone, I pushed her too hard. I should have realized that she was this sick," he paced as he tried to take in the nature around him. Hopefully the plants and flowers would help calm his nerves at least a little. "Is Kou okay? You two don't mind him…"

"He's fine," Kuu said as Kuon nodded with a sigh of relief. "He's asleep in his guest room. Julie and I have made sure he's okay, he doesn't know any of this. Are you sure you don't want me down there?"

Kuon looked up at the stars in the sky trying his best to keep his fear and pain to a minimum. He felt so incredibly guilty that this had happened. If he hadn't been pushing his wife to do these things with him, if he had just argued with her and taken her to the hospital. Maybe she wouldn't have collapsed.

It was his fault.

"No. I can handle all of this. I think Kyoko will be angry enough that the two of us are here, she wouldn't want you to inconvenience yourself any more than she already will think you have. I'm just waiting on the test results and the diagnosis and I'm hoping I can see her soon. I didn't think it was anything _this_ serious."

"It's not your fault," Kuu replied. "Kuon, _nobody_ thought it was this serious. That's who Kyoko is, she won't let anyone see that she's sick."

"She's my wife though, she always knows when I'm pretending to not be ill and…" Kuon tried to argue before Kuu cut him off.

"I'm sorry to say, son, that during those times I don't think anyone would give you an Oscar." Kuon felt himself laugh weakly at his dad's joke. He wasn't sure whether it was because he couldn't act or because of Kyoko's sixth sense to pick up on small details. He could still remember when she had known his body so well she had used measurements to learn that he had been Cain Heel.

"Mr. Hizuri," a doctor said as she approached Kuon. "We have the results for your wife's test back."

Kuon nodded, "Dad, I have to…"

"I know," Kuu said. "Let us know if there's anything that you need. Can I just say how proud I am of you?" he asked as Kuon smiled.

"Thanks, dad. I'll call you when I get a chance," he said as he touched his own blond hair. He hung up his phone and turned it off before turning to the doctor. "Can I see her?" he asked.

"You will be able to in a moment or two," the doctor said. "However, as her spouse, there are things that I need to discuss with you before you can see her," she said as Kuon nodded. He hated to say that he was terrified. He had always tried to be strong and hold back from admitting fear. Being in the hospital was one of the scariest things he had gone through, maybe surpassed by the proposal and marriage and the knowledge he was going to be a father and the birth of Kou.

His family was everything to him and Kyoko was such a huge part of that. He followed the doctor to an office and saw a folder full of documents, he frowned as he saw Kyoko's name on there as well as some personal details but he didn't understand the tests.

"Mr. Hizuri," the doctor said as Kuon looked up from the documents he was attempting to scan for anything he could understand. "Your wife has a rare hybrid illness," she said as he looked at her confused. What on earth was classified as rare and hybrid? Did that mean there were two diagnoses?

"I'm sorry?" Kuon asked confused, "I'm not sure what that means."

"Well," the doctor said with a deep breath, "Mr. Hizuri, your wife is sick and her illness mimics that of a cancer, but we haven't seen very much like this infection before."

"It mimics cancer?" Kuon asked confused. "So, you're saying that my wife has cancer?" he asked as his heart broke for the woman he loved. Kyoko had been through far too much to deserve this. He wanted to protect her, but how could he fight for her against an illness? He wished there was something that he could do. "Does my wife have cancer?"

"She has an undiagnosible illness so we have to treat it as the closest match we have," the doctor said as Kuon stared at her. What on earth was happening? These doctors had everything on file and even if _these_ doctors didn't have it on a physical file, the data was accessible. He stared at the doctor in disbelief. He couldn't understand what she was saying to him.

"So, this means chemotherapy?" he asked trying to wrap his mind around how sick Kyoko was, "radiation? Surgery? What is it that I can arrange for my wife to get healthy or put it in remission or…" Kuon felt himself panic. He was losing the cool, calm, and collected side of himself. These words that he was being told had stopped making sense to him. What on earth were they saying that was wrong with the woman he loved so deeply?

"There's a drug treatment," the doctor said. "There are a few hospitals around the world which can treat it. One of those is quite close by, there's also one in Chicago, New York, London, Sydney, Tokyo, Beijing."

Kuon nodded as he closed his eyes. He didn't care _where_ they went as long as Kyoko got better. They were saying that there were drugs for it but he didn't understand how they could prescribe her drugs for something that they weren't even sure about. His breath caught in his chest as he looked down and asked the only thing that mattered right now

"Can I see my wife now?" he asked hating the shakiness in his voice.

This was unbelievable. Wasn't this the type of thing that happened in movies and TV shows rather than real life? Wasn't this something that happened in medical shows after the show jumped the shark, so to speak. He stood as the doctor opened the door and took him to where Kyoko was lying weakly in the hospital bed.

"Does she know?" he asked the doctor wanting to run over and hold his wife but not wanting to either hurt or scare her.

"She knows," the doctor said as Kuon nodded and went forward to hold his wife's hand. Hopefully he could share some of his remaining strength with her.

"Hey, princess," he smiled to her as she squeezed his hand back. "The doctor just told me," he said, "How are you feeling?" he asked, "Is there anything I can get for -"

"Can we go back to Japan, Kuon?" Kyoko asked with tears in her eyes as Kuon nodded.

"Yes. Yes, we can go back. Is that what would make you happy, Kyoko?" he asked her as he pressed his face to her hand not wanting her to see how upset he was. He pressed gentle kisses to the back of her hand as he used both of his to hold it.

Kyoko nodded, "Kuon, I -"

"Then that's what we'll do," Kuon promised her. "I'll find some time to talk to Lory, hopefully he'll be able to help." He looked at her and kissed her softly. "I love you, princess," he said before staring down. He was glad that the doctor had shared the information that it was non contagious and he hated himself for asking the question when they went to the room.


	2. Chapter 2 - Mutual Happiness

**Author Note:** I actually managed to write down a list of the first ten chapters today. This is going to be going at a slower pace than My Dear Kuon, but it's because I wanted to show everything between them before it all gets twisted. Even though there wasn't a lot of attention given to the fic, I am glad that I am writing it and so am posting chapter two without a review 😊 I hope that anyone who reads this will like it.

 **Chapter Two – Mutual Happiness**

The twenty-seven-year-old actor looked at his wife as she slept peacefully despite the illness. It was so strange and upsetting to see her like this. If you were to just look at her from a distance, she looked healthy. Come a little closer and you might think she was stressed and had been dealing with a lack of sleep. From Kuon's point, whether it was his heart or his eyes which were finding the details, he could see she wasn't doing okay. He wanted to kick himself for being so blind, so stupid.

He had had a time before when he was just as much of an idiot, or really maybe two times and they had both included chicken. He looked down with a playful chortle at himself and a shake of his head. He should have been more suspicious about that rooster. He should have listened to the voice more carefully or at least figured out from the hatred of love that that rooster was Kyoko.

Who else would have come to see him to talk about his problems with a role?

He sighed as he sat holding her hand and just thinking of everything they had gone through together. Hopefully, oh god _hopefully_ , they would find a way of getting out of this together. He wouldn't be able to breathe just by himself. Hearing a gentle knock on the door, Kuon yawned and looked up at his mother.

"Hey," he said gently. "Thanks for…"

"Stop that right now, of course I'd come," Julie said as she looked over the two of them. She felt tears come to her eyes and so pulled out a handkerchief to quickly dry them. She went over to Kuon and pulled him close. "Oh sweetheart," she said as she pressed him close. "I bought you some more casual clothing too," she gestured. "You should go change. I'm sure not many people here are wearing Armani suits."

Kuon rolled his eyes, "Tom Ford with an Armani tie," he corrected her softly before putting a hand on Kyoko's shoulder as she started to wake up. "Morning, princess," he smiled to her lovingly. "Are you feeling any better?" he asked with genuine concern in his eyes. When she nodded, Kuon leaned over and kissed her gently. "I am going to go and make some calls, but my mom's here. Are you sure you want to go back to Japan?" he asked in a calm voice, his eyes looking her over to make sure there was nothing else to address before the call.

"Y-Yes, if that's alright with you," Kyoko said as she sat up. "You should get changed," she said before looking over at Julie. "Oh," she said, "Thank you for taking care of Kou last night, m-mom," she said. Despite the years she had been married to Kuon, she still had trouble with that word. The only time it made her unbelievably happy was when Kou said it but he still said mommy.

"I can try to convince people that I'm not putting on a show," Kuon rolled his eyes before finding that his mother had brought him jeans, a comfortable and long sleeved striped black and white shirt, as well as underwear and sneakers.

"I'm your mother," Julie said as she eyed Kuon waiting for him to make a comment about the clothes she had brought him. "I can touch your underwear, deal with it," she said in a teasing manner as he rolled his eyes again. "Kuon, I think the word you were looking for was a magic show."

"No, mom" Kuon said with a playful smile as he squeezed her hand, "the word I was looking for was thank you. Now, I'm going to get changed into these and then make a few calls. What's the time in Japan right now?" he asked.

"Kuon," Kyoko smiled as she looked at the alarm clock next to her. "My sweet Corn," she said, her pet name for him, "I know how much you love me and how you would do anything to me, but I think Lory will want to murder you for waking him up at one in the morning."

Kuon sighed before looking around. "Well, they don't want you to move out of the hospital just yet so I think perhaps an afternoon checkout, but there is a diner nearby so how about I get us something to eat?" he asked as he looked over Kyoko. As much as he wanted to stay in there with her, he also wanted to get her anything she might need.

"Since when did _you_ care about food?" Kyoko asked as Kuon challenged her back.

"You do know I've learned some quite skillful cooking techniques from my wife and that I actually enjoy it when I can make her meals and we can cook together," he grinned back, "but I was really just thinking about getting takeout and bringing back a hamburger with a cooked egg on top of it." He grinned happily as he just watched her, drinking her in. He never wanted to stop seeing his gorgeous wife.

Kyoko nodded, "at least get changed before you go, I wouldn't want anyone to judge you on your Zac Efron cufflinks," she said as Kuon gave her a deadpan look.

"Zac Posen," Kuon corrected her. "I also need to return the jewelry you rented," he said as he kissed the top of her head. "The hospital assured me I got it all back and I double checked too. It's a good thing you didn't…."

Kyoko's eyes widened as she thought about the white silk dress with the balloon skirt that made her feel like a princess in a Disney movie. "Is…" she began before Kuon smiled.

"Your dress is in very good condition, I am sure that Miss Wang would be happy to see you in another design of hers one day," Kuon tried to reassure her as he gestured to the garment bag hanging at the side of the room. "Now, I am going to go and get you something to eat, fair lady," he teased before going to get changed.

Kyoko looked down. "You should tell your son that he spoils me too much," she said as Julie shook her head and sat down.

"I know you've heard it too many times, but you make my son happier than I've ever seen him before. The Kuon that I let become Ren Tsuruga was lost in the dark and Ren was much too mature and professional and frankly boring to be as special to me as Kuon. You brought the two of them together, you make him so happy. My son went down some dark paths in his life, but you made him happy to be himself."

Julie looked away, "If he had never met you, I don't know if he could ever have been this happy," she smiled as Kyoko opened her arms and Julie held her close.

"Trust me," the younger actress whispered, "It's mutual."

….

….

Later that day, Kuon was enjoying the early evening with his family in his and Kyoko's own home. Kou loved chasing the cicadas and crickets that were sometimes in the garden that Kyoko had cultivated herself. Kuon often sat out here alone or with a family member himself as he soaked up the nature that his family had preserved and given time and care to.

"I think I'm going to go sleep," Kyoko said as she kissed Kuon's cheek. "I'm going to get Kou ready and put him to bed first."

"You've got it all tonight?" he asked, usually they would each spend time with Kou and make sure the little blond boy was sleeping peacefully, but tonight Kuon had to wait for the call he placed with the LME secretary to be returned. "If you need anything at all," he said as he reached for her.

"We're good," Kyoko said as she kissed his cheek. She went to see Kou and smiled as he pointed to the different leaves he had found. "Hey," she said as she kissed the top of his head. "Mommy's going to give you your bath and story tonight. Want to say goodnight to Daddy?"

"Yea" the two year old giggled before finding Kuon there already. He hugged his dad tight as Kuon kissed his forehead.

"Hey, little guy," he smiled at his son who looked scarily like both him and Kuu at the same time. "Are you ready to go to sleep?" he asked, "I love you, Kou" he said as Kou hugged him back and laughed.

"Nite nite Daddy" Kou smiled as he waved to his father before getting scooped up into his mother's protective arms. Kuon stood going back to the bench he had been sitting on and waving back at his son as his family went inside.

"So," Julie smiled as she just watched her little boy who had gone through so much to reach a place where he could be happy with being himself. "You've been able to raise a really good little boy with the woman you love, still think you don't deserve to be happy."

Kuon sighed, "I don't know, Kyoko tells me I do," he said lovingly. "I'm trying. Every day is a new set of trials, today especially bu-"

"He's right here, boss," Kuu said coming out with the house phone receiver as Kuon stood up and took the phone from his dad. He was surprised Lory hadn't tried his cellphone.

"Hey, thanks for calling me back," Kuon said as he went into the house to have a little privacy during the conversation. "Am I still allowed to blame time difference?" he said with a weak smile.

"This _is_ disappointing," Lory joked as his smile could be heard on the other end of the line. "Tsuruga Ren would have taken the blame on himself with one of those gentleman smiles of his and here I am with Hizuri Kuon blaming time difference for such a lackluster message."

Kuon sat down, his eyebrow raised, "You're upset about…" he chuckled a little, "Of course you're upset that it's a lackluster message."

"You just won the biggest acting award in the United States, Kuon, you could at least have given a big lengthy speech, it would have been fun to listen to. Thank you for my callout by the way," he grinned as Kuon closed his eyes. "Knowing you, your call wouldn't be for anything as interesting as you gloating."

"Not like that, no," Kuon said slowly. "Listen, I need some help with relocation services," he said as Lory hummed, "I would like to come back and work for LME."

He waited for a moment before hearing the sound of trumpets and his eyes widened as he held the phone to his ear. "You're not pulling my leg, are you, Kuon?" Lory asked skeptically.

Kuon felt his body get limp as he tried to maintain the calm steadiness in his tone. "Kyoko's sick. Whereas there is somewhere here for her to get a drug treatment, I know for a fact that she'd be much happier if we came back to Tokyo. I wanted to see If you could help with relocating the three of us as soon as possible," he said with a weak smile.

"Kuon, it sounds like she is really….what is going on with…I'll wait for her to tell me, shall I?" Lory asked knowing Kyoko wouldn't like to feel people were making decisions behind her back. "By the time you wake up tomorrow, you'll have different residences to decide on."

"Thanks," Kuon said with a weak smile, "I also want to know if…well maybe if I came back as an actor…if…"

"I'm glad that I'm not going to have to listen to another fifteen year old girl telling me how much Yashiro-san is terrifying them," Lory replied as Kuon rolled his eyes. He didn't know what had made him such a perfect fit for one of his now closest friends. He hadn't ever thought that if Yashiro were with someone young he would scare them, but maybe it's because he'd always had a 'walk on the wild side' type of attitude.

"Are you sure he would be okay with taking on someone in their late twenties," Kuon smiled before hearing Lory shush him. He blinked and waited for whatever happened on the other end of the line.

"Hello, this is the president. I'd like to talk with Yukihito-san"

"Yes, of course, I'll patch you through,"

Kuon closed his eyes and laughed slightly before being shushed again.

"This is the most fun I've had all day," Lory told him before they heard Yashiro answer the phone call.

"Hello, Yashiro speaking, I'm talking to you aren't I, president?" Kuon could tell that Yashiro's voice had an edge of tiredness to it. It was as if he was becoming exhausted with all of these mismatched clients.

"I've got a new client for you, well if you decide to take them on," Lory proposed as Yashiro sighed weakly.

"Could you tell me something about them before I agree?" he asked as Lory hummed.

"Very well, they whine a lot, they are very self-involved to the point of being socially blind, they are quite clingy and overly protective of their loved ones," Lory said as Kuon had to bite his tongue to stop from saying anything.

"So, you're placing me with another fourteen-year-old girl?" Yashiro asked to which Kuon couldn't help laughing.

"Well, I've been told that my acting is good, but I don't think I could ever pull off a fourteen-year-old girl," Kuon joked with a weak laugh. "So, do we have a deal to get the team back together?"

"Of course," Yashiro said as Kuon could almost see the expression he had when excited, "Now this is a client I can work with. I will gladly work with you, Kuon."

…..

…..

After finishing the call and saying goodnight to his parents, Kuon went upstairs to check on his wife. He looked her over and took a deep breath, he had to make sure not to push her too hard in the future. She was his good luck charm, someone who meant everything to him. He wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to her.

"Lory's looking for a place for the three of us in Tokyo," he said as he sat down. "To be honest, I'm excited to be going back."

"Are you going to act still?" Kyoko asked as Kuon nodded.

"I might not do as much as I'm doing here, I want to be able to make sure I'm there for you and Kou as soon as you might need me to be," he told her honestly.

Kyoko hummed, "Maybe I should act too," she said as Kuon watched her cautiously.

He didn't want to say anything. Saying yes might meant that he was giving her permission to act when she was so sick that nobody understood how sick she was, but saying no would mean she would do it without him knowing. Maybe it was best not to say a single word.


	3. Chapter 3 - Welcome Home

**Author Note:** So, since this fanfic is going to be long and complex I've decided to _attempt_ for a new chapter every day. With my other Skip Beat fics I'm planning on writing a chapter for each of them and then doing bulk updates. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and I hope that more people read it.

Thank you for your support.

 **Chapter Three – Welcome Home**

Two weeks later, the family was heading to Japan and to their new house and a new part of their lives. Kuon still felt his heart sink whenever he was reminded of Kyoko's illness, but she was trying to be strong and overcome it just like she usually would. He knew that she was excited to go back to Japan and kept telling Kou all these wonderful stories about their time together. Maybe Japan would make things better, maybe they had more information on the illness.

At least, that's what he hoped as he sat there in the private hair stylist's waiting room with Kou on his lap. Knowing that Kyoko wanted to go there one last time, Kuon had arranged for both her and Kou to get their hair done. Kou's hair was usually blond and messy, looking like a little Corn. They had only had it trimmed a little to keep up appearances and Kuon had been beside the two year old the whole time.

He had been asked numerous times whether he wanted something done himself, but he didn't need to think about himself. He had already asked Lory if he could work in Japan with the blond hair and received a positive answer. That was all he needed.

"You know, Mommy loves having her hair done," Kuon said as he cuddled Kou closer. "Mommy also loves the makeup, she feels like a princess," he kissed the two year old's cheek. Kou had been born in Japan but they had moved when he was just an infant. Hopefully he was too young for their return to make a too dramatic effect.

"Mama wuv pintess" Kou told his father with a wide grin. Kyoko would always tell Kou stories about fairies, magic, and princesses with their princes. Kuon also knew that whenever Kyoko would tell Kou about princes, she would slip in that Daddy was her prince.

Kuon paused as Kyoko came out of the stylist's office and Kuon smiled at her. "I'm getting flashbacks of a certain Dark Moon after party," he told her as he took in her transformation. As Kyoko stood there, Kuon admired the long strawberry blond hair, the gorgeous hazel eyes with the pink eye makeup and the white blouse and long pink skirt.

"Wooow" Kou said as he jumped off of his Daddy's lap and went to his mother.

"Too much?" Kyoko asked weakly. Before she had had her long black hair which she styled often. So this was a trim and a color with bangs. Every time they went here she looked absolutely gorgeous.

"I think you look spectacular," Kuon said as he looked at her and smiled weakly as she picked up Kou. "Do you like it, princess Kyoko?" he asked with his pet name for her. He felt a light turn on inside him as Kyoko nodded in response. "That's what matters," he said as he went to pay for it and picked out some of Kyoko's favorite hair products and cosmetics.

"Daddy pince?" Kou asked his mother as Kyoko nodded seeing Kuon purchase the extra items for her.

"Yes, he's a prince. He's always spoiling his family, but mommy would love him even if he was poor and didn't buy her things," she said. "Daddy should spend some money on himself."

"You think so?" Kuon asked as he looked over at his family. He teasingly ran a hand through the blond strands as if annoyed by them. "Maybe I should dye my hair brown and put in color contacts," he said as Kyoko shook her head quickly.

"No, no," she grinned to him. "Forget I said anything. I don't miss the Ren Tsuruga look that much," she said as he gave a light smirk and rolled his eyes. He returned to his family once everything was paid for.

"Are you scared of Japan recognizing you?" he asked as Kyoko took a deep inhale.

"A little," she admitted. "I think I'm more worried about people knowing I'm ill," she looked at him and smiled as she watched him. "Thank you though, Kuon, for setting everything up for our return."

Kuon nodded, "You're welcome."

….

….

As they stepped off the plane, a sleepy Kou in Kyoko's arms and Kuon wheeling the cases, Kyoko noticed all the stares and whispers about her husband coming back and his success in America. He had had about a dozen people rush up to him and ask for his autograph even before they had gone through security. "What can I say, they love you," Kyoko grinned at him.

Kuon squeezed her close, "I don't think I remember this many people looking at me the last time we came back," he said as he saw Kou yawn and curl up closer to his mother. "If he gets too heavy…" Kuon said nervously before Kyoko interrupted him.

"I'm capable of carrying him," she told the actor before pressing a light kiss to his shoulder. "They are looking at you because you just won an Academy Award and you were once the famous Ren Tsuruga that appeared in all of their favorite shows and movies," she laughed as they approached the arrival gate.

Kuon's eyes widened as he heard the cheers, applause, and calling of his name at the gate and looked down at Kou. Hopefully his own fame wouldn't ruin his son's chances. He didn't want Kou to go through the same things that he did.

"Kuon! How does it feel to be back in Japan? We heard that this time you're staying," a reporter asked and Kuon laughed. Was it really starting already?

"It feels amazing, I've really missed this country," he said before spotting the driver and bodyguard that Lory had set up for him. "My agency has set up a press conference in a couple of days. We'll answer more questions then, but yes we are back for good."

Kyoko smiled to the reporter before feeling the body guard's hands upon her as the driver had another guy take their luggage. Wow, this was…some reception.

"Congrats on the Oscar. Any details on why you're choosing to continue your careers in Japan instead of the US?" another reporter said as Kuon smiled.

"Wait until the press conference," he said with his gentleman smile.

"We'll be happy to answer any questions there," Kyoko spoke up. If she wasn't holding her son, she would have bowed to all of them. She saw the cameras both recording them and the click of pictures being taken. She just hoped her illness wouldn't be picked up on film.

As they arrived at the car which was taking them to their new house, the driver bowed to them as the bags were put into the back. "Welcome home," he said to the two of them as Kuon smiled to Kyoko.

"We're really glad to be back," he said as Kyoko noticed the car seat that the driver had put in the car and gratefully managed to put a sleeping Kou inside. She smiled as Kuon got into the front passenger side of the business car and so slid in next to Kou.

She couldn't wait to show Kou all around Tokyo. She just hoped she continued to be strong enough to do so.

….

….

When they got to the very large apartment in the five star building, Kuon had been impressed by how stylish and modern the place was. Knowing that Lory had picked it out, he was expecting elegance but he wasn't expecting something so…normal. The apartment had three bedrooms which meant there would be no problem inviting guests and one of the rooms had furniture in it already selected for Kou.

Kyoko grinned as she held Kou to her. "I'm just going to get him changed and cleaned up a little, then I'll be ready to put him down for his nap," she told her husband as Kou started to wake a little.

Kuon nodded as he looked around. So, the furniture, designer and just his style, was already set up in the different areas of the room. All they needed to do was wait for the boxes that Kuu was sending over from their old house.

Kuon could definitely imagine spending the rest of his life here, he just hoped that the rest of his life included Kyoko the whole way through. Feeling a yawn coming on, Kuon stretched and went to check out a few more of the rooms including their own master bedroom.

Opening the door, Kuon felt a shock that he later felt that he shouldn't have as he saw the president of LME sitting casually on the large bed. "So, he's back," Lory said before pouting, "and here I was picking this room to wait in in hope of witnessing some cute and passionate moment."

Kuon smiled a little and raised an eyebrow, "Were you, now?" he asked before giving a slight bow which definitely wasn't as deep as Ren's would have been. "Kyoko is helping our son at the moment, so you'll have to wait for her to join us."

Lory huffed before nodding, "Very well. At least I get to talk to you. Nobody treats LME the same since we lost our biggest star."

"Surely you must have found someone to take that spot with me gone," Kuon grinned as he came over to shake Lory's hand but was pulled into a hug. He grinned as Lory released him and then sighed dramatically.

"Kuon, your acting makes everyone else look like an amateur. None of my other stars have won an award of that nature and you won it for playing a troubled doctor dealing with very troubled patients," he said as Kuon raised an eyebrow.

"Let's say I had very good practice whilst here at working with psychology," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I think that living and working in America has changed me for the better, but I've achieved what I wanted. I'm sure I can find just as interesting roles over here and I definitely have missed Japan," he admitted. "I'm grateful you're letting me rejoin the agency."

"You could have worked without an agency, you're _that_ talented," Lory tried to remind him.

Kuon chuckled as he shook his head, "but where's the fun in doing that?" he asked with a cheeky grin. He looked over to the doorway as Kyoko stood there and then bowed deeply.

"I thought I heard you talking to somebody," she said as she went and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Hello, boss" she said before walking into his open embrace. "I've missed seeing you. We're both looking forward to rejoining the agency," she said as she watched Kuon and saw the still nervous and cautious expression that he carried.

"Small roles okay, guest spots, ones without a lot of episodes, right?" he asked Kyoko feeling himself lose his confidence as he imagined her collapsing on the set or not having enough energy to work properly. He didn't want her to get upset because she was sick with something the doctors didn't even have a name for yet.

"I'll be fine," Kyoko told him before sighing. "Anything you can offer me is appreciated," Kyoko told Lory before squeezing her anxious husband's hand. "Now, I would let you see Kou, but after that plane ride we're all pretty exhausted," she tried to explain as Lory made a gesture to show that it was okay.

"Now that I see that both of you have returned safely, I can take my leave. I'll see you in my office around noon tomorrow?" he asked them as Kuon nodded.

"You'll see the three of us then," he said. He looked at Kyoko and brought her in for a side hug. "We're really looking forward to getting to see everyone again."

Kyoko took a step forward, "Boss, don't feel that you need to set up any kind of welcome home event for us, okay?" she asked before Lory gave the answer that Kuon was expecting.

"You mean the one I already _have_ set up for tomorrow night?" he asked as Kuon laughed and kissed the top of Kyoko's head.

Leave it to Lory to celebrate their homecoming.


	4. Chapter 4 - Survival

**Author Note:** I want to thank Kris for helping me with her reviews. I know this doesn't look like a very popular fanfic but I enjoy wriding and reading it. I hope other people out there do too. I hope that the lack of hits is to do more with it being new than with people really not wanting to read it. Thanks for all of your support – Fae

 **and action**

 _A blond man stood on the streets of Los Angeles. He was standing on a stage of death, betrayal, bloodshed. Why did the blood make him feel so alive? He had been physically bullied for so long that he had snapped and boy did the power within him feel good. The fifteen year old tilted his head to the side with a toying smile. "I really can't see why you came here," he said to them with a strong laugh. "You can't stop me."_

" _Kuon," a voice called out, "I'm not asking you to stop, I'm asking for you to slow down."_

 _Was that…Rick's voice? The fifteen year old looked around before seeing blood, seeing the repercussion for his actions. He felt the darkness increase around him and then saw a light at the end of the alley. He could hear Tina's voice._

" _You murderer! A life for a life! You get what you deserve!" she screamed at him. Kuon looked around, his heart pounding as he saw a body on the ground in the distance. He felt himself drawn towards it and quickly walked over before his eyes widened as he saw the corpse of…_

 **Chapter Four – Survival**

"Kyoko!" Kuon gasped for air as he sat up in the bed. He had told her about his past before Kou was born, but she had helped him be strong and recognize the changes. She had promised that he could reach for her if he ever got tempted to feed that darkness. She didn't run from him, but now, three months into her treatment, she was getting to be so weak.

It was May now and she had been getting slowly worse and the fact that they still couldn't narrow it down, was terrifying him. He had wanted to get her off of the drugs and try to see what happened naturally until they came up with a new plan, but Kyoko had argued with him. Apparently, she needed the drugs and Kuon just wasn't sure what they were doing.

Kyoko was getting worse and not better. Maybe they did something to hold back on the pain.

Or maybe Kyoko still wasn't showing how sick she was. Shaking from the dream, Kuon looked down on his wife who had an eye open and was watching him. Kuon closed his eyes and tried to steady his breaths, but already Kyoko was seeing this wasn't a normal situation.

"Hey, my sweet Corn," Kyoko said as she sat up in the bed and wrapped her arms around the man she loved so much. "Are you alright? Was it a dream?" she said as she let her hand go through those blond strands of hair. "Rick?" she dared to ask.

Kuon shivered, "A little, but…" he looked down and closed his eyes. He didn't want to tell her what happened at the end of the dream or how he was feeling scared that Kyoko was sick because it was divine retribution or karma or just pure bad luck. Kuon got out of the bed immediately as he heard Kou waking up.

"I'll go check on our son," Kuon said as he watched Kyoko, his face was extremely pale by this point. "You just…get back to sleep. I'm so sorry for waking you up, my princess," he kissed her softly before pulling away as she watched him leave.

Kyoko frowned. She knew her husband wasn't sleeping very well anymore and even though she had seen him develop in his eating, now he was hiding what he ate as he had done in the early part of their knowing one another. He was getting to be distant as well and she could see the gentleman smile popping up. Was he this worried about her acting?

Kyoko had to admit that she was terrified too, she was scared that she wasn't getting better and that her body never felt as strong as it once had. She had trouble being on her feet all the time and was privately glad that she had only been asked for one episode roles. That meant there was nobody to disappoint with her resolve to pause in her acting dreams.

This man though, he wasn't the calm and strong and mature Ren anymore, he also wasn't the playboy, or the daredevil or the bold and outspoken Kuon that she knew. He was afraid, terrified, and she hated to see him this way. She was used to him having moments where he couldn't breathe, she had learned what he needed during those times. Now, Kuon was spending all of his free time trying to make her feel better and looking for ways to help her. He had even started collecting medical books and been writing notes in a journal to find a treatment plan that might make better sense.

Fortunately, Japan didn't know how broken he was already getting to be.

Kyoko looked up and smiled softly at Kou who was in Kuon's arms. "Oh, hey baby," she said to him, "did you have a bad dream?" she asked as Kou nodded and then reached out for her. "Want to sleep with mommy and daddy tonight?" she asked and smiled affectionately as Kou nodded and snuggled down under the blanket.

"Kuon," Kyoko said as she watched her husband staring off into space, "Kuon, are you doing alright?"

"Huh?" Kuon blinked before giving that stupid smile to 'prove' he was okay. "I'm fine, yes, everything's okay. Are you okay?"

Kuon refused to tell Kyoko that the reason why both he and Kou were scared was that Kyoko wasn't there with them in both nightmares. Kuon didn't want to tell his wife how in his own dream she was dead because of him.

"Kuon. I think you were right, acting is taking a lot out of me. I'm going to stop taking jobs and concentrate on getting better," she said as he sighed in relief and then nodded.

"Thank you," he told her honestly before trying to get the image of his fifteen year old self out of his head.

….

…..

As Yashiro Yukihito, watched Kuon performing his role as an American Interpol agent, he could see that Kuon had grown as an actor even further during his time living in the US. The level of his acting was definitely that of a top movie star and everyone was excited to see how this would turn out. Even though Kuon was acting the role of an American, he was still the main star in this movie.

"So, that's what wins someone an Academy Award, hmm?" the female director asked as she came up beside Yashiro who had been recording the scene for his studies.

"I think that the depth and range of his roles has something to do with it, but yes, Kuon is one of the world's best actors. He's a pedigree in that," Yashiro smiled towards the director before putting the camera down. Ever since he had started working with Ren, he had kept a video camera close at hand.

"Well, he's never had to do an NG despite us filming this for over a month and a half," the director said as the scene wrapped up. "I thought that Ren Tsuruga was good, but he was much too calm and collected. I really love working with this mature Kuon Hizuri."

Yashiro smiled as Kuon came over with a weak and nervous smile.

The scene in which they had just shot was where his character, Daniel, had just admitted to the romantic love interest that he was on the case for the man who had abused her. The scene had been a mess of emotions and ended with a spray of bullets where Daniel had to hold her close to protect her. Kuon had been able to work with different emotions all at once which had given a lot of hope to the director about the way the movie was working.

Kuon was beyond spectacular in it.

"Director Kanagawa," he said as he dropped into a professional bow, "Was everything alright with that scene."

The director grinned to him. "You really can ask that without an air of narcissism," she smiled. "That's why I love an actor who just loves to live for his work. So, I think you're done for the day. Go get changed and we'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks," Kuon smiled as he put a towel to his face.

His body posture and gait were fine, his steps were confident and calm until it came to a point where only he and Yashiro were around and Kuon's eyes widened. Looking towards the dressing rooms, Kuon shivered and gave a weak laugh. He put a hand to his forehead suddenly feeling completely exhausted.

"I'm not okay," he whispered, not even sure how his close friend would respond.

"Kuon, you were amazing in that scene. Don't doubt your acting skills now, you could have before but now it just sounds as if you're sho-" Yashiro said before seeing how pale his client was and the stress and worry that had been able to be hidden from the camera. "We've got an interview to go to in an hour, I know that your schedule isn't as packed as it was…"

"The acting is fine," Kuon said before putting a hand to the wall as if to balance himself. "She's not getting any better. I don't know what I can do for her anymore, the doctors still aren't finding a cure and the only things that I've found are ridiculous and could never work," he admitted.

"Kuon…" Yashiro said slowly. "Are you sure that you shouldn't try to be home more. I know that you have been taking care of Kou a bit more than you said you had been. I mean, it's not showing in your acting which is the best thing. Everyone talks about how amazing you are."

Kuon laughed as he looked at his hand, "I'm not amazing. She is. She's so much stronger than me, she deserves so much more than I could give her. I'm losing her Yashiro and the hardest part is that I feel that the world is punishing me for the crimes of my youth. I thought I had broken free of my darkness and then…she was there and the darkness just went to her instead. I'm responsible for this, Yashiro" Kuon said desperately as the manager's eyes widened and he escorted his client and best friend to the dressing room.

"You need to sit," he said as Kuon slumped on the chair. "Listen, I've heard the parts of your past that you've been willing to share with me and I hate to tell you this, but you seem to have the best parts of two men. You repented for that darkness inside of you. You knew that you carried around that…madness and you set it free. I see a Kuon that kept the best parts of Ren Tsuruga to turn himself into a stronger Kuon Hizuri. Do you want me to lighten your work load?" he asked.

Kuon sighed, "She'd kill me if I did that, you know she would."

"Maybe," Yashiro said thoughtfully, "but unless you are able to see that you aren't the one who is causing her to be sick, to go through this, you are going to kill yourself or at least burn yourself out, Kuon."

Kuon looked up at his manager, "I just want her to be okay. That is the only thing that I want."

"Then you have to have hope that she will be," Yashiro suggested.

Kyoko's illness had seemed to push Kuon over the edge where he could only succeed if giving 100% into his acting enough to blind himself from the pain. Still, the pain was growing more and more inside him each day and Yashiro worried what would become of the actor if his wife passed away.


	5. Chapter 5 - Collapse

**Author Note:** Hope you enjoy this chapter 😊 I will try to put up a chapter around this time every night as much as I can, but have work too so that might mean I might skip some nights. Hope you are enjoying it.

 **Chapter Five - Collapse**

It was June. June was a month of ice cream, water melon, going to the beach. June was the start of summer and the best day for seaside picnics and enjoying the hot weather. June was also the month in which Kou Hizuri was turning three years old.

It might be the last birthday that the three of them would spend together.

Usually it was Kyoko who would put together any celebration for them to have. It didn't matter what the event was, Kyoko usually liked to get very creative with the holiday and had even told Kuon a few times that she was imagining herself channeling the president. Kuon could believe this was the case by what she had come up with for anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays.

However, this year, on the day of their son's third birthday, Kuon had been put in charge of it and despite Kyoko telling him that she could handle the majority of it, he had felt that he had put together a really boring third birthday for his kid.

It was the five of the Hizuri clan at this point, other individuals including Maria, Kanae, Lory, and Yashiro, had been coming into the house throughout the day to say hi to the little boy and give him a gift, but at this time it was the five Hizuris and the cake.

The party had been centered around some of Kou's favorite animals with little activities that Kuon had been told about by his costars and members of the crew who had young children. There were a lot of pictures of birds and Kuon kept feeling Kyoko blaming herself for not doing more. Kuon hated to say that he had done his best because from the way his wife was reacting, his best wasn't good enough.

"How about we put Kou to bed tonight?" Kuu said as he came back to the kitchen where Kuon was trying to put away the food. "You know, you've become a lot better at cooking since you started dating Kyoko. What was that one dish called where it was mostly burned?" Kuu teased his son with a weak smile as Kuon nodded.

"I see what you're getting at," he said before looking at Kou, "It wasn't really disgusting, was it?" he asked unsure of himself.

Seeing the decrease in confidence and strength that his son was enduring was devastating to Kuu. Everyone knew that Kyoko had become sicker and her medication had had to be increased due to this, but she was still fighting. Kuu had to hope that his biological son was fighting too. "It was good. Kou was really happy. Kuon," he said as he reached out to put his hand on his son's shoulder but Kuon dodged away.

"Dad, I'm fine. I've got it. Don't worry about me," Kuon attempted to smile to him to lead him off the signal. "I'm fine."

Kuu coughed and looked away, "Like hell you are," he told the younger man. "Kuon, if there is _anything_ that I can do, that either I or your mother can do. Please promise us that you'll tell us. Whatever it is, all we want is for you to be safe."

"I am fine," Kuon said as he tightened his belt again. He couldn't believe how much weight _he_ had lost just worrying about Kyoko. It wasn't even worth thinking about because Kyoko came first, she _had_ to be put first.

"Son, if you don't take care of yourself," Kuu said, "Then there will be nobody to take care of -"

"I know. I know," Kuon cut his dad off. "Trust me, I want to take care of her and make sure that she's alright. I'm trying to figure it out," he saw his father looking at him in frustration but still allowing him to continue getting the words out and realized just how he had cut his father off.

"I was saying that without you there would be nobody to take care of Kou," Kuu said. He saw Kuon's face change to one of guilt. "Kuon, Kyoko is important to all of us, but you need to be a husband _and a father_." Kuu tried to explain before hearing Julie gasp and Kou's shocked cries.

Kuon stared at his father and went back to see his wife unconscious and on the ground.

"Mommy," Kou whimpered as he looked at his mother crumpled like a doll on the floor. He felt his father's hand through his hair as his Daddy went to his Mommy. Kou felt himself pulled into his grandmother's arms as she took care of him.

"Kyoko," Kuon worried as he looked over his collapsed wife. He knew she had been trying to add onto his plans for this party, he knew how stressed she had been for Kou not having a perfect birthday party where the family could be together. On another day, perhaps Kuon would have argued with her not to overstress herself but he knew he had wanted everything as perfect for Kou as possible too.

"Dad! Call an…" he said before seeing his father already contacting the emergency services.

"Kyoko," the blond said as he checked her over. He felt her forehead and then her breathing before measuring her pulse rate. Her health condition was getting worse. "Hey, princess, it's going to be okay," he told her. "Everything will be alright."

Kuon tried to keep her still and keep close watch over her heart rate, her breathing, her body. He hated to see how broken she was, he hated to see her this weak. That was why he could never look at himself in a mirror and see how this illness was destroying _him_ because his thoughts were always with this woman before his eyes.

He just didn't understand why some of the symptoms that people usually got from cancer treatments weren't showing up, but then this wasn't a cancer, it was a still unknown illness. Why wasn't there any information being found about how treatment or at least one accurate diagnosis.

He was failing her. "Kyoko," he said as he felt his body release its tension with the sound of the ambulance outside.

….

….

Kuon felt as if he couldn't breathe. He couldn't concentrate on anything as he sat in a private room they had given him in the Tokyo Hospital since as soon as he came in the door people started whispering about him. The doctors had been approaching him as if _he_ was going to pass out at any moment. He had been told that he didn't look healthy. He looked too sick, too pale, too malnourished.

It was all lies.

Kyoko was the one who was sick, she was the one who they were supposed to pay attention to. He had failed her. He had made it so that she couldn't even celebrate such an important day to their family. They were supposed to be reading Kou a bedtime story right now and telling him how much they both loved him.

Kuu and Julie were amazing grandparents, but Kou deserved to have his mother and father there with him on his birthday. Kou wasn't even the type of kid to love presents and material items, he was that rare type of child who preferred the time spent with his family to any gift.

What was wrong with his wife? Why had it been four months and he still had no answer. He couldn't breathe anymore and he was only pulling himself together for the sake of his work. It was too bad he was a top notch actor, if he hadn't been he might never have worked through all of this suffering so well. Apparently his acting skills made his pain look non existent apart from in scenes where he was _supposed_ to look in pain.

"Kuon-san," a doctor said, "She's in stable condition, you can go and see her if you would like," she said as Kuon stood up. He was glad they had given him a room where he could be alone to collect his thoughts, he would have to be strong for the woman he loves.

"Thank you," he nodded.

….

….

Kyoko felt terrible for being here in the hospital once again with doctors surrounding her. She had wanted this day to be perfect for her three year old son and she had spoiled another day for her family. She was getting frustrated that Kuon kept looking worse and worse and he wasn't even listening to anyone tell him how weak he looked when off set.

Kyoko knew that both Yashiro _and_ Lory knew he was breaking about a month ago, but whenever they would talk about him seeing a doctor he would steer the conversation towards her getting better. Was this what happened when your loved one was sick? Was this what it meant by having a compassionate understanding or maybe that just meant you listened to someone.

Whatever Kuon was going through, she just wished she could get better. If she worked harder to get better then Kuon would get better too.

She managed to force a smile as she heard a knock on the door and Kuon opened it tentatively. "Hey," Kyoko said weakly as she reached out for his hand. "I'm sorry," she smiled weakly as Kuon shook his head.

"No, no it's okay. I…I told them about the specialist and he should be down here soon," Kuon tried to help Kyoko feel better. He was running out of ideas on how to do that any longer.

"I'll give you two some time alone," the doctor said as Kuon smiled gratefully at her. He went to the bed and took Kyoko's hand with both of his before pressing soft kisses to it.

"It isn't your fault," he told her as he held her hand tighter with his and pressed his forehead down so she wouldn't see the pain in his eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong. I love you so much, princess. You are so strong, Kyoko. Thank you for fighting so hard for us."

"Kuon," Kyoko was about to thank him before a knock on the door stopped her from being able to do so and she looked up to see her specialist doctor. She paused nervously, "Hi," she said as Kuon squeezed her hand with one of his and ran his thumb up and down the back of her hand.

"So, the doctor at this hospital told me what happened and I have to say that it has me concerned," he said as Kyoko felt her stomach sink in. "I propose that we add a third drug, I'll bring the new ones to the hospital myself this afternoon."

Kuon bit his bottom lip before deciding to take his chance and ask. "Is there any proof that the drugs are working? I mean, proof that we can see. My wife has been taking these drugs for a while and she isn't getting better. Her condition is weakening, isn't it worth seeing how she is off of the drugs?"

"It's not necessary," the doctor said as Kuon looked down. He hated to argue with this man when he hadn't studied medicine, but something felt off about this treatment plan.

"I believe that both Kyoko and I would be very grateful to see just what the drugs are doing to her body. We were hoping to see one of the blood tests or anything that recorded her vitals along with the dosages of the drugs that she's taken," Kuon proposed.

The doctor shook his head and walked over to Kyoko's other side, "I don't think it's necessary for tha-"

"I think it's necessary," Kuon said as he stood up. "I don't understand what is going on or what ingredients the pills have in them. I want to know what my wife has and I want to know what the pills are doing to her," he stressed as he felt his free hand form a fist.

"I'm good, I trust you," Kyoko told the doctor before taking a deep breath in. "Just let the doctor do his job. God, Ren, why do you have to be so aggressive about this? I trust him, why can't you?" she looked up at her husband to see his haunted and horrified expression.

"What…did you just call me?" he asked her slowly.

….

 **Any reviews are much appreciated**


	6. Chapter 6 - For Me

**Author Note:** I want to apologize if this particular chapter is all over the place. I am currently sick and very very tired but wanted to keep to a chapter a day. I hope you are still enjoying it. Also, I do apologize for the number of chapters this fic will have. You have been warned ;)

 **Chapter Six – For Me**

Kuon laughed weakly as he saw Kyoko looking up at him with a puzzled expression. He didn't want to repeat his question because he was scared that she wouldn't say 'Kuon'. Maybe this was what he deserved. He hadn't cured Kyoko of her illness and maybe, just maybe, Ren Tsuruga would have been able to. Kuon slowly lowered his hand, "It's okay," he said as he looked at the doctor. "If that's what will help her get better then we can do the drug treatments."

"Well it is her body, Mr Tsuruga" the doctor said as he noticed the pain on Kuon's face.

"Hizuri," Kuon muttered as he looked away. "Hizuri Kuon" he said as he looked at his wife. Was this doctor trying to make it so that it was easier on Kyoko to call him Ren? He didn't want to think about foul play, but he had already had lengthy discussions where Kyoko convinced him to leave Ren in the past and focus on being the best Kuon he could be.

"My family name is Hizuri," Kyoko said as she looked at the specialist and reached out to hold her husband's hand. "My husband's name is Kuon. Ren Tsuruga was just a stage name, my husband is extremely strong and brave. Please don't take his name away from him," she said as Kuon kissed the top of her head, pausing to inhale before looking at Kyoko.

"You want to do the drug therapy and add the third drug, don't you princess?" he asked as she nodded. "Then that's what we'll do. All I was trying to do was think of an alternative, but if you think that's what is best, we can do that," Kuon said as he sat down next to her again.

"I think it's best if Kyoko and I discuss this alone," the doctor said before Kuon shook his head.

"My apologies, but I'm not going to allow you to do so. This is my wife. Anything you have to discuss with her I can be witness to," Kuon said as he tried to protect the woman he loved. He didn't want to upset Kyoko any further and he definitely didn't want anyone calling him Ren Tsuruga anymore. Although he wasn't sure of what was actually going on around him, one thing that Kuon _did_ know was that he wanted to be as close to his wife as possible.

"Well, we'll talk later," the doctor said before leaving.

As he left and the door closed, Kuon closed his eyes and bowed his head. He tried to measure the length of both his inhales and exhales as he tried to get rid of all the negative emotions welling up inside of him. He squeezed Kyoko's hand in his and when he opened his eyes, he just saw his wife watching him. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I want to make you better. I was just concerned. I…"

"You have to trust them, Kuon," Kyoko said. The actress reached out and placed a hand on Kuon's cheek. "You have to be strong for me and you have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing. Trust me, I'm frustrated too that we're running out of options but if they have some ideas on how to help the situation, you can't just argue against them."

Kuon nodded and closed his eyes again. "I know." Kuon stayed silent for a few more moments before looking back at his wife, "I'm sorry I'm not your knight in shining armor," he said as Kyoko shrugged.

"Who needs a common knight," she grinned, "When I have the prince."

….

….

Kyoko had been in the hospital for several hours now and the doctor had told her that she could go home, however due to how weak she had become and how she had collapsed a few times now, there was a catch to her hospital release. She would be able to get released but only if she was in a wheelchair.

That was why the couple was now staring at the wheelchair that had been placed in the middle of the room. Kuon smiled as he looked at it. He had been able to get the best one possible for his wife, but he still could see by her expression that she was unimpressed by what was occurring.

"It's not that ba-" Kuon started but was cut off by Kyoko.

"What do you mean it's not that bad?" she asked him as she sat up in the bed, now dressed in a skirt and loose blouse. "I've already said I'm not going to be in the acting field for the present time, but that doesn't mean I have to be painted as an invalid."

Kuon frowned with a deep breath in. "I don't think it's saying that," he said as he sat on the side of the bed and reached back for her hand. "I think it's just saying that you are ill and doing everything you can to get well again," he suggested before sighing. "Is it because it's not made out of glass or diamonds?" he asked her.

Kyoko laughed weakly, "I don't need _everything_ to be a fairy tale, Kuon. I just want my freedom and being told I have to be in that chair is _not_ having freedom."

Taking a deep breath in and letting out a heavy exhale, Kuon nodded. "Well, I do have to admit it isn't that regal. Maybe if I used a coat of paint on it," he teased, "or maybe I could send it out to get some gems and jewels, maybe cover it in gold," he said. "Then it'd really look like a carriage instead of a chair, would you like that?" he asked her with a playful smile.

"You know, you think you're teasing me, but you're just acting like an idiot," Kyoko said as she tried to stand and get out of the bed. She felt how weak her legs were and understood the need of the chair as Kuon instantly attempted to support her weight.

"Well, at least an idiot is better than being a jerk like Fuwa," Kuon joked before picking Kyoko up in his arms as she stared at him before relaxing.

"I think I could actually get used to you carrying me around every moment of every day," she teased him before her heart sank with Kuon helping her into the chair. "Kuon, this…I don't need to do this," she lied. She was terrified about what being in a wheelchair would say to the media. She didn't want any of her enemies to see her looking sickly and she didn't want to hear even more gossip about the fact that she could possibly die in the coming months. Kyoko felt herself tense before she looked ahead of her and into the all too familiar green eyes of her husband.

"I'm here," he said to her with a weak smile. "You know how whenever you were scared to start a role, you always thought about what advice I'd give to you or what I would do if I were in your situation. Well, just know that I am right here. You're not alone in this."

"I know," Kyoko said as she placed a hand on his cheek and smiled watching him, "but Kuon…"

Kuon looked at her as he took her hands in his own and tried to maintain eye contact with her. "Kyoko," he said with a very caring and somewhat concerned tone, "Please don't think of this as something you're forced to do when you're sick. Please, try to think of this as something that _I_ can do to help you. I'm lost princess," he admitted guiltily, "I am really scared about this and I don't know what to do. Wheeling you around in a chair makes me think that I'm still here with you, helping you fight to get strong again. Please just…let me help?" he asked as Kyoko felt her heart break as she took in how weak her usually strong and fearless husband was.

"Okay," she said with a deep breath in. "I'll use the chair for your sake, Kuon."

"Good," Kuon smiled slightly, "That is all I'm asking for," he replied.

He didn't care who Kyoko needed to think needed her in that wheelchair. He didn't care what name she addressed him with. He just wanted her to be safe.

….

….

There was silence on the set as the director called for an NG on Kuon. Yashiro felt his breath hitch in his throat, he knew that Kyoko had been released from the hospital the previous day in a wheelchair. That must be where Kuon's inner turmoil was coming from. However, even though Kyoko had been sick for a while, Kuon had always kept his head above water when acting.

Well, until now.

"Kuon, you need to make sure to keep Aiko safe. All that is keeping her from breaking down into insanity is your love. The audience needs to see that you are capable of keeping her safe and keeping her alive," the director called out as Yashiro felt his hand tighten around the camera.

This was unfair to ask Kuon for such a situation. Already, Kuon was facing the same feelings in his everyday life. He was a husband and father who wasn't there with his young child because he was needed as an actor. His wife was dying and they didn't know the cure for it. Kuon didn't even know which way to turn anymore. All it seemed he could do was sit there are watch his wife burn out.

"I…I really apologize," Kuon said as he took deep breaths. He hadn't lost the hold of his acting ability yet, not until this point and it terrified him how he couldn't even act it out. The guilt was twisting him into tight knots and pressing against his heart and his lungs. He couldn't operate without knowing that Kyoko was getting better.

At last the person that he loved _outweighed_ the job he loved, his passion.

"Kuon," Director Kanagawa said as she approached the actor who had a blank expression on his face. It was the same one he had trained himself to use so that Kyoko wouldn't be able to see how the illness was affecting him. He wasn't being physically hurt by it, he didn't have any right for her to be concerned about him. "I want you to imagine that Aiko is Kyoko."

There was a drop of silence as that was said. Yashiro knew those were the wrong words as Kuon got lost inside his head.

"I'm a murderer," he whispered as he started to stare down at his hands. "This is failing because of me, I'm killing her."

Yashiro rolled his eyes at the murmurs around the set. Did they actually not see that this world class actor was broken due to his wife's illness that was unable to be diagnosed and because it was unable to be diagnosed, it was unable to be cured? He felt a tug at his heart as the director ignorantly continued.

"Do you understand the scene, Kuon?" she asked him. "You haven't murdered anyone. You are to protect Aiko and keep her from..."

Yashiro stepped forward and cut the director off, "Kuon knows what the scene is about," he said. "I'm surprised that you have such little faith in him. Kuon knows, more than anyone here, how to develop his character and how to understand a scene written in the script. Of course he knows the intentions of his character and the intention of the actions written down. You don't seem to be understanding that my client, _my friend_ , might lose his wife. The only way you can not understand his pain is if you have never been in love."

The director stared at Yashiro and paused. It was definitely unexpected for a _manager_ to challenge the director, but Yashiro was scared that Kuon was evaporating before their eyes.

He would always be willing to stand up for his friend.


	7. Chapter 7 - Flushed

**Author Note:** This chapter is pretty dramatic 😊 but I felt like writing it since I've been depressed recently. I also feel bad for making you guys wait such a long time until things start happening so I hope you enjoy this a lot 😊

 **Chapter Seven – Flushed**

It was the end of July and the summer had been hot this year. Usually that would mean that there were bathing suits and day trips. There would be ice cream and melon and festivals. This year it meant that things would be hot and bothersome and no matter how high the air conditioning was set, it wasn't helping Kyoko's illness.

Now they were six months into the illness and there was no cure and not even a diagnosis. Each day Kyoko seemed to be getting worse and more unhealthy and all Kuon could do was watch her and be thankful that he had finished filming for the movie. He had already asked to cut down on interviews and commercials and had asked Lory to give him more time to consider longer work.

His work was here though and for the first time in years he was grappling with his past.

His darkness wasn't isolated from the situation that his family was in.

It was because of the sins he had committed himself that Kyoko was in such a state, that he was losing her and he had already felt himself breaking. He had patched himself together with figurative bandages, glue, and even bonded himself in a make-believe coating of iron. However, the old Kuon, the one who he _had_ been in his past was showing through as he felt that he was more like an ill placed vase than a human being.

At this point, his mother had taken Kou out and Kanae was coming over to spend some time with her best friend. Kuu was running some of the tasks since he and Julie had moved over to Japan to help the family handle this. Kuon wasn't able to do it alone anymore and even some scandalous journalists had found that out.

"Have you gone completely insane, Kuon!?" Kyoko yelled up at her husband from the living room chair she was sitting on, the wheelchair right next to her. "How could you have done this!? Are you so far gone that…"

Kuon took deep breaths trying to make sure that he didn't break in front of her. He needed to channel as much of Ren Tsuruga as he possibly could. He should have prepared himself for this, but he had been too caught up in the action to do anything.

"I thought it was for the best," he told her as Kyoko raised an eyebrow.

"You do realize I'm sick, don't you Ren?" she asked as Kuon flinched at the name but this time it actually helped ground him. Kuon Hizuri might not be able to make it through this situation alive, Ren Tsuruga _could_. He didn't want to say that when Kyoko was this emotional, she would call him Ren. It was always a heat of the moment saying and she would never remember that it had come out. Being sick did that to people.

"I do know that," he nodded. He was scared to look at her in case he couldn't contain himself any longer. It wasn't what he wanted, to fight with her. What he wanted was her to get better, for her to be safe and happy and healthy. He wanted to fulfill the vows he had made to her on their wedding day.

"Then what kind of immature thoughts were going through your messed up head when you flushed my medication!?" she yelled at him as Kuon felt himself breaking.

 _Channel Ren Tsuruga. He wouldn't back down to this, this isn't a fight it's a discussion. Don't let yourself break and get defeated._ Kuon tried to think to himself as he watched Kyoko. Arguing that he disposed of the medication safely and anonymously, most likely was _not_ what she wanted to hear.

"I thought that it was making you sick," Kuon replied honestly as he felt the burning of Kyoko's grudges. "Do you know how hard it is to see that my wife is sick?" he asked, "To see that she is getting worse and not better and to be unable to do anything about it?"

Kyoko looked away, "Ren, you're not a doctor, you can't do the things that doctors do."

Kuon frowned and before he knew it, he had broken again. "I gave up being Ren Tsuruga when I told you that I loved you," he said to her not realizing the lack of control he had over his emotions again. "I followed your decision and let the world know I wasn't Ren Tsuruga when you said yes to my marriage proposal. I haven't been Ren Tsuruga in _years_. You know my messed up past, you know the crimes I committed, you know that I've been making you sick, but you said you loved me as Kuon Hizuri!" Before he realized it, Kuon had turned and punched a hole in the wall of their home. He took a step back, his eyes widening as he felt the loss of control once again.

Kyoko stared at the damage and spoke slowly, "I'm not stupid. I know you're not Ren Tsuruga," she said as she looked at the man who was staring fearfully at the damage. "You're nothing like him."

Kuon stared at the wall with wide eyes, he hadn't lost himself in his emotions for a really long time. The old him couldn't be resurfacing, right? He needed to calm down and focus on his wife, focus on making her happy and keeping her healthy, focus on how he had got rid of those pills. "Yeah," he nodded, his body turning to ice on the inside.

"Kuon," Kyoko said as he looked at her with the expression of a helpless child, "Listen, you didn't make me sick. You didn't cause my illness, but without that medication you might," she lifted herself to the chair as she spoke, "as well have done."

The knock on the door that happened only a few moments later was known to both of them as Kanae Kotonami. However, Kuon hadn't been able to say a word in response.

Had he just ended his wife's life by his ridiculous action?

….

….

Kyoko smiled as she enjoyed the ice cream with her friend. She licked the spoon happily and saw Kanae staring at her with a weak smile. "I haven't been able to eat like this for a while," Kyoko giggled, "it's nice to spend time together."

"So," Kanae said as she twirled the spoon around in the remainder of the sweet treat, "He doesn't take you out for ice cream?" she asked as Kyoko frowned.

Not knowing what to say, Kyoko studied the woman in front of her. Kanae had been able to rise through the ranks of Japanese actresses, but she had never really had a steady boyfriend meaning that she had never made a top ten list. She was talented for sure, but it was as if she had never really wanted to love. She had been able to take on roles where the character she was playing was in love, but to Kyoko's knowledge she didn't love anyone.

Kyoko paused as she saw Kanae looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you going to answer my question or what? Are you not feeling well?" she asked concerned as Kyoko looked down.

"I'm so sick of everyone asking me that…and as for Kuon, he would take me out for ice cream if I asked him to, with the hotter weather he's even proposed the idea to me a few times, but I like to eat without restrictions," Kyoko announced as she took a bite of the wafer that had been put in the side of her sundae.

"Restrictions? You mean for weight or something?" Kanae asked confused.

"Moko" Kyoko laughed, "Are you calling me fat?" she teased before frowning. "Since no one knows what my illness is, Kuon has all of this data on his phone for what food restrictions line up with my symptoms. Although he will let me eat whatever I want, he spends at least five minutes figuring out if I should be eating it."

Kanae took a deep breath in and then exhaled slowly, "Well at least he's trying to make sure that you're alright. It could be seen as him just doing whatever is possible to keep you with us. You know, he's really showing that he's at a lost end," she said despite saying that talking about Kuon wasn't a subject she was that fond of. "With him saying he'll be stepping down from acting soon."

Kyoko paused as she pushed the ice cream container forward and blinked hard, "He said what?" she asked with some frustration building towards her husband inside.

….

….

Kuon sat in the middle of what had been the second guest bathroom. Less than twenty minutes ago, the room had been spotless and had sparkled. Everything had been in its proper place and even the tiles looked flawlessly polished. It was a wonder what twenty minutes could do.

The room was a disaster and it had all happened because of that stupid mirror.

After spending so long trying to remind himself of his place as husband and father, Kuon had seen his younger face in the mirror and had started to lose it again. Everything which he had had control over seemed to rage wild and the walls turned black, his world turned black again.

So, he had broken the mirror, turned over the sink, and destroyed the toilet. He had let his anger out and now this destruction around him and the blood running down his arm and covering his bruised hand were the results.

He wasn't even listening when he heard the spare keys in the door and a voice that had used to be comforting calling out. "Hey! Kuon, you home!" Kuu Hizuri had said, it had started out in a sing-songy way before he had noticed the hole in the wall and he sounded more panicked. "Kuon! Kyoko!" he called out for his children before hearing the sound of Kuon laughing from the guest bathroom.

Kuon looked at the blood going down his arm and the pain coming from his wrist and laughed to himself. His eyes showed the madness in him as he saw the red color and put a finger to it. When he saw his father's horrified expression as he stood in the doorway, Kuon paused and saw his dad rush over to help with his arm.

"Kuon?" he asked as he put a hand to his son's cheek, "Kuon? Listen to me. Can you hear me?" he asked as he looked around at the destruction. Did Kuon and Kyoko have a fight? Is that where his son was breaking. Kyoko wasn't even dead yet, they had to have more time to solve this.

"I bleed the same color as her, dad" he said before Kuu reached for a damp cloth and placed it on Kuon's forehead.

"You need to rest. I'll take care of this," he said as he stood to get the supplies needed to bandage up his son. "You need to get strong for Kyoko."

Kuon nodded, "I'm trying, dad" he said weakly looking a broken shell of a man already. "I'm trying, I really am trying."

"Then we'll have to try together, work as a team," Kuu said as he let his fingers run through his son's hair. He attempted to clean the wound and sighed. His son had become unable to be the great actor he had been months ago. If he could just get him calm and maybe find some time for the two of them to talk. Maybe that would be alright.

"I'm proud of you," Kuu said, "for taking a break. I know it's hard on you, but I think it's really what you need," he wanted to hold his son tight and promise to make it better for him.

"She won't be," Kuon said honestly.

He couldn't break yet, not when she was still here.

 **Every review is appreciated**


	8. Chapter 8 - To A Point of Understanding

**Author Note:** I know it must be annoying for some people for me to update so much and it must also be a little annoying that I once again changed the title of this fic, please forgive me for those two things. However, I have finally found a fic that I love writing even more than I love receiving reviews 😊 It's really strange that this has happened to me, but now that this fic is helping me tackle my depression, I'm very motivated to continue writing it.

Thank you for everything and I do love reviews but I mainly want you to enjoy reading this fic.

 **Chapter Eight – To a Point of Understanding**

It had been a couple of weeks since Kyoko had accused her husband of flushing the entirety of her medication down the toilet, what she hadn't told him about was the secret stash that she kept hidden. There was no chance that she was going to let him take those away from her as well. Still, the way he would sometimes slip into a depression was alarming to her.

She needed to talk to him and get him to snap out of it.

At the time being she was reading a book whilst he was helping Kou paint. Her son was so artistic and he loved to make things with his Daddy. He would always try to draw or color animals and Kuon would always be able to tell just what animal he had drawn, no matter how abstract the art was.

"So," Kuon said as Kyoko smiled at him remembering when she had thought that she had met Corn, the fairy prince for the second time, her husband looked just as elegant and regal. "What colors do you want to paint?" he asked as he started sketching on his own paper.

"Ortange!" Kou giggled as Kuon kissed his blond hair.

"Okay," Kuon grinned, "You want to do it the magic way or you want to use the orange pot?" he said as he gestured to the bottles in which they stored the nice paint products. With Kuon's income they could afford very nice products that Kyoko wouldn't have even dreamed of for most of her teenage years.

"Magic," Kou smiled as he spread his arms out wide. He felt his father lift him onto his lap so he could reach the palette more easily.

"Alright, so we put in the red first," Kuon showed his son as he squirted in a little of the red paint, "and then we cast a magic spell on the yellow. You have to think of the color orange that you want Kou," he tried to remind him. "Think of lots of orange things, like tigers and oranges, think of lots of orange things. Now we can put the magic in since we cast the spell," he smiled as Kou excitedly mixed the red and yellow together once his daddy had put them both in.

"It work!" Kou laughed loudly as he mixed it up with his large paintbrush.

"Yay," Kuon laughed as he kissed his son on the cheek. "Now let's get you back in your seat," he said as Kou started to paint his picture.

At this point, Kyoko had come over to her husband and kissed _his_ cheek. "Hi," she blushed as he looked at her. She always was drawn into those gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Hey," he said as he slid a hand to his wife's cheek and kissed her passionately on the lips. "How are you today my gorgeous princess?" he asked as she smiled nervously.

"Kuon, I never really….we never really…I'm glad that you managed to take a break from acting. I'm really sorry that I didn't say that sooner. You know that I just want you to be happy, don't you?" she asked worried about him saying that she wasn't good enough to be his wife and that he had decided to disappear due to her cruelty. Instead he nodded.

"I know," he reached out and kissed her again before pulling back slightly and resting his forehead on hers. "You know I want you to be happy and safe, right?" he asked as she looked at him. She was always drawn into him when they were this close. He looked so different with his natural appearance. She had gotten used to it when the two of them were engaged, but sometimes she had to look at the golden hair and most wonderful eyes she had ever seen and be thankful that she had married him.

"Kuon, if I…pass away, I still want you to be happy even if it is with somebody else," she said as Kuon shot a look at Kou. Fortunately their son was too immersed in his painting to listen to his parents' words.

"Could we discuss this later?" he asked, "I mean, I'm open to hearing about it, but I don't think we should talk about it in front of Kou, at least not when he's this happy." He reached out and held his wife's hands. "If you are okay painting with Kou for a little bit, I have something that I wanted to give to you."

Kyoko nodded nervously before seeing her husband leave the room.

She had to repeat the idea to herself that her husband really did have the perfect measurements to be a fairy prince. She didn't even know that people that attractive were allowed to live among commoners, but it was a good thing he could. He had changed her life for the better.

When he returned, he had a large book in his hands and Kyoko watched him in interest. He sat down on the bench at the table again so he could face her with his whole body. "Here," he said as he handed the book to his wife. "Sorry that it took me so long to put together. I had to make a few trips outside of Tokyo to put everything together, but I wanted to give you something so you will always remember how loved you are."

With a nervous smile, Kuon watched as Kyoko opened the book.

Inside of the book there were pages and pages of photos, small scrapbook items, and each had a handwritten letter from a person who had been important in Kyoko's life saying all the things that they either loved about her or respected about her. He had even gone to the trouble of getting the Fuwas to write something as well as tracking down her mother who had most likely been swamped by work.

Kyoko felt a few tears in her eyes as she looked over the two pages in the very middle that Kanae had used up with stories, pictures, and then even the ice cream punch card that they had had when they were teens and before Kyoko had married her prince.

She was amazed at how many people were in there and then turned to the very last pages and flicked through them. "Kuon…" she softened as she counted them. Behind the two pages that Kou had drawn on, Kuon had put eight pages of his own thoughts and memories of her. There were small items, photographs, drawings, and clippings. She held the book close as she finished looking over those last eight pages for the third time.

"This is wonderful," she told him as she held the book close to her chest. "I can't believe that my sweet Corn went and did all of this for me. Thank you. I couldn't…all of this work…thank you, Kuon."

"Anything to see you smile," Kuon said before Kyoko reached out her arms and held him close.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated as she pressed kisses to his neck with each time. She was only stopped from leaving a hickey on him when she heard Kou's voice.

"I done" he giggled as he showed them his picture.

"That's a really nice fox," Kuon grinned as Kou smiled proudly. Kyoko felt grateful she was able to spend these precious moments with her family before the illness ended her and stole her away from them.

….

….

Kyoko looked at her husband as they stayed in the bed together. She grinned as she watched the way in which he lovingly and carefully touched her and gazed down upon her. She was so glad that it was him she had chosen to spend these past years with, she just hoped that they had had longer together. "Kuon, you have no idea how thankful I am that you chose to love me."

Kuon shook his head with a smile, "You should really thank that rooster," he grinned playfully before kissing her seductively on the lips. "That crazy chicken was the one who made me open my eyes to loving you."

Kyoko laughed weakly, "Okay, yeah, right," she winked at him, "Tell you what. I'll thank Bo the next time I see him," she laughed as she placed a hand on where Kuon's firm chest had been and sighed. Maybe in the future he would tone again and the lucky woman he would undoubtedly be with would get to touch that torso, those biceps.

She smiled as Kuon settled down in the bed beside her and watched him. "I am so glad that I took the chance to know all the sides of you," she grinned. "All of those different parts and I'm glad that I managed to confirm my love to myself when you were Cain Heel. That was perhaps the darkest character you've been…well BJ, but he wasn't even real."

Kuon laughed, "You do know that even Ren Tsuruga wasn't real, don't you?" he smiled to her and kissed her nose before drawing her body to his chest.

"That's not what I meant," Kyoko smiled with a light chuckle as she curled into his warm body. "I'm saying that I knew I loved you because even at your worst, even when you were losing control of your body, I still loved you. I just…it took a while for me to be able to articulate it. I was so scared of you just shaking your head, saying you were disappointed in me, and deciding you never wanted to see me again."

Kuon paused and raised an eyebrow, "Wow, so you really did think that Ren Tsuruga was kind of a jerk," he teased. "Yeah, I can see that."

Kyoko shook her head before taking a deep breath in, "I know I've asked for so much of you, my fairy prince, my sweet Corn," she said before inhaling, "but I need to ask something of you once again," she pulled back so she could gaze into those gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Anything," Kuon said as he let his fingers roam her hair. He hated that it had thinned like this, but of course despite the sickness he would never see Kyoko as anything other than beautiful. "I promise you, _anything_."

"When I'm gone…if I'm gone," Kyoko quickly 'corrected' herself to not cause him any pain. "Even if you can't return to acting for a while, I need you to continue to be a father. I know it's a hard thing and if you have to assume the role of Corn or Ren, I understand, but please continue to love Kou and keep him safe. You grew up in the darkest place and I grew up with similar, though lesser, emotions. I wouldn't be able to bear it for Kou to lose his happiness."

Kuon nodded, "He'll lose his happiness when his mother dies, but of course I'll take care of him," he said as he kissed her forehead. "I just don't know if I can be the perfect father, if you're taken from us it's going to be hard for me to focus. I'd want to be the best dad that I could possibly be but I don't know if I can promise to immediately do so."

Kyoko placed a hand on his cheek, "Kuon, listen to me. I'm not asking you to be perfect and I don't care if you need help from your parents. If you can't handle it alone, please find someone who can give you strength even if that is Lory and Yashiro. I just need our son to be with his dad, I need my boys to be together because it's too scary believing that either one of them will be alone."

With that Kyoko kissed her prince, her emperor of the night once again and Kuon stayed quiet as he saw her drift off into her dreamland.


	9. Chapter 9 - Thank You and Goodbye

**Author Note:** I have to warn you guys that this chapter actually made me cry three times whilst writing it and I write in the style of Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King for fun especially my original short stories. Well, I hope that you guys aren't too sad and that you enjoy. Thank you so much for reading.

 **Chapter Nine – Thank You and Goodbye**

It was early September and Kuon _knew_ what his wife was thinking about, those dark thoughts over her mind. Even though he had tracked down her mother and she had written a short and very formal letter for the book, she still hadn't been down to see her personally. Kuon wished he could have just gone out and tracked her down and abducted her so the two could talk. It seemed too late now.

"That's a really good tower, Kou" he told his son as he watched him with his Duplo blocks. He kissed the little boy's head and then went over to his wife.

She was so thin and pale these days and barely had energy for anything. He knew she had trouble doing things now and they had already discussed just keeping her in the hospital to see if they could extend her life, the small amount that she had left. "Hey," Kuon said as he came and sat in front of her, "I'm so sorry that she didn't come," he told her not knowing whether to say more than that. "Kyoko, if there's anything that _I…_ "

"I'm so sorry, Kuon" she whispered as she felt the tears in her eyes again, she reached forward for him before shaking her head. "I'm sorry for every-"

Kuon knelt down and pulled her upper body into his chest wanting to protect her, he did not want to see her cry like this. If they only had a short time left like the doctors had warned them, he wanted to see her happy and smiling. If he could, he'd turn the entire floor into the same substance as the Corn stone and tell her a story that the ground itself was there to catch her sadness.

If only his fairy magic had been real.

"You don't need to apologize," he told her as he very softly put his hand on the back of her neck. "You've given us everything we could have possibly asked for already. Thank you, for being with us. You're always going to be with us, I promise," he told her. He knew there was no way to promise that she would continue to live many many more years, it was a silent truth that she was going to die.

"Do you want me to put kitty ears on you?" he asked with a teasing grin repeating what he had told her as Cain Heel so many years ago. "I think I could track some down," he chuckled as he allowed his hand to catch some of her tears.

"Meow?" Kyoko replied trying to blink away the tears.

"Is there anything that you'd like to do tomorrow?" Kuon asked her, "or today…we still have some time today, if there's anything that I can get you or do for…" he was cut off as Kyoko kissed him passionately and held it for a while before drawing away.

"You have done more than enough, Kuon" she smiled to him. "Please continue to be Kuon, okay?" she asked before smiling in a sweet and thoughtful way, "I think he makes the world a better place and you know I really am in love with him."

Kuon bowed his head with a smile. "I can't go back and change the past, but I can keep going forward and use who I was to become a better person," he smiled. He took a deep breath as he felt the tears in his own eyes. "You have to know though," he said as he watched her. "You've been my wife for four years and my girl for almost six. I'm not going to be able to find someone else," he told her. "I'm not looking for anyone else. Kou's going to be fine, he'll have my parents and our friends around him and he'll always have me, but you're the one for me Kyoko. I will never find someone I love even one tenth as much."

Kyoko felt her heart tighten and felt a bittersweet smile show on her face, "If you do though, you have my blessing," she said as she looked at him. "Kuon, I want you to promise me that you'll continue to fight for your own happiness. I might not be around to help you get out of your cocoon or to force you to eat, but if all I leave this world with is an amazing son who will grow up to be just as wonderful as his daddy and to know that you are continuing to find your own happiness and become a stronger Kuon Hizuri, that's really all that I can ask for."

Kyoko looked over at their son who was happily playing with a toy bunny. "Kou," she said as she reached out for him and the little boy ran over. Kuon gently picked Kou up and set him down so Kyoko could hold him on her lap.

"Kou," she said as she kissed his forehead, "Can I tell you about the fairy kingdom?" she asked as Kuon took a few steps back. As hard as it was to hear this, this was the decision that Kyoko had made for her son.

"Yeah," Kou said with such a sweet smile as he cuddled to his mother.

"Well, when people are very very sick, sometimes they will go to the magical fairy kingdom and the fairies will make them better. However, the people who go there only live on in the hearts of those that love them. The fairies are very skilled at helping life bloom, but the way that a sick person comes back is very different. I want you to promise me that you'll look out for those fairies and their magic," she said to the confused little boy.

"Otay mommy" Kou nodded before looking at his Daddy.

"He'll understand it a little easier when he's older and I have the video recording," Kuon commented as Kou couldn't wrap his mind around what she was saying. "Kou, why don't you bring mommy the picture you colored of her," he said as Kou hopped off after another hug.

"Kuon…" Kyoko said slowly.

"I don't think he understands right now," Kuon replied, "but I promise to tell him whatever you want me to. I promise to repeat it to him as many times as you'd like and to show him the video recording. I promise that every day will include at least," he bit down on his top lip to try to avoid any tears, "at least one story about your beauty, your magic, and all the things that make you such a wonderful mother, an inspiring wife, and the best person, the only person who has made my life complete."

"Kuon," Kyoko said as she reached out for him, "I want you to be…"

"It's alright," Kuon nodded. "I'm okay and if I'm not okay right now I'll make sure I am in the future. Thank you, Kyoko," he said before standing up as Kou ran towards his mother. He had to find some way of hiding the sadness on his face. He had to find some way that nobody would see how much his heart was breaking and he felt that he would die from his heart shattering into a thousand pieces.

….

….

It had happened so suddenly and unexpectedly. One moment, the five of the Hizuris was having dinner and Kyoko had just taken her medication, and then she had found herself on the floor unable to breathe. Her body had gone cold and she felt bright lights shine all around her as if she was on a stage.

Somehow it felt that she was on another plane of existence and she swore that she could see fairies. She couldn't breathe and for a short time it hurt before…it didn't. Nothing hurt any longer, there was no fear or pain or anything, just bright lights and the fairies soft giggles and then.

"We're losing her!" Kyoko could hear the voice of a doctor and she felt as if she was no longer in her body. She felt that she could see blood around her, doctors with all their equipment and the heart monitor. 

It was then that she caught onto a pair of emerald green eyes that showed so much fear and pain and lack of hope. Those green eyes were enough to tell her exactly what was going on. The longing for her to just hold on, for her to breathe, for her to not go away from him.

"Kuon," she whispered and felt both of his hands around her own, "Thank you…for te-teaching..me to fly. I lo-love you."

She reached out for his lips and felt the warm and passionate kiss before nothing. It all went white.

….

….

Kuon couldn't breathe as he stared at his wife. He didn't know what had happened, one moment she was doing okay and they were discussing going to the hospital the next day and then she had collapsed with a glass of water beside her. He had heard the crash and he had felt everything inside of him begging that she would be alright.

They had to have more time than that. Now, she had kissed him after saying such sweet words to him and the doctors were reacting to the final beep on the heart monitor.

It all seemed like a dark blur was going around the room, as if he was stuck in a tornado and was watching the world he knew ripped away from him. Closing his eyes, Kuon could hear the words that continuously haunted him, however changed slightly.

' _You murderer! If it wasn't for you, Kyoko would still be alive.'_

Standing on very shaky legs, Kuon tried to reach out for his wife's pulse only to find that his hand was being restrained. He looked down. Had he snapped? Were they really worried about him hurting his dead wife? If they were worried than that meant this was a dream right? This wasn't really happening.

"I need…" he struggled as he felt himself unable to keep standing. "I need my wife."

"I am so sorry," a nurse said as she looked at the crumpled mess of a man. "Hizuri-san, your wife just passed away. We need you to leave this room right now."

Kuon shook his head as he heard that, his eyes unable to look away from the gorgeous woman he had lost. The woman that he had been responsible for the world losing. Even though he was looking at her corpse, his mind was elsewhere. His ears tuning into echoes from a past that would never exist again.

 _Is everything alright, Tsuruga-san?_

 _Are you alright? Is there anything that you need, Tsuruga-san?_

 _I thought we could eat lunch together, Tsuruga-san._

 _You love me? I…I'm so happy to hear that. I hate the idea of love but not when it comes to you. I have to admit that I love you too, Tsuruga…Ren._

Kuon paused as he looked at the limp and lifeless body right before his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered unable to get out his words. "Thank you for letting me love you."


	10. Chapter 10 - It's Not Your Fault

**Author Note:** So, the next four chapters are pretty sad so I hope you can bear with me during that time. I like writing like this and really want to show the damage to Kuon because of Kyoko's death. For those who have read one of the three original copies of this story, you'll find out what happened to Kyoko in Chapter Fourteen.

Also thank you for all the followers and reviews in the past day, it means a lot to me but it means even more that you're enjoying my writing.

 **Chapter Ten – It's Not Your Fault**

Kuon stared in front of him as he sat in the president's office the day after his wife's death. It had made national news when one of the nurses had sold the story to the press. The doctors were waiting on more information about what had really occurred and whether there was foul play involved and one wise guy had suggested studying the medication that she was on. Kuon felt exasperated that the plan he had had months ago had only been implemented when it was useless to find out.

He had been unable to shave this morning, unable to really shower and tame his hair. The whole world felt numb around him and he kept wishing that this was all a hoax. He didn't have hope that this was all part of some insanity that the president had cooked up, but he wished it was. He wished that somehow Kyoko would be said to be alive and that she would walk right in, flick him on the head, call him an idiot.

Maybe he had gotten into a coma and this was all a really bad nightmare.

It could have happened, right before the award ceremony, he might have been in a car accident and none of this was real.

…It sure felt extremely real…

"So," Lory broke the silence as he picked up his cup of tea and took a sip. He gestured to the tea that had been set down for Kuon, but the guy wasn't even able to notice it. Lory waited a little for Kuon to make some type of reaction to that, but when the blond didn't even look up at him, Lory coughed again. "So, Kuon," he tried.

He sighed as Kuon still was attempting to figure things out in his head.

"You know," Lory sighed as he placed the tea down and Kuon finally glanced up at him and how he was dressed in formal black clothing…despite a random old fashioned hat that had a fake crow on it. "You do know that she…"

"Is dead?" Kuon completed for the president as he raised an eyebrow, "Is that what you were going to say? That my wife," he put a hand around his middle as he broke again. He didn't want to repeat those words. He couldn't breathe any longer. He hadn't been able to save her. If he had just fought harder or acted earlier, then she might still be with them.

"I can't tell you that that isn't true, Kuon" Lory replied. "I just know that she was happy in her final days. She was happy to be with you and your son."

Kuon looked away, he took a deep breath in and then let the tears he had stubbornly been trying to hold back wash freely down his face. He felt sick. He didn't know if he could go on, but she had wanted him to. She had asked him so many times to continue, to fall down now and refuse to get up would be working against her wishes.

Maybe fairy land was real, maybe that's where she was. Maybe heaven could be real too and she was safe and happy and warm with all the comforts imaginable. He tried to imagine things that she would love, the Kyokoland that she sometimes went to. If she was safe there then he might be able to get through this alone.

"It's alright to cry," Lory said as he watched the twenty-seven-year-old he loved like his own son or grandson. "Kuon, nobody is blaming you for this. People get sick and sometimes they unfortunately can't get better. Kyoko wouldn't want you blaming yourself for all of this."

"Well," Kuon bit back, "She's not here."

Lory hummed, "Well, if she was here then she would be really upset that you are thinking that you are the one to blame. She loved you so much. You were one of the two most important people in her life and you stayed with her. Do you know that she once confessed to me that she was scared you would get bored of her or that she was too plain or too junior an actor for you to be truly happy with her despite her being so happy to be with you? Those aren't the words of someone who would blame another for their death."

"I promised on our wedding day that I would take care of her and keep her safe, those aren't the words of someone whose wife passes away when she's in her early twenties," Kuon argued before taking a deep breath in. "You know why I'm here," Kuon whispered, "Can we please just get it over with?"

Lory froze before nodding, "and here I was thinking that you were finally trusting me when it came to you dealing with your emotions," he replied before getting out the paperwork that a loved one signed when an actor passed away. They were all business papers and ones that Lory didn't want to deal with, but this man in front of him was responsible and mature and though he could tell Kuon wanted to take a high dive of the highest diving board, he would tie up the loose ends first.

"There," Kuon said as he signed the last one. "I'm sorry, I have to get home. I have to get back to our son," he said as he threw the pen onto the table. He took shaky breaths as he rose to his feet. "Do you know it would have been her birthday in only a few months. I was already trying to make plans for it. I guess there's no point in that."

Lory took a deep breath in and chose to say the words which might make the man in front of him crash down into despair, "Why don't you try to give her the best funeral or memorial service possible?" he asked. "That way you'll be able to say goodbye properly," he frowned as he saw the heavy shakes in Kuon's body which were evidence of his deep depression.

Kuon tried to smile though even the simplest acting techniques weren't helping him, "Sure," he nodded before leaving the office.

….

….

As he got to the bottom floor of the agency, Kuon tried to avoid eye contact with everyone in the elevator. He couldn't talk to them despite how they wanted to sympathize with him or talk about their condolences. He didn't want to see the people around him anymore, he didn't want to have to pretend to be strong or even that he was surviving, this didn't feel like surviving to him.

He was surprised to see a man opposite the elevator waiting for him. Maybe he should have gotten off at the second floor.

"Hey," Kuu said as he came closer to his son, "Everything go okay in there?" he asked with a gentle and loving hand on Kuon's shoulder. "I would have come up there with you, I would have driven you here, boss wouldn't have minded."

Kuon closed his eyes, "I think I might have minded," he said honestly. "Yes, everything is taken care of," he said as his breaths faltered and he felt that even his own body was choking him. He deserved it. He had been the cause of Kyoko not getting better. He was only being naturally punished for the crimes of his youth. He wasn't allowed to treasure anyone like that. He was never supposed to have a Kyoko.

Kuu sighed and put his hands to Kuon's cheeks, making certain that the two of them had eye contact. "Kuon, this is _not_ your fault. Listen to me, this is _not_ your fault," he repeated before seeing his son crumble and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"Dad…I…" Kuon whispered as he closed his eyes and let his father try to comfort him.

As he closed his eyes however, he heard the same words that would always come when he was alone and vulnerable. _You murderer. If it wasn't for you Kyoko would still be alive._

Kuon shivered but felt Kuu pull him in closer. "It's okay," the older actor said trying to avoid the quick glances that the two of them were getting from passersby. "It's okay. You don't have to be strong all of the time, Kuon," he told him. "I'm here. Your mother's here. Let us be your strength for a while."

Kuon nodded not sure what else to do. He pointed to the exit that the stars left from, "We should probably go and get the car and leave," he commented, his eyes red and the dark bags underneath them evidence of his complete exhaustion.

"Sure, but let me drive this time," Kuu said as he put his hand on the back of Kuon's neck to try to comfort him. "Are you alright with leaving? We could sit down or get you something to drink if needed."

"I'd prefer if we just…went home, I need to see Kou," Kuon said as Kuu nodded and they went to the car together.

….

….

Once they arrived, both men were shocked to see that a blond singer was standing there. Kyoko was right, Shou Fuwa would always show up in the worst places at exactly the worst time. Despite having to deal with him for years (save a short break when they lived in the US), Kuon did not know how to handle this situation.

He was glad when Shou spoke up first. Reacting was always easier than making the first move with these types of people. "So, here comes the murderer," Shou called out as Kuon got to his Porsche. He was surprised that Shou hadn't keyed his car, that might have even made him feel better. "You know, if she hadn't been with you then she wouldn't have died."

Kuu was about to argue and say something insulting, but Kuon cut him off before he could do so.

"You're right, Fuwa," he said with a weak nod. "Thank you for saying that, nobody else has confirmed that to me, but I'm glad there is someone else who agrees with me." Shou raised an eyebrow as he obviously wasn't expecting Kuon to say that.

"You know, you only got with her because of your famous dad," he said pointing at Kuu but before his father could say a word, Kuon had put a hand up to gesture him not to.

"She fell in love with Ren Tsuruga who didn't have any family," Kuon said. "So, that claim is untrue, but you're right, she most likely wouldn't have died had she not married me. I don't think she would have ever forgiven you enough to marry you, though I'm glad that she did forgive you. You never deserved it, but that was the beautiful person that Kyoko was," Kuon said as he looked down.

He had never come to a place where he could accept Shou for hurting his wife so badly, but he had accepted that Kyoko had times when she did want to talk to him and that she had forgiven him. It must have been stupid to keep a grudge against this guy when Kyoko had said she was too loved and supported by Kuon to do so.

That was the dark person he was, that was the person who had led Kyoko to her death.

"Still, you selfishly crushed her. Stole all of the oxygen out of her lungs," Shou pointed. "You are the one who deserved to get sick, you are the one who deserved to die! Now you'll be nothing to anyone, your life is completely insignificant."

This time Kuon was about to speak when Kuu was the one to interrupt him.

"That's enough." Kuu said with a dark fire burning in his eyes. "You have absolutely no right to talk about my daughter that way or to talk to my son like this. They loved each other in a way that I'm doubtful you will _ever_ be loved by somebody. If you can't respect the fact that my child is in grief, then you don't have a worthy bone in your body. I can tell why my daughter hated you so much and I can definitely reflect on the good person she was to forgive you. Now, if you don't want a lawsuit or media fire on your hands, you will step away from this car and never again come near my family. Don't pretend you don't know about the power of the Hizuri family."

Kuon looked at his father with his mouth dropping a little. He was surprised to see Shou walking away and then felt his father's arm wrap around his shoulders.

"It's not your fault and I'm not going to let anyone tell you that it is," Kuu commented. "Now let's get you home and find something that we can do with Kou together."


	11. Chapter 11 - Wandering in a Fog

**Author Note:** I've decided to step back and take a little time with just thinking about my other work. I might even start writing a longer novel or novella of my own creation. I just feel that a lot of things are going wrong in my life right now starting with my school closing and me spilling wine all over my computer keyboard, that it's nice to just write something where I can let my emotions create depth in words than continue to feel overcome with them. 

Well, I apologize for such a dark author note. Hope you enjoy 😊

 **Chapter Eleven – Wandering in a Fog**

Kyoko Hizuri had been declared dead eighty seven hours and fourteen minutes ago. That meant that it had been just over three and a half days that Kuon Hizuri had been without his soul mate. At exactly this hour and exactly this minute, one would be able to describe the famous actor as looking as if he had lost his soul.

Nobody could be sure of the reason why he had come into the LME agency with his hair wet from a bath, his clothes slapped on without regard to whether they actually went, and his eyes showing that he still didn't get any sleep. As she sat in the LME corridor trying to avoid talking to another one of the young actors, Maria Takarda watched her close friend and big brother figure.

She frowned bitterly as a group of two foolish actresses that Kuon had worked with before came over to him. God help her, if those stupid females started flirting…

"Hizuri-san," one of the girls asked, "Are you alright? You don't look well, do you want a ride home?"

Kuon blinked as he stared at her. Was this woman even real? Why were they coming up to him like this? He didn't really understand much about where he was, he had no idea why these actresses that he had only worked with professionally would be invading his personal space. "What? No, I'm fine. Sorry, I…sorry" he apologized weakly. Maria frowned as she shot a glare at the girls, Kuon had lost all composure.

Standing up she picked up her Gothic Lolita style bag in the shape of a cross and her black parasol and made her way over to the group. "You ladies should be ashamed of yourself," she smiled to them. She spoke in a very pleasant manner and managed to use all her charm to look sweet and innocent whilst cutting into them with her cold words. "Still, judging on what your wearing and the parts that I've seen you play, you are quite desperate enough to see that my very good friend here is suffering and want to take advantage of that."

The women turned to her and then backed away with apologies as Maria watched Kuon look towards the window. She quickly turned to look outside as well, but after standing there a few moments she looked back at the man she had once had a crush over. "Hey," she said with a concerned glance. "You doing okay in there, bro?" she asked as Kuon laughed weakly.

"I don't know if I'll ever be okay, I'm not even sure where I am or why I came…" Kuon trailed off as he looked outside at the changing leaves.

"You know, maybe we're all on some alien spaceship and this is the construct of reality that they want us to see," the teenage girl proposed, "I mean, there are enough weird things that happen in this world, Kuon. You never know where you are," she wanted to see him smile.

"I like that," Kuon smiled as Maria felt a little bit of the heaviness in her own heart leave. "Yeah," he chuckled again, "You really never know where you are or what you're doing there."

Maria sighed before looking down, she hated to ask her friend this especially with how close the three of them had been, but she didn't want to not approach the subject and leave him alone when he needed help. "Kuon, big brother," she said as he looked at her trying hard not to break. "Did you get my text messages?" she asked as Kuon took a deep breath and nodded. "Did you want help with the fune-"

"It's a really nice day outside today," Kuon said with one of the patented Ren Tsuruga gentleman smiles, "It's a shame that you're not out enjoying it. Thanks for saving me from those actresses, it's good to know there are people watching out for me, but I have to meet up with someone."

Maria sighed and closed her eyes as he walked away. "I am sorry big sis," she whispered, "I really am trying to help him."

….

….

As Kuon approached the office that Yashiro was working out of, he was glad that the man was already waiting for him. Yashiro was an extremely valuable manager and employee to the large agency, but even he didn't have a completely separate office from everyone else, there had been discussions about him becoming a manager of a department after one of the others stepped down, but he was mainly the one who worked with anything 'Hizuri' especially when it came to Kuon.

Of course Kyoko had worked with her own manager, but Yashiro still got all the private information first.

"Hey," Kuon said with a weak look in his eyes. "Thanks for agr-"

Yashiro shook his head and gave Kuon a look which was warning him not to apologize to him. "Of course. I just wish that things weren't…." he paused as he saw Kuon drifting off into space and looking like a human version of American Beauty's plastic bag. "I'm really very sorry about everything," he said honestly and Kuon nodded.

"Thank you," the actor said before looking away. "So, I'm not up for eating very much, but I know that Kyoko would like us to just get something," he said as he concentrated more on Yashiro's shoes than his face.

The manager shook his head and put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Were you ever?" he asked.

Kuon shook his head with a weak laugh before feeling his body crumble under the weight of such huge emotions. He laughed weakly as the tears filled his eyes again. "I…" he said as Yashiro shook his head.

"Let's go get something to drink, okay? I'll pay," he suggested as Kuon nodded.

Maybe if they could go to a bar, the nice and exclusive celebrity bar, then things might be okay. They could even go to the dark restaurant in Shibuya where they could get the booth in the very corner of the restaurant that the general public might comment on being a place where the yakuza hid. Or they could even go to one of the even more private restaurants and get a private room, although there he might have to eat more.

"We can go there, but you don't need to pay," Kuon said as he looked away. "Or maybe a meal might be better," he said as Yashiro looked at him surprised but nodded. Kuon could only guess that he was surprised over him wanting to eat that much food. No, he didn't _want_ to eat the food, but he did want to give himself the energy that he needed to be there for Kou.

"I think I know the perfect place," Yashiro said before walking down the hallway with the bereaved blond.

….

….

As they sat in the restaurant, Yashiro was trying to hide his shock as well as his happiness when Kuon ordered a proper meal. This felt like when they would have a guys night before Kuon went over to the US. Yashiro had even visited them quite a few times when they lived in California and he would always ask for at least one night for him and Kuon to spend time together. It was their bro-bonding time as all the Americans seemed to have said.

"So," Kuon said as he looked up at his friend with somewhat lifeless eyes, "I'm not going back into acting for at least a few months. I…if you need…"

"I've already talked to the president about this," Yashiro nodded, "I am prepared to work in the office filing and checking over paperwork for as long as two years or more if need be. I don't want to see you pushing yourself to work until at least January," Yashiro said firmly as he picked up his drink.

Kuon froze before looking down, "Thank you," he said weakly, "but if you'd be happier being manager to someone else."

Yashiro hummed, "You know, there was a part on the contract that I could change," he said as he saw Kuon's smile fade a little. "So, is three years enough or should I make it four?"

Kuon closed her eyes and felt himself laugh weakly, it felt painful to do so and in his heart it was as if he was dancing atop of Kyoko's grave or at least where he had chosen to bury her. He shouldn't allow himself to be happy. He had tried to be happy once and he had met Kyoko and now this…no, it was better if he just did what was right for Kou.

"I think a year might be enough time," Kuon replied sadly. "It's not only me it depends on. I have to make sure how my son is doing at that time as well."

Yashiro smiled softly, "You do. I won't let anything happen to my godson," he pointed at Kuon who rolled his eyes.

"You do know that we didn't baptize him, don't you? You're just the third guardian in line," he said as he thought about the plans for Kou if he died. If Kou lost both his mother and his father then the plan was that he was to be raised by Kuu and Julie. It seemed the best thing for him and Julie had told him that she would let nobody else ever think of raising her grandchild.

Kyoko had cried over that conversation, the two were in agreement that Saena was not an appropriate guardian, but the way that his parents overreacted compared to the absence of hers must have been hard to witness.

"I still won't let anything happen to him. I am going to be there for the two of you and you know how I get when you try to lie to me and deceive me, Kuon," Yashiro said as he thought about the last years with this man in front of him.

There was a sudden noise behind the closed door as a couple of the waitresses tried to stop a woman who…

Kuon looked up wide eyed as the door opened and he saw a very angry Kanae Kotonami standing there. He blinked, unsure what to do and looked at Yashiro who was having the same response.

"You," Kanae said as she directed a finger at Kuon, "You, I need to talk with you outside."

Kuon shot a quick look towards Yashiro who nodded and allowed him to leave, promising to make sure everything was okay in the private room. When they had gone to the private area of the restaurant that was usually for staff only, Kuon watched the brunette pacing back and forth. "Kanae?" he asked.

"Can you please just be quiet for a bit!" Kanae snapped at him as Kuon paused, taken aback by how his wife's best friend found it acceptable to snap at a new widower. Inside Kuon had to admit he felt in awe of watching her confidence and guts. "My best friend is dead. Your wife is dead and…"

"I know," Kuon nodded, "I ki-"

"Are you an idiot!?" Kanae snapped at him, "Kyoko isn't dead because of you, but she's not even completely dead. I need you to listen to me and act responsibly so that she stays alive," she said. When she noticed Kuon physically draw in and wrap an arm around herself, Kanae panted again.

"Okay, sure, so….ugh, mo" Kanae said as she looked up. She weakly laughed but mainly from the stress and exhaustion. "This…I don't know if the fact that the two of you are so similar is making this harder or easier to say, but I need to talk to the part of you, whatever part that is that is most like Tsuruga Ren."

Kuon blinked and looked at the actress carefully. He wasn't sure where she was going to take this discussion, "and why is that?" he asked.

"Because Kyoko was an amazing actress, she was also such a kind and generous and thankful person. Kyoko allowed me to see a path where even I could go forward and follow my dreams. She always said she was in awe of my talent but really it was her that I was in awe of. My best friend who I love dearly is gone and I hurt. I get up every morning and it hurts knowing I'll never see her again," she looked at him trying to stop the tears from falling but even she wasn't that good an actress. "I know, Kuon, that you feel the exact same way."

"I know," Kuon nodded, "and I'm sorry and…"

"You need to learn how to conduct yourself better in public," Kanae continued, "You and your son are what the world sees when they think about her death, you are the face of Kyoko Hizuri's life. I mean of course her face is her own, but those are all from the past. All the new footage is of the two of you and you need to be able to represent her memory. I swear that I will hunt you down and use all my resources to punish you if you screw this up for her and the first thing you have to do is give her a funeral that her fans want to see, that the press want to see, that she'd want to see."

Kuon took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright," he said weakly. "I appreciate you telling me that," he told her honestly as Kanae smiled though looked in pain.

There was such an understanding in their eyes of how much they both adored Kyoko Hizuri.


	12. Chapter 12 - Root Causes

**Author Note:** From today through Monday, I'm scheduled at work for about thirty-six hours not including lunch breaks so I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write chapters for this fic. I hope in that case that you enjoy what I am able to write.

 **Chapter Twelve – Root Causes**

That night, Kuon had sat with his hand gripping the phone as he waited for his young friend to pick up. He had just told Kou a story about when Kyoko had taken care of him when he was sick and the little boy had fallen asleep. Due to what Kanae had said to him outside that restaurant, Kuon had promised himself that as soon as Kou was asleep he would make a phone call.

"Hello," the recipient of the call smiled as she picked up, "This is Maria. Kuon, is this you?"

"Yeah," Kuon said weakly, "Maria, I hope it's alright that I've called."

"Of course, big brother," Maria nodded trying to sound happy despite how much she personally missed her big sister. "You're always welcome to call me. What can I help you with?"

Kuon took a deep breath in, he was almost going to choke on the words. "Can you help me plan the funeral? Do you have a little time tomo-tomorrow?" he asked with his body shaking over the mere thought of having to say goodbye to the woman he loved, the woman who had made his world complete.

"Of course, I'll come over after school if that time works for you," Maria said quickly and Kuon nodded with a weak smile before realizing she wouldn't be able to detect that.

"That works perfectly, thank you," he told her. "Have a good night, Maria"

"Thanks, Kuon. I hope you can get some sleep as well," Maria told him as she ended the phone call and felt a sense of relief rush through her.

On the other end of the line, Kuon carefully placed the phone down on the bedside table and stared longingly at the empty space beside him in the bed. Feeling himself break, he allowed the tears to fall and his entire body to shake. He knew he should change the sheets and wash the pillowcases but it felt too soon.

Less than a week ago, his wife had slept here. In the middle of the night when one of them had felt anxious about anything, they would reach out and the other one would take their hand and hold it to show that there was some connection to love and safety and protection. Well, Kuon Hizuri had only given his wife the love, he hadn't been able to save her from the inevitable.

Kuon blinked as he heard a knock on the door, "Hey, you can come in" he called out, his voice weak and his emotions on the surface unable to be buried at this point.

He nodded as he saw his father there. Well, it was really a 50-50 chance on who it would be since Kou would just push it open and come in and Kuon was pretty sure he was still in his bed. Kuon looked at the spot in the bed and felt his body break. "I just keep having this feeling, dad, that she's still alive. It's like there's always been this silent and probably impossible connection to her and I don't think she's dead." He laughed bitterly and hung his head, "I'm an idiot. I _saw_ her die, I was the last person on her mind."

"Kuon," Kuu said slowly, "Can I discuss something with you?" he asked.

Kuon sighed and stood up from the bed, he pointed outside to the balcony. "Can we go out there? I always feel better about discussing these things outside…in America it was better though, less people around."

Kuu nodded as he went to the balcony with Kuon and sat down in one of the chairs by a small table they had put out there. "How are you feeling?"

Kuon gave a heavy exhale as he sat down, "What kind of a question is that?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "I don't even….obviously not good. I'm scared that I'm going to turn out to be a terrible father, my own wife is dead and I failed her, and if you haven't realized this is the second time that someone died because of me."

Kuu sighed, "Can you please at least try not to blame yourself. I know that when you were fifteen you didn't feel that you could share any of the blame with anyone, but you've changed, you've grown up and unless you brought a tank full of the virus that killed her into your home, you did nothing wrong."

Kuon shook his head and felt his entire body crumble within. "Dad, if I hadn't have been there, then she would never have died," he tried to argue. "I don't even know what she died of. They should be finished with the lab results soon."

"Maybe they'll find the answer," Kuu said very weakly before standing up and looking out at Tokyo. "Kuon, did I ever tell you about my greatest role?" he asked as Kuon laughed bitterly.

"Not really in the mood to talk about acting here, dad, and if you're using this as a trick to find out who the better Katsuki was," he rolled his eyes but saw his father shake his head.

"I was offered the role in May twenty-eight years ago. I didn't know whether I would be any good at it but I had to take it. It was a dream offer, an offer of a lifetime and an offer _of_ a life." Kuu looked around. "It took around nine months for that role to open and for me to act in it. During that whole time I was scared that I would mess it up and if I messed it up that there would be plenty of NGs following me around my whole life. I did make some of those NGs but I got reoffered the role more recently,"

Kuon looked down, "and you're saying that you want to go back to America?" he asked despite the fact that if he had had more sleep he would have figured it out.

"On February 10th next year, I will have had that role, the most important role of my life for twenty-eight years," he said. "Even if some of that time, I was unable to act properly on the main stage. The fact that I was able to be a father, that I had such an amazing son that I loved unconditionally with every part of my heart and my soul. That is my best role ever," he said as he sat down.

"I don't see a murderer when I look at you, Kuon. I don't see a bad father or a bad husband either. I know that if there was anything at all that you could have done for Kyoko, if there was any way you could have stopped what happened with Rick, you would have done. Do you feel that you killed them on purpose," he said as he saw Kuon about to shatter again.

"No," he finally whispered, "If I could have saved them…" he trailed off and Kuu nodded as he reached out to put a hand on his child's shoulder.

"That's just it, if you could have saved them you would have because you loved and cared about each of them. Now, I know I have very little right to ask this of you whilst you're in mourning, but I'd really like to keep my most important role. I need to know that I can, that that little baby I held in my arms on February 10th twenty-eight years ago isn't going to become ash," he said bluntly.

Kuon looked down. "I promise," he nodded, "Don't worry. Even if I find it pointless to live for myself right now, I've experienced that role myself. I might have only had it for a shorter time, but that little boy is _my_ own son. I would never leave him an orphan by choice. Just, I might need some help for a while."

Kuu smiled and nodded, "Your mother will be thrilled not to have to pack," he said as he tilted his head to the side. "Do you think you're going to be alright?"

Kuon nodded, "Eventually."

….

….

Maria was surprised that Kuon hadn't decided to take Kyoko's body down to Kyoto where they had first met. The meeting between the young six year old girl and the ten year old fairy prince was a tale that Kyoko had told a lot and had even been in a few magazines during interviews. However, when Kuon had explained that he had picked the best cemetery that was closest to LME, Maria had understood that.

She had been surprised when Kuon had also reserved the plot next to her grave, but it made sense. She knew that her big brother wasn't going to marry anyone else. She knew that despite the possibility of him having half a century of his life left, he would stay a widower and loyal to the woman he loved. It only made sense for him to rest beside her years later.

That was why they had to make the best funeral possible.

It was a long time to wait and Kyoko wasn't the best at being patient. Sure, for a while, the actress could remain still and think calmly but then her calm thoughts would generate hundreds more questions. Maria remembered a time when Kyoko had gone to the airport to meet Kuon two hours earlier than she had originally planned because she had missed him so much.

So, that was why the two of them were looking over a large picture that Maria had sketched of where the funeral ceremony was going to be held.

Kuon looked at her with warm and attentive eyes before pointing. "Maria, I have no problem with the fairy lights at the top of the trees, but I do object to using tinsel to wrap around the trees. I don't think that's really the feel that Kyoko would want."

Maria hummed, "I see your point, but I think that big sis would want some kind of magic. Maybe those are too fluffy, kind of overdoing it in a way," she said. "Besides, even if big sis was born on Christmas, it shouldn't look too much _like_ Christmas."

Kuon sighed as he looked at the trees, "How about we put flowers around them?" he asked as Maria's eyes lit up.

"That's perfect" she nodded, "Big sis loved flowers so I'm sure she would have stood there saying how beautiful it all was. Now I've already put a rush on the memorial programs and I do think your obituary was beautiful," she said as she reached out for his hand.

Kuon nodded, this was really hard to sit here and plan it, but he wanted to celebrate Kyoko's life and the things that she loved instead of show the doom and gloom that came with losing her. He looked down, "So, we have the coffin with the fairy etching," he tried to say calmly, "we have the photographs and the flowers, I have my speech, and Kanae is going to pick out the clothes," he said before wrapping his arms around himself and letting himself crumble for a moment.

Maria paused and then wrapped her arms around the broken man, "I'm sorry," she apologized. "We should take a break, let's take a break, this is really hard for me too."

Kuon sat there for a few moments with Maria holding him before hearing his phone ring. Maria shook his head, trying to encourage him not to answer it, but stopped when she saw it was Kanae calling him. Kuon stood and took the call, his legs shaking as he stood.

"Hey, Kanae, is everything -"

"Those stupid idiots…" Kanae said as she sounded angry enough to cause something physical damage. "They botched it. They cremated the body despite knowing we were burying her," Kuon's eyes snapped open as he felt his heart break. This was _not_ what he planned and it definitely wasn't what he had promised his wife.

"This isn't a joke, is it?" he paled as he heard Kanae crying, that was enough to tell him that she was being honest. "Tell them that I'm burying her in the coffin anyway. In any form," he said in a strong and authoritative tone. "I promised her that I'd bury her. Also, if you could do a favor for me, Kanae, let them know that I'm bringing a lawsuit to them."

Kanae tried to steady her breaths, "If this wasn't such a serious situation that involved my best friend's last wishes, I'd make a comment on how you Americans always think litigation will solve everything," she said bitterly. "There's another thing as well, but I'm not sure you'd want to know…these _doctors_ certainly weren't going to tell you."

Kuon waited a moment, unsure if he wanted to really hear what would come next. However, he felt that he should for Kyoko's sake.

"Go ahead, Kanae" he said as his fingers clenched tighter around his phone.

"The medication was making her sick, the doctors obviously didn't know what they were doing when they prescribed it to her," she said although both of them wondered whether there was somebody who actually wanted to kill Kyoko. "There was an addictive substance in there as well. That's why she never wanted to test them or get off of them, they drugged her and _they_ murdered her."

"And the so called specialist!?" Kuon growled down the phone much louder than he would have wanted to.

"I wanted to murder the guy myself, but the house was burned down and the name was false. We should have done more research on this," she said as Kuon felt the anger almost overwhelm him. When the call ended he tossed the phone onto the sofa as the rage filled his body.

He should have protested more about those pills.

What kind of a heartless jerk and total idiot was he? If he had stopped her from taking them then none of this would ever have happened.


	13. Chapter 13 - It's Only Goodbye For Now

**Author Note:** Hope you guys enjoy this chapter 😊 Hope you guys are having an awesome day and thank you for reading.

… **and action…**

"Kuon-san," a nurse said as she approached the angry blond who wasn't sure who he was supposed to talk to, but he had to get his anger out somehow. Only a few hours ago had Kanae called him to tell him that his wife's body had been charred to ashes when he had wanted to fill her request of burial. She froze as she saw that angry look in his eyes. "Hizuri-san," she squeaked, "He can see you now."

"Thank you," Kuon said as he tried to adopt the gentleman smile but his eyes were still terrifyingly cold. Although Kuon knew that this wasn't her fault, he was struggling to control his anger. He followed the nurse to where the mortician was.

"Hizuri-san," a young doctor said as he got to his feet, "How can I?"

"Could I have some privacy over this matter?" Kuon asked quietly to the nurse as she nodded nervously and left. Kuon stood there with his anger filling his body but he knew well enough not to yell or get physical. "Are you an idiot?" he asked with his cold expression, "Do you not know how to do your job? I just want to let you know that I'm not done with what you did to my wife. That very disrespectful thing you did. However, I'll be willing to...consider the request I'm planning to put in over your termination if you tell me what you know about the drugs that killed her."

"Aren't you supposed to be a sweetheart?" the doctor asked, "Very calm and mature."

Kuon chuckled to himself as he bowed his head, "You have no idea. It seems that you're confusing Kuon Hizuri for someone else, Ren Tsuruga most likely. Well, you'll be able to see the side of me that is _nothing_ like that man the media went crazy about." Kuon rubbed his fist and stared at the doctor with a slightly broken smile, "I need the answers _now_."

 **Chapter Thirteen – It's only goodbye for now**

This was definitely looking like a fairytale funeral of a Disney princess. There were flowers everywhere. Small lights decorated the trees and were hung in the branches. Everything was elegant and beautifully presented. There was a lace blanket under where the coffin was and there were so many people stretching over the funeral grounds. Kuon had wanted a smaller funeral, but his wife was so loved.

Next thing he had to do was stand up and talk about his wife, the woman who had the misfortune of having been his wife, and talk about how she would never be forgotten. He was feeling at a loss of how to do that. He was an actor and yet he was unsure of how to explain how amazing his wife, the love of his life, was.

"Kuon," Kuu said as the blond looked down. Yashiro was also gazing at him as if asking if he needed help and Lory had his eyes closed and hand on Kuon's shoulder from behind.

"Embrace the actor in you," the president said which Kuon understood.

Despite the words coming from his heart, he had to make a presentation of this. Ren Tsuruga could probably say these words no problem, but as for him, he felt they would completely crush Kuon Hizuri. It was very strange to think of himself as multiple people.

"Okay," he nodded before passing Kou to Julie and getting to the stage.

This was the worst he had ever felt speaking in front of an audience. His body looked similar to what one might imagine a real life rag doll to do so. His hair was slightly messy despite having tried to look his best for her. His posture was slumped and it looked like he might be blown away by the wind.

As he reached the podium, Kuon took a last shaky look at the coffin and closed his eyes. "First of all," he said as he tried to steady himself. "I want to thank you for coming here to support Kyoko. I don't think it's surprising to see that she touched so many people's hearts in the way she did. I know she'd be happy to see so many people, well, she might try to bow numerous times for the so called inconvenience, but that's because of how much she treasured those in her life."

Kuon looked down at the paper he was holding where he had spent hours deliberating about which words to use and which points of Kyoko's life to focus on.

"Kyoko was always thankful for the life she was given and that part of the world she carved out for herself. Whereas I wanted to say that as her husband, I was always keeping her safe and that she lived within my world, I want to believe that she just allowed me to think that and that she was adding in that magic to my own life. That's what Kyoko did. To me and so many of us, she would enter our life and bring with it some magic, some laughter, and even if we did have to part ways, I've been told that she never took it away."

"As for me," Kuon coughed as he felt the wind blow towards him and closed his eyes, pulling his coat in on him. "Without that magic that Kyoko had, without her perseverance, or open mind to accept people's apologies, well I don't think I would be in the world today as Kuon Hizuri. Kyoko is the reason that I was able to show my true self because that's who she was to each of us. With her kind and generous heart, she was able to push us to become our best. Whether she was challenging us with her impressive," Kuon laughed a little, "anger or actually able to sit and listen to us no matter what stupid or not so stupid thing that we wanted to discuss. She helped me become the man I am today. She helped me understand that Kuon Hizuri was a worthwhile human being and she helped a wren spread their wings and fly."

"Kyoko was an impressive wife and she was a loving and devoted mother to our son. She would always try and find the best ways that she could to help us learn and help us grow and I have no words to tell you how much she will be missed. I can just tell you how lucky I feel that she was part of our lives. I don't think that I will ever be able to find someone to replace her laughter, her optimism, her hardworking attitude, and her amazing magic. Kyoko once believed that I was capable of magic, but she was the one who was able to perform the magic. I hope that nobody ever forgets her, but how could we."

Kuon felt his voice shake a little as he tried hard to make it through without the tears falling. "So, my princess," he whispered, "from your fairy prince, I promise that I will do everything I can to recreate some of that magic that you showed the world. I promise to protect your memory and to raise our son to be the man you want him to be. I lo—love you pri-ncess" Kuon felt his heart break. He had to get through this, he was almost done.

"I love you, Kyoko," he whispered, "and I promise that I will continue to live a life that would make you proud to be my wife. One day soon, we'll meet again, until then thank you. I want you to rest now, my darling," he said as he looked into the sky. "Let me take care of everything until we meet again. I know you'll want me to have a lot to talk about so I'll do what I can to make up for you waiting for me."

"So, my fairy princess, my gorgeous wife, my magnificent Kyoko Hizuri, thank you and I'll be with you again. So goodbye until we meet again, my love."

Kuon took a deep breath and grabbed his handkerchief before stepping down and going over to his family. He felt his body breaking as he took his seat, but he had done it. He had offered his farewells to the woman he adored. He only hoped that he hadn't let her down in his speech.

….

….

"Do you want to sit here for a little longer?" Julie asked as she came over to her son. They had already lowered the coffin into the ground and they were going to the after service where people were discussing more about the woman they had said goodbye to. However, Kuon couldn't move from where he had sat down opposite the picture of Kyoko.

He felt his entire body was breaking and his soul was screaming out for help. He nodded, "Th-Thanks, mom" he struggled. He looked around and then smiled weakly as he saw Kuu holding a sleeping Kou. He mouthed a thank you and Kuu smiled and nodded in return. "I can't believe she's…" he said as Julie wrapped her arms around him and allowed him to cry onto her shoulder.

"You were a great husband to her," Julie said, "Do you know how much that woman loved you? She adored you. I'm sure all of those words you said about her, she would repeat about you," she said as Kuon shook his head.

"She shouldn't, but thank you for saying that."

Kuon felt his body freeze as he saw a pair of black business shoes in the grass before him and felt himself flinch at how emotional he was at that very moment. He took a deep breath in and looked up into the face of Saena Mogami. He quickly rose to his feet, though Julie held his hand out of concern for him.

"Hi, thank you for coming to-" Kuon said quickly as Saena looked around.

"I'm not sure if you ever did something that made you worthy of my daughter," Saena said before Julie glared at her. Why was she coming to him when he was unable to act like he usually would, how about the fact that he had just lost his _wife_? "However, it seems as if you made her happy. You might not have helped her follow a successful path, but it's good that she was cared for."

Kuon kept his head bowed, he didn't care how she would lash out at him. He was just very grateful that she had come to the funeral, that she had said goodbye to her child. "She would have liked knowing you came to say goodbye," Kuon said as he attempted to regain his composure.

"She was very emotional like that, wasn't she?" Saena asked. She took a deep breath in and nodded. "As much as that child put me through, I do wish I had been there for her more. I wish I had been able to see the woman you described. I hope to see good things for you and your son, Hizuri," he said as Kuon nodded and bowed again.

"I hope for you to have a good future too," he said before rising. "Again, thank you for being here. It would have meant a lot to her."

Saena nodded with a simple purse of her lips before walking away.

Julie froze, she tried to imagine herself in that place but with Kuon. She would never admit to it, but even attempting to create that image with her acting mind sent shivers down her spine. Even at his worst, her son was so important to her. She had been blind and far too busy and Kuon had always tried to deal with things himself, but he was her little boy. No. She could never be anything other than that affectionate mother that she was known to be.

"Tell me when you want to leave and we can?" she said as she wrapped her arms around her baby again.

Kuon nodded, "Soon, just give me a few more minutes," he said as he felt the world around him suffocating him.

….

….

There were three spotlights in the otherwise unlit warehouse, these gave the area a very scary image. One of the lights was over a sewer grate where a leaky pipe get dripping and these drips were the sounds that caused the twenty-three year old woman to open her eyes.

"Kuon?" she whispered before trying to move. Her hands were caught up onto the wall as were her ankles and she was wearing a hospital gown. She felt her breaths catch up in her chest.

Where the hell was she!?


	14. Chapter 14 - Inhuman Murderer

**Author Note:** Hope you enjoy, sorry for the darkness. In my third draft of this fic I didn't show much of this so I wanted to show what I could of this second part of the story. Hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Fourteen – Inhuman Murderer**

Kyoko Hizuri had absolutely no idea where she was. The last thing she remembered had been a long beep and her husband's lips and the image of him crumbling. She had thought that meant that she had died. Obviously it didn't.

Kyoko didn't know how long she had been in this dungeon, but she had learned why she had been hooked onto a wall. She was really hoping that Kuon would forgive her for cheating on him. At this point she was wearing a mens extra-large white tee and trying to figure out a way out of this cellar. She could always go through the sewer drain but she had heard some kind of noise as if a huge reptilian monster was down there.

She just wished she could use fairy power to send a message to Kuon. Her husband would tear apart walls with his bare hands and somehow manage to breathe fire and create a hellfire to protect her. More than that Kuon was quick on his feet and he was mentally agile too. The way that he could just look at a problem and solve it, the way that he had made Ren Tsuruga come alive and could do that with any role he touched. Kuon could do it. She just needed to find some way of getting him to see her.

Maybe if there was some kind of a wizard or his remaining elixir and she could come to Kuon in a dream. Maybe there was some kind of homing pigeon or maybe some hidden light she could manipulate into a code to get in contact with him.

Then again, the last thing she remembered was him seeing her 'die'. No, common sense would make it seem like she was dead.

She closed her eyes and felt her body hurt inside from the way that man had grabbed her, the way he had…forced himself upon her. It was too scary to think about. As a mother it was more than obvious that she wasn't a virgin and honestly she had lost her virginity on the night that she got engaged. She had lost it because she had asked him for it. He most likely wouldn't have proposed _that_ as well.

Kyoko's body tensed as she heard the cold chuckle of a man about twenty years her senior. She closed her eyes and attempted to tug at the metal chains holding her down. "So," he said as he came towards her. He ran his hand up her leg and then under the shirt again before putting the other hand on her cheek. "So, I'm told you like to be called princess," he said as Kyoko's eyes narrowed and she managed to break one of the chains using the force of her anger.

….

…

" _Are you sure, you're alright?" Kuon asked as he gazed down at Kyoko. His eyes were searching hers for any sense of fear or discomfort. He had already promised her that in any aspect of their relationship that he wouldn't push too hard for something or make her feel uncomfortable. This was an extremely important part of that._

" _I'm sure, Kuon," Kyoko smiled as she let her hand run through the brown hair. "You know, maybe we should wait until your blond, though those emerald eyes," she giggled since he had taken out his color contacts._

" _We can wait a little longer if you want, but you have to tell me now," Kuon leaned down and inhaled her scent, he pressed gentle kisses to her chest, "because once I start. I might not be able to stop myself."_

 _Kyoko giggled before nodding, "Well, how do you know that I'll be the weak one?" she asked as he laughed and let his hands gently slide along her body._

 _He made her feel wonderful._

….

….

"Get the hell away from me!" Kyoko snapped as she stared at the man in his mid-forties. She hadn't had a choice with the other men, but now she could try to handle herself. Making a mental note of how she was able to escape the first handcuff, she broke the second one and then reached for the man, her anger swarming around him and before she knew it, she had thrown him to the ground and was starting to snap off the ankle cuffs.

Did these people not know of the level of her perseverance or the way she could easily get out of traps like this?

"You think a couple of chains like those are going to stop me!?" she yelled. God her body hurt. The pain that those people who hurt her placed on her, the fact that she had just gotten over being sick and in a wheelchair, and now from that guy who she hoped was at least knocked half conscious.

She felt something hard and wet hit her in the back of the head and she spun around.

Okay, not only was she not in fine physical form, but she was outnumbered too. She laughed bitterly. "You've won against me," she said as she saw a couple other people in the shadows. "However, even if you are able to break me, and I don't think any of your crappy black magic will, you will feel the wrath of my husband. I doubt you guys remember Cain Heel, but I've managed to see that up close and in person and my husband is terrific. There's nobody like him."

"Of course not," a woman slightly younger than Kyoko grinned, she had short black hair in a pixie cut. "Of course I'm not looking to kill you and my cousin would have loved that story about black magic were he not gone from this world. Alas though," she said before getting out a cane and sweeping Kyoko off her feet with it – surprisingly Kyoko managed to catch herself as she fell even in her diminished capacity.

"So, you just want to rape me!?" Kyoko yelled. Yeah, she could definitely understand that if Kuon had had to go things this dark he lost himself to it. "You have no idea what my husband is capable of. You have no idea of the…"

"monster that resides within him," the girl grinned, "Well, you are smart, I'll give you that. My name is Raven," it looked like she was holding out her hand but instead petted Kyoko as a puppy despite them being the same height. "Now," Raven grinned, "Let's have you tell me why you're here."

Kyoko looked around, "I'm pretty sure this isn't hell but that's where I'm sure you're going to go," she snapped back before taking a deep breath. She had to look for clues, it was just the same as what Kuon had told her about establishing a character inside of a scene. She had to look for the clues that were around her of where things went and clicked together. There had to be a motive and a method…

"Bzzz" Raven smiled mockingly, "Sorry, Miss Mogami, time's up."

"Mrs. Hizuri," Kyoko growled with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, let's see." Raven said as she grabbed Kyoko's cheek and Kyoko felt another person shoot something into her arm. "That drug just made it so that you will not remember me telling you this, but I have no real use for you." She laughed as Kyoko stared at her arm to where the needle had been injected, "You are just the wriggling worm at the end of my line, of course…I probably don't need to fish, a wren can pick up a worm all by himself."

Kyoko felt herself woozy as she stood there but she had to stay strong, she had to make sure she didn't give them any information about her family. "You're using me to piss off my husband, aren't you?" she said as Raven gave a fake gasp.

"Wow, very very smart. I'm impressed," she giggled. "Aren't you excited though, you are my bait and at the click of my fingers you won't remember anything about this conversation."

"I'm not going to help you hurt him. My husband is strong, even if you got near him he is smart enough to outwit you and know what you're planning, he's strong enough to knock you all out before you could place a finger on him, and he is so kind and warm he-"

Kyoko hated that her body collapsed to the ground as soon as Raven clicked her fingers.

What on earth was going on here?

….

….

When Kyoko awoke she found that the handcuffs had come off and instead she was on an old mattress with the same white tee on. She felt someone kicking her with their foot and nervously looked aside. Her eyes widened as she saw a man there wearing a smoldering mask and she felt something very very hot around her.

Where on earth was she this time? It didn't seem wet this time, not like the place with the leaky pipe. It felt as if the oxygen wasn't getting into her lungs and she looked to see the man holding a burning red iron that might brand an animal.

Her eyes widened but before she knew it, she was getting held down by multiple people and the iron was on her hip. She had to try to fight against the pain but her grudges didn't even have enough strength to struggle against it. Her mind went blank as she felt the immense pain.

….

….

" _Come on," Kuon smiled as he held her hand in the hospital with a stupid grin on his face, "You're nearly there, come on, Kyoko. I know you can do it," he told her with a grin and a nod, their eyes connecting as she gave the final push._

 _Hearing the screams of the baby, she felt her body relax from the pain and tried to see. If she had known that childbirth would be that painful then she might have chosen to wait a little longer until having the child. Maybe she shouldn't have had sex before marriage._

 _Yet, seeing Kuon there with his huge smile as he held his first child was more magical than any of Corn's magic. She finally had a husband who adored her and she adored him in return. He would never tell her what she had to do or make restrictions for her life. He was even encouraging her to actively save her money and spend it on things that she wanted for herself. Now they had a baby together. She had a family and she didn't hate the love involved._

 _Even though this pain had been nearly unbearable, there was something to show for it at the other end. A happy life to come with two boys she couldn't get enough of._

….

….

Kyoko finally felt herself come back to a state where she could breathe and open her eyes. Strangely enough it felt that the incident of the 'branding' had happened a week or so ago. Somehow she was feeling very disconnected from the world. She looked down to find she had been given an orange jumpsuit as if she had entered an American prison.

There was also a mirror.

Nervously, Kyoko first looked at herself. There were bruises over her face, deep cuts, she didn't look well and she saw a laceration on her skin that might have come from a whip. She slowly took off the jumpsuit and noticed the scars, the marks, the slight burns and then she caught the branding.

On her hip, a part where Kuon had kissed her and wrapped his arms around her were the kanji for

"Inhuman" and "Murderer."

Kyoko looked at them again as her eyes filled with tears, she knew who these wounds were meant for and she knew that that person wasn't her.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "Kuon, I am…so so sorry."


	15. Chapter 15 - Memories in the Mourning

**Author Note:** Sorry for all the sadness. I've been really sad myself, but thanks to the few reviews I have received recently I've felt a bit better. I hope that people are reading this and if I could selfishly ask for you to consider reviewing I'd be grateful. I have seen that the follows and favorites have gone up so I'm grateful for that too. Well, I really hope you enjoy this.

 **Chapter Fifteen – Memories in the Mourning**

Three weeks had gone by and somehow the punishments had lessened. She had remembered earlier that she was being burned and whipped and cut more, but now they were healing the new wounds quickly. Maybe she was getting better for them, she was doing what they wanted her to do. The problem was that she didn't even know who _she_ was anymore.

She remembered that there was a name beginning with a K or maybe a C and it ended with an o sound. Maybe her name really was what mistress called her, Busakimo. It meant ugly and creepy. Perhaps that was her name, it wasn't a nice sounding name but maybe her parents weren't nice to her. That wasn't her special name though, well her special name, the one she guarded with her whole heart started with a K.

She looked down and ran her finger over the dirt on the floor spelling out the name 'K-U-O-N' she smiled. She had seen pictures of him but she didn't really remember too much. Only emotions and a few glimpses as if she were in a dream. Kuon had more power than mistress. He was stronger than mistress and his name sounded like corn.

With a quick breath in, she heard someone coming up to her cell door and quickly brushed the name away. That was a special memory that not even mistress could see. She closed her eyes and saw the man coming out of the ocean where the mermaids might play. He scowled at her before smiling. It was as if she was watching it without sound, but that image of the man with his gorgeous blond hair and emerald eyes. He made her feel safe, feel happy.

Kuon.

She wondered what kind of man he really was. All she could remember of him was him helping her or looking sad or serious or the way his emerald eyes sparkled. He looked like what a fairy would look like if it was given place in the human world. Sometimes she would even see him as a brunette. He looked very different with the brown hair.

"So," Raven smiled as she came into the cage with the woman who used to be Kyoko. "Busakimo, I brought you dinner."

The other woman stared at her 'mistress' and then at the food. The cuts of fish weren't appetizing and the bread, vegetables, and fruit seemed to be turning bad, but it was food. She nodded with a weak smile. If she was nice to this woman, called her mistress, and did as she was told then she would be safe. She just wanted to keep her memory of Mr. Kuon complete. She needed to protect him.

"Thank you," she whispered as she took the food. At least it was edible.

"So, have you had any dreams?" Raven asked, "Of getting out of here," she gestured around the cllar and the other woman took a deep breath and shook her head.

"No," she whispered, "because I am with mistress and when I am with mistress I must always be happy," she said before hearing a person laugh behind her. The former Kyoko looked up at the woman, an American. She had a cold smile on her face and she seemed about Mr. Kuon's age.

"-Are you sure you picked up the right one?-" the American laughed as she spoke in English. "—this girl can't act at all. I'm seeing right through her –"

Busakimo flinched and glanced up at the other woman. She understood the English words and she understood that they had switched from Japanese. She wasn't sure how she was so comfortable with the foreign language when she had forgotten everything else.

"—Of course I did. Would I choose the wrong person? Rick's my cousin, Tina –" Raven argued as the former Kyoko looked between them. She wasn't sure what they were talking about, the names didn't sound familiar to her, but then they weren't the name that was filling her heart and protecting her. One day maybe she would meet Kuon and thank him.

Tina frowned as she looked over the girl in front of her, "—well, don't hurt her too badly. It's her husband that I want. I want Kuon to be as dead as everyone considers Rick to be –"

The former Kyoko's eyes widened as she heard that. So, the guy who was protecting her in her heart was the man that she had married and promised her life to. He must be a very loving husband, but these women wanted him dead. She saw Raven studying her and shook her head.

"Busakimo," she scolded the woman, "Kuon Hizuri is a very bad man. He is a blood thirsty killer who harvests young women and feasts on their flesh. There is no good in him at all. He will hurt you and he will enjoy doing so. I know you remember that name, Busakimo."

The abused woman looked down. She closed her eyes, "I do not understand that name," she said even though inside her mind she was screaming. _Don't take him! Please don't take him away!_

….

….

Two weeks later and Busakimo had been tortured to the point where she couldn't breathe anymore. There was so much pain within her body, so much weakness in her heart, she was shattered. They had dyed her hair black and cut it down to her shoulders when she had first come in here. Now it was getting longer and getting coated in her own blood. She had been in here for six weeks and now her memories felt blank.

She didn't know who she was or where she was.

Even the most important person, the most important name had been taken from her but she could still see that blond hair and emerald eyes. There was that warm grin over his face as he looked at her with so much love in his eyes. Why was there no name to go with that face? What name was he missing?

All she could do was to try to give him a name, a foolish hope to keep hold of that image of him.

He was her Prince Charming.

A lot of the time she wondered about who he was and what he enjoyed doing, his connection to her, why he looked like he was in love with her. Most times those thoughts were accompanied by wondering what he was doing and where he was.

And some times, the worst times, she wondered whether or not he was even real.

….

….

"Honey, you should get yourself something to eat," Julie said as she looked in on her son. She knew that he was no longer acting and so he didn't actually have to go to events or go to work, but she wished that he got out of bed more. It wasn't that she didn't love taking care of Kou and of course Kou would come and snuggle with his Daddy from time to time, but she just wished she could see her son smile again.

"Julie, just leave him," Kuu tried to advise her.

Julie looked down and sighed before seeing the little boy rush past her, she blinked, "K-" she said but the little boy was coming over to his father and Kuon reached down, pulling the boy into his arms and bringing him to his lap.

"Daddy face fuzzy" Kou said as he reached up to touch the thick stubble that was covering his Daddy's mouth. He didn't understand that the only time when Daddy shaved his face was to follow what Kanae said and try to represent Kyoko's life. However, since he didn't leave the house much anymore, the stubble and near-beard would always come back.

"It is, isn't it?" Kuon asked with a weak smile, his eyes showing all of his pain. "Does it tickle?" he asked as he kissed Kou's cheek. The little boy laughed loudly as he hugged his father.

"Yea! Wickle" he smiled as Kuon felt slightly envious of the small boy. How could he smile so happily when his mother was gone and the person responsible for that death was falling to pieces and unable to exist anymore as a normal person.

"Well, I'll just have to kiss you more," Kuon said before kissing Kou a few times over his body.

"Daddy eat!" Kou said as he jumped down and tried to tug Kuon up from the bed. With a weak look down, Kuon forced a smile onto his face and let the boy drag him to the kitchen.

"I have to make the food too? Kou you are bossy," he teased his son before feeling his mother's arms wrap around him.

"You feeling better, baby?" Julie asked as she held him close, directing his head in towards her chest. She felt her son break as she held him and let her hand go up and down his back. "It'll be okay. It's feeling a little easier to breathe, right?" she asked as he nodded nervously.

She knew that Kuon blamed himself for Kyoko's passing, she just didn't know how to make things better. She hoped that all it took was time, that if they made sure to do it one step at a time that he would get better and pull through this period of mourning. Then again, it was possible that he would never get better.

"Kou, why don't we play with your Transformer toys?" Kuu asked as he saw the little boy run over to his toy box.

"Yea!" Kou grinned as he went to grab the toy robots so that he and his grandfather could play together. His grandfather always made fun noises when they played and it was like they were playing in a story. Kou smiled as he picked up Optimus Prime and made him fly around.

"You mind if Daddy joins too?" Kuon dared to ask as Kuu smiled to him.

"Yea!" Kou said excitedly as he handed Optimus to his dad and went to get his second favorite toy. He giggled as he looked up at his Daddy and Kuu managed to grin as he saw Kuon bond with his son. This little family was broken but they could make it and he and Julie would stay for as long as needed.

"I'll order us some food for pick up," Julie smiled before picking up her phone. She secretly took some photos and a short video of the most important men in her life. She then turned away and ordered some food, making sure to get something light for Kuon as well. She glanced at the wedding photo with Kuon grinning and his arms around an equally beaming Kyoko.

"I'll try to make sure they're okay, we miss you," she smiled to the picture before wiping a tear away from her own eye.


	16. Chapter 16 - Ueno Zoo

**Author Note:** So, I've decided that unless one of my fics gets more reviews than others that I'm going to be uploading in batches again. I've decided to rewrite my one fic: My Teacher and his Student and try to follow an outline plan rather than writing whatever I want. I hope that you enjoy my work. Because I've decided to update so many at once the updates will be slower, but I hope they are still satisfying.

 **Chapter Sixteen – Ueno Zoo**

Kuon took deep breaths as he sat on his bed a little over two months after the death of his wife. It was now the end of November and Kuon knew that the public was getting anxious for him to appear. He was even getting anxious to appear. He knew he should have packed up Kyoko's belongings a while ago but he couldn't bear to touch them and admit to himself that this wasn't a secret plot, that his wife was actually gone.

Today he had shaved, made sure that his hair was purposefully messy and had put on a white sweater and blue jeans. He really needed to make an impression on the public. They had to find out that he was coping after Kyoko. He hated wearing these brighter colors, but underneath his sweater he had a black button up, this was going to be his private symbol of how deep his mourning and grief still was.

His parents had suggested numerous things such as going out for a quiet dinner, going to see a movie, going to the park and just taking a walk.

Kuon knew that there was one place he and his son shared that would distract him enough from the fact that he would never again be able to lean across and kiss his beloved wife on the cheek. Ueno Zoo. Sure, it was a tourist trap and he wasn't expecting that everybody would leave him alone. He'd have to figure out how to say no in a kind manner to any photographs being taken with him.

He didn't want his image recorded, but it was necessary.

Taking another deep breath in, Kuon steadied himself enough to stand up and take some slow and measured steps to the bedroom door. He opened it and saw Kou at the table with a pancake in front of him. He laughed softly before looking towards the kitchen and gave a grateful smile as he saw his dad there.

Kuon came to Kou and kissed him on the top of the head. "Did Grandpa make you breakfast?" he asked with a small smile as Kou nodded.

"Yea! It yummy" Kou smiled as he looked down. "I wan mama" he said as Kuon wrapped his arms around his son.

"I do too, but just remember that she's having fun with all the fairies who took away her illness and made her feel better," Kuon told him trying to remember the request that Kyoko had made about how her death was to be handled.

Kou nodded, "I wisheded dat mama here" he said as Kuon nodded.

"I make that wish too," Kuon said. "Unfortunately, she can't, but we can still have her in our hearts. Just imagine how she would smile and act positive. Your mom was so optimistic Kou, she was so happy. We have to be happy for her, okay?"

"Yea" Kou nodded as Kuon felt sick. He wasn't really feeling happy that he was telling his son to try something that he felt unable to do himself. He let his fingers run through his son's blond hair before kissing him again. He just hoped that if his son did feel sad that he would come to him.

Kuon looked up at Kuu who had piled up a huge mountain of pancakes for himself. "You scare me, dad" he joked as he looked over the plate. "Not to disappoint that impressive stomach of yours, but you think you can spare one?" he asked anxiously.

Kuu smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'm just glad that my son is eating again," he told him.

Kuon nodded and went to the kitchen to get a plate. He felt terrible that his parents hadn't left. They had their own place now, something that Lory had set up for them. However, both of his parents loved their jobs in the US and now they were here in Japan because he was in Japan. His mother had even managed to get some modelling shoots for Japanese advertising agencies and his father had made special guest appearances in shows that Kuon considered below his skills.

It was alright for him and Kou to be living in Japan, but he felt he was hurting his parents' careers just because of his own insecurity and grief.

"Dad, are you sure you still want to be here?" Kuon asked as he managed to avoid making eye contact.

There was a moment of silence as the two of them stood in the kitchen together. Kuu was attempting to find the right words and Kuon was ashamed to make eye contact with his dad. Kuu placed a hand on Kuon's shoulder and tried to get his son to look at him by leaning forwards.

"There is no place I would rather be than in Japan with my son and grandson. Listen, Kuon, you are my little boy and I am not going to let you be alone during this time. You need to be around family. I'm not saying that I don't think you could do it alone, but I will have so much more fear if I'm _not_ here. If I went back to America right now, I would constantly be plagued with fear of not being here since I know that you kept things secret, even from Kyoko. I want to be here with my family. I'm hurting too and being here really helps," he looked at Kuon nervously. "Is it helping you?"

Kuon nodded, "Of course it is, dad, but…I already ruined one life and I can't handle ruining two more, especially the two which are my parents'. I love you and I love mom, but I don't want to take away your dreams. I don't want to make another mistake."

"Then we'll stay," Kuu smiled, "and one day, Kuon, I hope that you'll realize that you _did not_ kill Kyoko. You would never do something like that. You've grown up a lot since you were a teenager and I'm proud of you. I've always loved you and I don't want you to fall down from a time when you've loved yourself."

….

….

"Wooooow" Kou said with wide eyes as he looked up at the elephant. He stretched his arms wide and then turned to smile at his daddy. "It big," he said as Julie took a photo of him.

Kuon was glad that they had come that day as a group. He was happy to tell his son all about the different animals and though he had had people coming up to him wanting photos with him and walking away with autographs, both of his parents knew how to handle the press and if there was a very rude interviewer wanting to come for meat to get money, Kuu would make sure to guard his family.

As much as people wanted to report on the way that Kuon had broken and was attempting to piece his shattered soul together again, nobody wanted to get on the wrong side of Kuu Hizuri, a Japanese legend. It was as if they would expect the most popular actor, Kuon, to forgive them but Kuu had a much more daunting image especially with that cold glare.

"It is big, right?" he asked as he kissed his son again. "I think they like being that big. When they are in the jungle, the elephants can push over trees. They also use their trunks to do their work, they are very strong as well as very big."

"Yea," Kou nodded before feeling his Dad hug him and then waved to his grandmother as she took another picture of them making sure to get the elephant in the frame as well.

"Do you get worried you'll run out of battery?" Kuon called out weakly knowing his mother must be getting close to one hundred photographs at this point.

Julie laughed, "That's why I brought two extra battery packs with me," she smiled. "As long as we don't get to two-thousand photos then we're fine," she said as Kuu looked at her with a grin.

"We need to put these in another album," he said as he thought of all the photos that they had taken since their son had reentered their lives. Since all they really had between the time Kuon left and the time he became Kuon Hizuri once again came from the media or screenshots of the video he made or the occasional photo from Yashiro, they were obsessed with getting as many shots of their family that they possibly could.

"Oh definitely, we'll make two sets and then you can keep one and see how good a father you are," Julie said as she looked back at Kuon. Despite the man having won an acting award, the coveted acting award, she was more proud of the person he had become. He had been a truly wonderful husband and as a father he was amazing in both the way he treated Kou and the amount of love that was evident in his entire body. He was such a role model and inspiration to the little boy.

It felt amazing to have raised a son like that.

"Want to go see another animal?" Kuon said without giving his parents a response.

Kou nodded and Kuon took him by the hand and they walked over to where the red panda was. Kuon took deep breaths in as he saw the animal. For some reason, this red panda, more than any of the other animals reminded him of his wife. He remembered how excited she had been when they had come to this zoo as a couple, how she had wanted to take pictures with him in front of her favorite animals and how he had had to convince her that these were animals and not celebrities and they had to treat them with respect.

He remembered how he had told Kyoko about different birds, different plants and flowers, different weather patterns. He remembered how his wife had just sat there looking at him in wonder and being extremely thrilled that he was sharing with her something that he loved without reservations. He remembered how she had bought for him a plot of land at a small area so that they could plant some vegetables together.

He had been afraid that she would find it silly that someone like him was so interested in botany and zoology, but she had been happier to know more about him.

That was the beautiful woman he had married. Everyone loved her acting, especially her darker roles, but she really had brought magic into his life. He just wished that he had been able to save her. He felt a hand on his shoulder and then a tug on his hand.

"Honey, are you alright?" Julie asked sympathetically as Kou looked up with wide eyes at his Daddy who had seemed to have lost himself whilst looking at the animal.

"Yes," Kuon nodded. "I was just reminded of her. I think over time the pain may decrease, but…I was incredibly lucky to have met and married such a woman. Please keep reminding me of that."

"I think it will be you who will remind us of that. We love Kyoko, but Kuon, there is nobody who loved her more than you," Julie attempted to convince him. She very quickly kissed her son's cheek.

"Mom, thank you, but the word isn't loved, I will always love _my_ Kyoko," he said as he smiled down at Kou. He would do anything possible to give his son the life he deserved, he just wished he hadn't failed the little boy already.


	17. Chapter 17 - Switching Sides

**Chapter Seventeen – Switching Sides**

Kuon sighed as he changed the calendar that Kyoko had put on the wall at the beginning of that year. This was going to be the worst month for him. December. Not only was there Christmas in December, not only did their relationship start in December, but it was Kyoko's birthday.

Kuon couldn't help the pain that nearly broke him when he thought about the fact that Kyoko Hizuri would always remain twenty-three, she was unable to become twenty-four or even older. He had failed her on that and the lawsuit, though it had done well, wasn't going to bring her back into their lives. His breath faltered as he ran his finger over the box for the 25th of December. That was most likely the hardest day of the year for him at this point.

He had always tried to make plans for her ever since Princess Rosa. He had always tried to get her something thoughtful or at least memorable and had accompanied it with a story he had created just for her. Or at least he had appropriated some of the things he had heard in books or legends.

Today started the first month he knew that Kyoko was really gone and he felt guilty that he could now get out of bed and continue with his life. He couldn't return to the stage yet, but he could at least eat and sleep and indulge in some of his other passions. Kyoko wouldn't be able to do that anymore.

Tonight he had plans with Yashiro. Even though all that the two of them were going to do was go to a highly exclusive bar and drink and talk, it was worth getting out of the house. It was worth talking to someone other than his parents who would listen to him and try to understand. This feeling of hopelessness seemed to be lifting, but Kuon didn't want it to. He didn't want his emotions to feel better and he wanted Kyoko by his side.

In short, he wanted to be greedy and try to reclaim what was definitely lost.

"So," Kuu said as he watched his son, coming over to the house so he and Julie could spend the later part of the day with Kou. "Do you think you can make it?" he asked with deep concern.

Kuon nodded. "I have to, but dad, her birthday is going to be really difficult to get through. As soon as I get passed that then I should be able to be okay. I just can't believe that I failed her that badly. If it wasn't for me then…"

"Kou wouldn't be here," Kuu tried to remind him, cutting his son off from saying once again that Kyoko's death was his fault.

Kuon nodded. That was true, that was probably the one thing in his life that he did right. That was the one part of his life that he would do his best never to screw up. His son deserved as happy a life as Kuon could give him. Kuon was just losing confidence about what type of a life that actually would be.

"You're right. He's the only reason that I'm still here," Kuon nodded, "I know now how much a father can love his child."

…..

….

Yashiro looked at his friend suspiciously as they sat at the corner table of the bar. He looked over Kuon again and gestured to the half-drunk beer in front of the actor. He also looked at the chips that Kuon was eating to keep himself sober. "If you didn't want to go out to a bar, we could have done something else," he commented. "Last week we went to a baseball game."

"I'm alright," Kuon attempted to smile, "I'm not judging you just because you're on your second drink."

"I wouldn't have ordered a second if I knew that you were going to drink less than half a beer within an hour," he said. "Now I feel as if I'm being disrespectful to you. I know how hard a day this must be for you, seeing those dates on the calendar. I think it would take someone who is truly heartless to see the date of their…"

"Do you want another drink, Yashiro?" Kuon asked not wanting to bring up the 25th of December into the conversation. "So, how is the paperwork going? You must feel like taking a vacation by now."

Yashiro shrugged, he sighed knowing that Kuon was trying to hold himself back from the depressing thoughts that his wife wasn't with them any longer. Even Yashiro himself had felt glum and a stab of pain when he realized that it was now December. Kyoko had passed away in September, it would soon be a full quarter of a year with her gone.

"It's exhausting, sometimes gives me a headache," Yashiro replied honestly. "But no, it's not bad enough to make me want to flee from it. I'm always willing to read over more. I've also been trying to get the press off of your back which is no easy task in itself."

"And for that I'm very thankful," Kuon gave a gentleman's smile. "I know that they must be ruthless on you. I'm happier for Kou's sake."

Yashiro frowned, "I'm going to order myself something else to eat," he said as he stood up, "Will you be okay by yourself?"

"I don't think I'm either a child or intoxicated," Kuon replied before seeing Yashiro leave the table. Feeling a little pain in his heart, Kuon looked around. He could see all the new couples starting to get together, he could hear laughter from friends, he could see…what the hell?

He stood quickly making sure he had his jacket and wallet as his eyes caught onto…his dead wife.

Maybe he had drunk more than he thought. Maybe he was living in more of a dream world than actual reality, but that injured woman in front of him was either his wife back from the dead or an exact clone of her. "Kyoko!?" he called out as he pushed through the crowds. He felt as if he was losing his mind, but that woman looked…

He froze as the woman started to run away from him, he watched her slide a file over to the barkeeper and then tried to flee the bar. Kuon managed to get through the crowds, ignoring anyone who was attempting to stop him and ran after the woman.

Maybe he was hallucinating or asleep, but he needed to chase her and find out who she was.

If the police had to come and tell him that he was a stalker or that he was harassing her, then so be it. At least if this woman turned out to be somebody else, he could be sure that it wasn't the woman he loved.

"Kyoko!" he called after her as he pushed his body to match her speed. There was no way that it wasn't at least her clone, there was nobody that Kuon had ever met who could run like that. Thing was that he was faster than her. Thank god that he was faster than her.

Grabbing hold of the woman's arm he held her in place as she glanced back at him.

Everything about her was exact and Kuon felt his eyes widening in complete shock at the woman before him. He knew that Yashiro would have absolutely no idea why he had left or where he was going, but Kuon didn't care. He would explain things afterwards, this woman in front of him was his wife back from the dead.

"You're…" she said as Kuon recognized the voice, his eyes drawn into her face enough to not notice the bands around her throat and wrists that would be able to give her an electric shock leading to her death. "You're Prince Charming."

Kuon blinked, he wasn't expecting those words to come out of her mouth. Did she not remember who he was? Did she not remember that they were married or even that he was once known as Ren Tsuruga. At this point, he wished that she was calling him Ren Tsuruga. Even Cain or Katsuki or any other role would be fine.

Kuon froze, "I'm sorry," he said before he pushed her gently to the wall, making sure that she didn't hit her head. "Kyoko, do you remember that name?" he asked as he felt the tears within his eyes. He was so stupid not to be searching for her. It didn't make any sense that the hospital had cremated the body and he felt so pathetic that in his depressed state he had actually believed that rather than going out and searching for his wife.

He ran his fingers through her black hair and looked deep into her eyes. "Stay, please stay here, please don't run" he tried to beg. Without a second thought he kissed her passionately on those lips that he loved so much. He then noticed the collar. Hopefully the kiss wouldn't set it off.

His eyes traced over the cuts and bruises and scrapes that were on her face. Someone had been abusing her and he had just let them. He hadn't been able to save her, he hadn't been able to help her.

The woman who had once been Kyoko put a hand to her lips remembering the touch and taste. They were trying to bring back memories, but instead it just made her mind a blank haze. She looked at him confused and taken aback before crying.

"Princess?" Kuon asked as he saw the tears and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I remember that you're my prince charming," the woman said as Kuon nodded. He would take it. It wasn't his name or even a name that he had ever had, but if that was how his wife could remember him then he would accept it. He just wanted to take her home and take care of her.

He was so beyond relieved that she was alive, that she was in his arms.

"Yes, yes I'm your prince Corn and you're my princess Kyoko," he tried to tell her hoping it would spark a memory or something. He placed another hand on her cheek before hearing the sound of someone clapping as they walked towards them.

"Busakimo," the woman said as Kuon blinked in surprise, "Dogeza."

Kuon felt a heavy chill run through his body as he witnessed his wife submitting to this other woman. He crouched down beside her, "Kyoko, you don't have to do this. Let me help," he said worried about what she was thinking. Kyoko was not the type of woman to let another order her around.

When he got no response from his wife, Kuon looked up with a deep glare to the woman before him. "What did you do to her? How could you hurt her?" he growled. He placed a hand on Kyoko's shoulder. "Come on, Kyoko. I'll take you home and we can deal with this ourselves."

Raven laughed as she watched the couple. "She won't be able to hear you, she's my pet who is under my magic spell," she announced. "If she dares to disobey me I can turn the voltage on her collar up so high that it will burn her to a crisp."

Kuon felt his body fill with the same anger and hate as it had when he was a teenager. He kissed the back of Kyoko's neck and stood up. "You don't want my wife, do you? Otherwise you would have killed her. You're using her to hurt me. I'm the one that you want."

"Very very true," Raven nodded. "You _are_ as smart as they all say you are. I'll tell you what, I'll let her go and clear her memory of all of her torture if you agree to make a sacrifice for me. It's a little, you give me something and I let your wife go."

Kuon took a deep inhale, "It's not money or fame that you're after, is it?" he asked as he looked down at Kyoko in pain.

"No, I think you know exactly what I want," Raven said. "I want you to switch places with her, you monstrous murderer," she smiled coldly as Kuon looked at his wife. It was all his fault that she was like this.

Raven held out a shock collar that would go over Kuon's throat. "Do we have a deal?"

"You promise that she'll be okay, that she'll return to the Kyoko that she was. That my wife will be fully restored at least mentally and psychologically?" he asked with a growl. "You promise that she will be released?" he asked. Raven nodded to this.

Kuon took a deep breath in and went down to Kyoko's side. "I know you can't hear me, but just know that I love you," he said as he put the collar over his own throat. He was relieved when Raven took off the ones on Kyoko and seemed to whisper something to her which broke the spell.

Kyoko stood looking scared and nervous, she didn't know what was going on. The last thing she remembered was that the doctors thought that she was dying at the hospital. She looked down at Kuon on the ground and her eyes widened as she watched as jolts of electricity shot through his body.

"Kuon?" she asked weakly, "Stop it," she begged, "Please stop it, you're going to kill him."


	18. Chapter 18 - Worse than Losing Corn

**Author Note:** Oh god, I feel so badly for this. First I say that I want a lot of reviews and then even though I don't get the reviews, I don't wait around for you guys to be able to read the chapters I'm really sorry. For some reason they keep flowing out of me and it makes me really excited to see people's reactions. Then again I did have someone favorite this story recently and that made me really happy 😊 Well I'm sorry for this being the third release this morning O.O I still hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Eighteen – Worse than Losing Corn**

 _The six year old Kyoko felt completely alone as she looked at the spot where she had met Corn. He had listened to her problems and tried to help her through them. He had said kind words to her and he had shown off his powers when those words weren't enough. Corn was such a kind and worthy fairy prince that the six year old really had to applaud him. Now he had left. He had told her that he had to leave so she shouldn't have been surprised to find out that he had fulfilled those words. She still missed him though, she had to hope that he was safe._

" _Corn," she whispered as she held the blue stone that he had left her. "Please be alright. I'll be watching out for you. I hope you get to fly freely and live to your heart's content. You're going to be so much more impressive than your father one day. Thank you so much for your help Corn," she said before looking down. "I know I shouldn't say this to anyone else but Shoutaro, but I love you for a fairy, Corn."_

…..

…..

It had started to rain as Kyoko looked down in fear at her husband on the ground. She could see the agony that he was going through even as strong as he was. She selfishly was glad that he had his eyes closed, if she had been looking into those emerald eyes she didn't know if she would be able to breathe again. She knelt down on the floor, not caring about getting herself dirty or wet. She reached out a hand to his shoulder, "Kuon, oh my sweet Corn," she said as she felt the voltage zap her.

"Stop it," she growled as she looked up at the woman she felt she should remember but didn't. "Don't make me get…" she felt the voltage stop but realized that it was because Kuon had passed out from the pain. "Please don't be dead," she whispered as she managed to grab his wrist and check his pulse. He was okay, he had just passed out. He wasn't dead…yet.

"Why are you doing this to him?" Kyoko growled, her eyes showing a deep level of hate for the woman in front of her. "You better leave right now, my husband is…"

"My pet now," Raven grinned. "He made an arrangement with me. He decided to sacrifice himself for the woman he loves. He put that collar on himself so that you would no longer be my pet."

Kyoko felt her heart pause. What on earth was this woman talking about? She felt inside that it was true, it was the kind of thing that Kuon would do as well, but she didn't want to leave him.

…..

…..

" _Tsuruga-san," Kyoko said as she approached her senpai. They had finished shooting the final set of scenes with BJ and so Cain Heel and Setsuka Heel were now getting stored away and might not ever be used again. However, during those final scenes there had seemed to be something wrong with Ren. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked._

 _Ren smiled at her, but knew that Kyoko could instantly read through that. "Please don't worry about me, Mogami-san," he said softly. "Although I might not be alright at the moment, I promise you that I will be able to be alright soon. Thank you for all of your hard work by the way."_

" _Oh," Kyoko smiled. She didn't want to correct him and say that she had done all the things she had due to feelings of passion towards him, but on the other hand she didn't want him to think she was doing it all because she wanted praise and was doing it out of respect. She took a deep breath in, "I know this is out of place for a junior actor to say to their senior, but if there is anything that you want to talk about please feel free to call me."_

 _Ren smiled to her, "Thank you, Mogami-san. I'll keep that in mind."_

…..

…..

Kyoko felt so weak as she pushed her hand through the blond hair that she loved so much. He had a fever, they had made him sick or they were trying to make him sick. "Kuon, you shouldn't…" she struggled. She hated seeing him sick or weak but seeing him like this broke her heart. She was scared that if she let go of his body that she would never ever see him again.

She was terrified that they would kill him in front of her. She was scared that this woman would pick up a gun and shoot a few rounds into his body for fun just because he couldn't defend himself. Kyoko felt the tears wash down her cheeks as she stared at the unconscious body of her husband. "Kuon…" she said before feeling something strike her in the back of the head and then it all went dark.

…..

…..

" _Kyoko," a nervous Ren said as he looked at her, watching her movements and seeming to be scared of whatever he wanted to talk to her about. For some reason, Ren had told her that he wouldn't be able to really be in a relationship with her unless she knew and accepted one of his deepest secrets._

 _Kyoko was glad that he trusted her, but already her mind was racing with different scenarios each weirder than the last one. Maybe the nightmare she had had would come true and this was just his way of getting rid of her. He would shake his head, let out a deep sigh, and say that he never wanted to see her again because of her stupidity._

" _Kyoko, I want to tell you my real name," he said, "but please don't be afraid and please don't think I was toying with you or messing with you out of a desire to hurt you."_

" _Alright," Kyoko nodded nervously. "Whatever your name is I-"_

" _My name is Kuon Hizuri," he said as her eyes widened. That was one of the last things that she was expecting him to say. "And…not only that. Do you remember when we met…on that ocean and I said that I needed to borrow a voice and that I needed to borrow a body as well," he said wondering if she followed along. "I had written out your name in the sand with a stick, you wanted to eat a coconut, uh…I said that I could only use magic once a day," he said as she turned pale._

" _You tricked me…" she said slowly as he looked at her guiltily. "So, you're not a fairy…but you are Corn or Kuon."_

" _Yes," he said awkwardly. "That's why I was scared to…"_

" _You know, you are really something special," Kyoko said with a laugh and a shake of her head, "but if it was possible, I think I love you even more," she admitted before seeing him smile in a mix of happiness and relief._

…..

…..

When Kyoko woke up she was lying on the front step of her home. She reached out before finding that she had a few things beside her and her mind went back to her husband on the ground. She reached out and collected the items feeling at least a little thankful that she had them. First was his wallet, second his phone, and third his ring.

Were they doing this out of respect or just the desire not to get caught? Kyoko looked at them before her eyes caught her reflection. Of course she was feeling pain, she had been beaten up and her face showed it. There was nothing on there that would leave a lasting wound and she could use makeup to cover up most of it, though she wouldn't because it would be easier to heal if she didn't.

She had somehow been through an ordeal and she didn't really recognize the skinny, abused woman that she had become. She felt her heart break as she got to her feet feeling extremely shaky and unstable. She needed to get inside and figure things out. Hopefully her home would be the same as she left it, but she was missing one vital part of her life. She knew that her husband wouldn't be in there.

As she opened the door she saw her parents in law sitting down on the sofa.

"Kuon, everything go alri—i-I" Kuu said as he stood and looked at Kyoko as if she were some kind of zombie that had risen from the dead. Julie had turned pale and was shaking too, her eyes filling with tears as they both looked at her. "Uh…I…" Kuu said in complete disbelief as he looked to the woman in front of him. "Wh-Wha…Kyo-Kyoko?" he said still unable to speak properly.

Kyoko turned in his direction and nodded as Kuu looked to his wife unsure what to say.

"Wh—We thought…we had a fu-fune…" Kuu said as Julie shivered and had one question on her mind.

"D-Does Kuon kn-know you're no-not dead?" she asked before trying to look around for her son. She didn't know how this could have happened and she stared at her daughter in law in complete shock and bewilderment. "Wh-Where is…"

"Kuon got taken," Kyoko said with the guilt heavy in her heart, she didn't know how to explain this to Julienna. She knew that though Kuu was more level headed when it came to her and Kuon, that both of these people loved Kuon more than they loved her and rightfully so. Julie just was the one to show that more often with Kuu being more respectful of her feelings. "He sacrificed his life for me," she said as Julie fell to the floor in tears.

She couldn't breathe anymore and it made the guilt and shame that Kyoko was feeling double in size.

"I can't be here," Julie said as she ran to the front door, Kuu looked torn between his wife and his daughter or second son as it had been.

"Julie," he called out, "Are you going to be okay if I stay here?" he asked selfishly as he saw Julie nod before making her way back to the house she shared with Kuu. She didn't want to think of her child alone in any pain, she also didn't want to admit the anger, the irrational anger, that she felt towards Kyoko for doing that to her son.

Kuu paused and looked at Kyoko, trying to understand what was going on. "Kyoko," he said slowly as he took her in. "You look…I'm so sorry we didn't find you, I let you down and I let Kuon down," he said as he took in the cuts and bruises and wounds. "Let me take you to the hospital," he offered. "I'll see if boss can take care of Kou for a little bit or his granddaughter might be able to. I think you need to be checked over by a doctor," he said deeply concerned for her.

"Everyone thought that you were dead," he told her with a nervous look over her body. He didn't want to tell her that because of her, Kuon had been put through all this pain. That wasn't what they needed to focus on right now. Maybe the next morning, Kyoko would have more of an idea of where Kuon was and they needed that information. He wasn't going to give up on his son, not like he had with Kyoko.

"Julie…" Kyoko said as she looked towards the open door.

"I'll talk with Julie," Kuu tried to reassure her before making a call to Lory. Something had to be done about all of this and Kuu had absolutely no idea where to begin.


	19. Chapter 19 - Am I Really Home?

**Author Note:** So now, because I was feeling like my writing was going all over the place. I made a writing schedule for myself which can be found on my profile page and I'll do my best to stick to it 😊

 **-And action-**

" _Doctor, I'm this woman's father in law, that makes me family. What can you tell me about her condition?"_

" _Well aside from all the surface bruising and cuts, scrapes, burns, and the branding that was done on her hip there is some internal damage as well. First, she seems to have been raped by many different people whether all at once or in turns is unknown."_

" _Are you saying that she's pregnant?"_

" _She's not pregnant, but although it isn't impossible, I don't think that she will be able to have any future children. Her stomach has also sustained some damage as well as her kidneys. There are some bones that have been broken and then reset by someone not trained in doing so. I'm also worried about where her mind might be,"_

" _Is there anything that I can do for her, doctor?"_

" _At this point. We can give her medication and I'd say that there's a surgery that could help, but the most important thing is for her to take some time to relax."_

 **Chapter Nineteen – Am I Really Home?**

Kyoko nervously sat in Lory's office two days later. She had had her surgery performed about an hour after Kuu had taken him there. She didn't know what was going on, but now that she had been able to look at herself, really _look_ at herself, she feared what was happening with her husband even more.

He most likely was already dead but she didn't want to give up hope for him.

She knew she was causing her family pain. Kuu was obviously troubled but he was taking the time to talk to her and make sure that _she_ was okay. Julie on the other hand was at a complete loss. Kyoko knew that Julie wasn't blaming her for all of this, but as a mother it was always hard to think about losing your child. Even though Kuon was her very special and very treasured husband, he was also Kuu's and Julie's son.

Of course Julie would get depressed that he might be dead. Kuu was being too nice and too fatherly by saying that it wasn't her fault.

She looked across at the little boy who had begged to go with her and after getting Lory's permission, had taken him to see the president. She looked over at Kou as he played with a train that Lory always had on hand. It was a pink toy with a giant heart on top of it and four cars trailing the lead car all with letters spelling out 'Love'.

"How has Kou been?" she asked feeling terrible for confusing her son so badly and making him worry about his Daddy who hadn't left him before. In Kou's eyes his mother had left and people said she wasn't coming back but she did but daddy left now.

"He's a strong kid," Lory said as he smiled at the three year old. "You and Kuon raised him well, that's what I want to talk with you about."

Kyoko felt the tears prick her eyes as she tried not to break down in front of the president. She didn't want to admit how terrified she was without Kuon there or how the image of him getting shocked and being in pain was always close by especially in the dark. All she wanted to do was find him and she was praying to all members of the fairy kingdom's royal court that he was still alive.

"Pres," she said with her heart breaking, "If I knew where Kuon was then I'd go there as fast as I could and I'd bring back up and reinforcements and everything. I just…I have no idea where they could have taken him. I want him back," she said trying not to lose it in front of Kou.

"I want to find him too, you don't know how much and I doubt that Kuon isn't trying to find some way of escape, he's resourceful and he's…" Lory looked over the bruises and marks that were covering Kyoko's face and body again despite how she had worn pants and a long coat with a scarf to try to cover most of it up. "You really have no memories at all?" he asked as Kyoko nodded.

"Just darkness, just pain…" she said, "but nothing concrete," she felt the tears in her eyes and tried to stop the sound of her heart breaking by covering her mouth as she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I don't even know if he's alive. If I had only listened to him and we'd done tests on the…" she felt a dark gloom wrap around her as she thought how easily she had been used as bait for the purpose of her love getting hurt or maybe even getting killed.

She froze as she felt a tiny hand on her and looked at Kou as he reached out to hug her. "Oh, hi there, baby?" she asked before scooping the little boy onto her lap and holding him close to her chest. "You don't want to play with your toy anymore? I mean, it does have the word love on it in big letters," she tried to tease her son.

"Mommy sad, tears go bye bye" Kou said trying to look at his mother with the strength that he got from both his parents. Kyoko pressed her lips against his forehead and ran a couple of fingers through his blond hair.

"Yes, mommy should stop crying as much," she said knowing that her son didn't really understand what was going on. She was very thankful for that. "Sorry I wasn't with you for so long, my little fairy Kou" she said as he kissed her cheek.

"Mommy loves Kou, yeah?" he asked her with his wide eyes as Kyoko thought back on how terrified she had been as a kid to ask her own mother those questions and how Kuon had listened to her. They were things that she knew no child should experience, but Kou was usually so happy and so open. She couldn't imagine not loving him.

"Of course Mommy loves you and so does Daddy, you're our amazing boy," Kyoko managed to smile as she held him close. Closing her eyes, she turned to Lory again. "I'm not giving up on finding him, but you asked me here to discuss the press conference about my return. As for my answer about Yashiro, I don't care how much the press and the media and all of Japan hate me, I do not want him losing focus on tracking Kuon down. I don't care if my reputation is painted darker than Mio's, what I want most is my husband to be alive and to be safe."

Lory nodded slowly, "We'll do the press conference tomorrow if that is still okay with you," he said as he saw Kyoko raise an eyebrow.

"You could even make it tonight, but tomorrow's fine. I'm telling you. I don't really care what Japan thinks of me as long as _Kuon_ is safe." Kyoko looked down at Kou and wrapped her arms around him again. She wanted to somehow shield him from all of the pain and sadness that was around, but that was most likely impossible.

…..

…..

Kyoko grinned as she sat at the table in Darumaya with Kou. Although she felt terrible inside about how she couldn't find her husband and that he should be there with the both of them, the way that Taishou always interacted with Kou amused her. Although Okami-san and Taishou had seen Kou as a very little baby, they hadn't seen him again until they had moved back and only on a few occasions. Coming back to reality made Kyoko see how important it was for everyone to be there.

She dearly missed her husband though. It wasn't as if he had died it was the fear that he was going to die at any moment that haunted her, she just didn't know when and she hoped Lory's people would find him before it was too late.

"Dis big fishy!" Kou announced as he finished eating the child size portion of the fish test. Kyoko noticed that Taisho still looked impressed even though Kou always ate his fish properly.

"So, Kyoko," Okami said as she came over to the family. "You have to do the press conference tomorrow?" she asked before brushing away a tear from her eyes. "It's so good to see you despite the terrible things that you must have gone through. I know that your husband is strong and I hope we get to see Kuon soon.

"Do you have a name?" Taisho asked with a cold glint in his eyes.

Kyoko shook her head, feeling inside a little warmth from the fact that this man would be willing to pick up his knives and use them to protect her even though she had imposed on him to the point he considered her an adopted family member. "No, I wish I did."

"Hey, Kou why don't you see your Japanese grandmother?" Okami said as Kou nodded.

"Treat?" he asked her as he followed and she glanced down at him. How could this little boy pretty much talk her into giving him as many sweet things as possible. Maybe the way that he could already play with a woman's emotions was from his dad but his love of food was from his mother.

Meanwhile Taishou sat opposite Kyoko and looked over the marks. He hummed before putting a hand to his right cheek in a way of focusing their attention on Kyoko's cuts on her right cheek. "Are you getting surgery?" he asked her.

Kyoko froze, she knew that when she had done her first transformation before joining show business, this man had disapproved of her vanity. It was the fact that she was still the same good girl underneath that had really helped him keep his high opinion of her. To know that she would be undergoing cosmetic surgery was something that might alter that.

"I am," she said as she looked down at the table. "I want to work. If I continue to have this damage on my face, then I won't be able to act anymore. My family has enough saved up so that once I'm legally alive again…"

"You need to get pictures taken," he said as she blinked.

"Well, that was…." She struggled to explain before seeing the very serious expression on his face and stopped herself from speaking. She looked down and waited to hear what he had to say.

"If you see the angle of the cut or the force, you will be able to find out who wields a knife like that," he said as Kyoko froze. Of course Taisho knew a lot about using knives, but she hadn't actually focused on how a person could look at her own injuries and narrow down the list of suspects of those who had taken her husband. She smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, "I will."

Taisho nodded as they sat there silently and Kyoko could see a smile over his usually stern face.

"You do know my husband is a good guy, right?" she asked. "He might not eat a lot but he learned how to eat fish for you. He really does try his best. I know that you don't really like his fake smiles but…he's a good guy."

"I know he is a good guy," Taisho nodded as Kyoko smiled, "because he makes you happy."

Kyoko felt a small burst of light in her heart amongst all of the sadness. She just hoped she could track him down soon.


	20. Chapter 20 - Up Close and Personal

**Author Note:** Hope you guys enjoy 😊 Thanks to PaulaGaTo and Shizuhoe in particular who have kept me motivated and inspired with their reviews.

 **Chapter Twenty – Up Close and Personal**

Kyoko was terrified about how she was going to approach the press conference. She didn't even know where to begin and she had a sinking gut feeling that 90% of the people who would be tuning into her words were huge Kuon Hizuri fans. She didn't know what part of the past near year to apologize about first.

First of all there was the heartache that Kuon had gone through whilst she was sick. He had been so worried and terrified about her condition that he had lost his ability to act when on camera. Everyone knew of Ren Tsuruga's perfect attendance record and strong work ethic, they had always expected Kuon Hizuri to be the same. Since he was unable to perform in some of his scenes and it had been leaked, maybe Japan would think that she was a traitor and that she had manipulated and lied to him.

Then there was of course the hardest subject to approach, her death that was declared false. Even though she obviously had no control over what had happened with the hospital or the fact that she was taken and abused, she could bet there were people out there who would say that it was her fault and that for some reason she had wanted to torture the man she loved.

She didn't know what to explain from that point. She could apologize, talk about the injuries, and then say that she really wanted to do all that was possible to _find_ Kuon. That didn't add up to a lot if she wasn't actually actively seeking him out. She just didn't know where to look though and both Kuu and Lory had told her that she had to be patient and wait for them to figure it out.

She knew they were underestimating her through what they called 'protecting her'. It was all far too frustrating.

Kyoko sighed and bowed her head before hearing a voice behind her.

"I'm glad to see you," she heard one of her favorite people say, "but you really need to be strong and let them see you can't be broken. You've got your reputation…" the actress stopped as Kyoko had thrown her arms around her and was hugging her, "to consider."

"Moko!" Kyoko smiled feeling a bit of relief that the second person in the world she wanted there was behind her. Although she wouldn't admit it to Moko, her feelings of joy would have multiplied by a thousand had the person behind her been Kuon. "I'm so sorry that I…"

"I'm going to kill those assholes when we find them," Kanae said bitterly. "I can't believe they abused you like that. You don't know how worried I was, how much I was in grief, how much of my emotional pain I channeled into eating. I gained ten pounds when you were gone."

Kyoko looked down before seeing Kanae's soft smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm going on about me again and I really need to grow up and change that and know I can't be the center of my world the entire time. You're going to get surgery, right?" she said as she took in the wounds. "I mean, you can't act like this."

"I can't act without knowing that Kuon is safe, Moko" Kyoko argued.

Kanae sighed and put two fingers on her forehead before taking a deep breath in. "Listen, you mean a lot to me, but didn't you promise me that never again would you let a guy dictate what you were going to do with your life. I understand that with your mind occupied on your husband, you're destined to not be in the right mind set to really act properly. However, I'm thinking that if, and I don't know the accuracy of that if, he can't be found you should still act."

Kyoko frowned as she looked down not wanting to admit to that.

"He'd want you to continue pursuing an acting career," Kanae said using the one reason that Kyoko needed. She paused before nodding weakly knowing it was true.

….

….

As her name was announced to go sit at the table with the microphones where Lory was waiting for her, she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked around to see Yashiro. She smiled feeling a little better that she had more support and wouldn't be up there by herself. She knew how good at deflection Yashiro was, that was what made him such a great manager. She would definitely do better if he was there.

"Sorry, I'm late," he said. "I was not going to let you go on alone. I was just looking at some paperwork and trying to find…it doesn't matter, I'll fill you in later, Kyoko" he said.

Kyoko smiled before going to sit at the table. She hated the flash of the light and her mind was triggered slightly to a bright light and a dripping pipe. Why was she imagining a basement? Somewhere large? Somewhere with…metal bars?

"Hizuri, Kyoko. It's both shocking and surprising to have you back," a woman stood up before Lory even had a chance to say anything further. "What can you tell us about your experience?"

Lory frowned, "I thought you all knew that Kyoko is dealing with an altered mind through the use of brain washing and hypnosis. Anyone who refuses to treat her with the respect she deserves will be escorted out of this press conference, however I am going to show leniency with that question as long as you all remember that."

"Of course," the reporter nodded, "So, what, if anything, do you remember from your experience?"

Kyoko froze and looked down. "Not a lot," she admitted trying not to cry in front of all the press. "I remember a lot of pain, I remember fear and doubt and I remember that whenever I thought about my husband I could smile. I remember that it was dark and damp and there was a musty smell. I don't remember anything further, I'm sorry," she said as Lory looked at her. That was even more than she had informed him of.

"Kyoko, might I ask what your plans are right now? Are you trying to seek out a path to find Kuon?" a man asked as Kyoko nodded.

"I am working with my father in law as well as Yashiro and the president to try to locate him. As for what I plan on doing, apart from healing and getting my face fixed through surgery, I just want to make sure to help my son through this. Both Kuon and I love our son so he has to remain one of my top priorities as his mother. I have been reassured that when I was said to be dead, Kuon also put our child as a top priority," Kyoko answered elegantly. It was true. Even with Kuon gone, her son was still growing. She had to make sure he had the best kind of life he could.

Another woman put her hand up and a cameraman followed after her, "Kyoko, might I ask how your son is dealing with this. It must be very confusing to be told these contradictory things, how are you helping him learn about what happened?"

"My son is three years old. Although he is confused, I have just explained that mommy is here and daddy is lost. My son is sad and scared, but he is also of the age where I can't tell him what I've been through or the fear I have for my husband," Kyoko replied as she closed her eyes and thought of Kou.

"Do you plan on telling him about what happened in the future?" the woman followed up and Kyoko stared down.

"I hope that Kuon and I can both explain it to him when he is ready to hear it, if he is never ready to hear it then we will respect that. I have hope that my husband will be back home soon," Kyoko said as her hand started shaking.

"Do you feel bad about manipulating your husband by pretending to be sick?" a man asked as Kyoko looked down and took a deep breath in before using her gentlewoman's smile.

"I don't think I ever manipulated my husband. I was drugged. I was provided drugs from someone who wanted to attack me, the drugs themselves affected my mind and I grew addicted to them. I felt that they were making me better but they had addictive elements and if I had just…" she sobbed as both Yashiro and Lory looked over at her in concern. "If I hadn't taken…" she stared in front of her feeling dead inside. She knew that this was her fault and that if she had just listened to his husband it would never have reached this point.

"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly as she broke.

"How does it feel being a bad wife and mother?" a guy shouted out as Lory created a fist, he looked towards his security.

Kyoko couldn't speak and she held tight to the table before her. She opened her mouth but no words came out, she was relieved when the man next to her stood and grabbed the microphone.

"Kyoko Hizuri is a wonderful wife and mother," Yashiro told the audience. "To say anything otherwise is a public attack and I doubt that's what you want to be remembered for. If you were in the same situation as she is at this time, I'd like to see what you would do for your loved ones. I was with Kuon earlier that night and I know that he did what I would expect and gave himself up for the woman he loves. If she had the choice to do that, she would do the exact same thing. So, without knowing their history, I do challenge you to find proof of that meritless accusation."

Kyoko froze as she looked up at her friend. "Thank you," she whispered to him as she saw the media look at him instead of her.

"Are you saying that you're a bad friend or are you saying you can't do your job properly?" the reporter continued to challenge the manager as the security guards reached him.

Yashiro's eyes turned colder. "I really don't think you should consider speaking so freely about my professional relationship with Kuon when you are the one being escorted out. As for my personal relationship, he is my friend and I am not letting him be ignored. Saying that I am a bad friend isn't going to break me, but what is going to break you is the fact that _you_ let your emotions and judgments get in the way of what could have been a promising career. If anyone does have further questions about Kuon or Kyoko then we can pick another time. If anyone wants someone to blame then pick the person who accused a woman who went through abuse, manipulation, and torture against her will of not caring enough about her family."

As the press conference ended, Kyoko looked up at Yashiro and reached out to hold his hand.

"Thank you," she sobbed, "Thank you so much for being _our_ friend," she said as he nodded.

For him it was all in the line of duty.

….

….

As they got back to Lory's office, the president sat opposite Yashiro and Kyoko. "Kyoko, are you starting to remember anything else from what was going on. You never mentioned being somewhere that seemed damp before, is there anything else such as a name or a face…I can get you scheduled with someone who specializes in brain washing and undo what they might have done to you."

Kyoko nodded, "That might be for the best," she closed her eyes and one word came out, "Rick."

Lory's eyes widened and he turned to Yashiro who Kuon had filled in on the event a few years ago. "So, this does have something to do with Rick. It was my main suspicion but this does make things a little more complicated."

Kyoko blinked as she watched him, "How?" she ventured to ask.

"Well," Lory sighed, "Right now we've mainly been focused on things happening in Japan. If this does have something to do with Rick, we have to consider Europe and North America as well," he hummed. "I just really hope that boy isn't dead already."

Kyoko gasped as she heard that and let herself break, Yashiro gathering her in his arms.


	21. Chapter 21 - Happy Birthday, Kyoko

**Author Note:** I really hope you guys like this one, it's not too long until we find out what's going on with Kuon 😊 and then it's also only a short time until they are reunited. Other than that, I hope you really do enjoy this chapter and that I'm not causing anyone too much impatience.

 **Chapter Twenty One – Happy Birthday, Kyoko**

Kyoko looked around at all of the festivities for Maria's birthday. She was happy that every year this party had become such a success and she felt that she owed it to her young friend to be here. Yet, everyone felt the lack of Kuon's presence. It wasn't even that they had had time to plan for it with Kuon just sacrificing his life even though he hadn't struggled with an illness like Kyoko had been forced to.

Tears filled her eyes as her body shook and she stared out at all the happy couples. She remembered the first time she had helped Maria throw a party and how when it had struck midnight, Ren had given her a flower that would later contain Princess Rosa. She placed a hand to her neck as she checked that she still had her necklace on.

After that, Ren and later Kuon, would always give her the most thoughtful gifts and even though she loved all of the other gifts that she received, the love and thought and time that Kuon had spent finding her gift made her feel incredibly happy and loved. This year there would be no gift. She didn't mind the lack of material gain, that wasn't what her birthday meant to her. What she was troubled by was the fact that her husband wasn't going to be there with her.

She glanced at the clock as it showed that it was only half past ten. In an hour and a half she expected people to start wishing _her_ a happy birthday and unless it was Kuon who said it, she didn't want to hear it. Soon her birthday would have passed and then there would be new year and then his birthday. Hopefully they would find him before February 10th. That would probably be the worst day to have him gone. Compared to Kuon's birthday where he would be turning twenty-eight, Valentines Day didn't matter.

"I'm so sorry, Maria" Kyoko said as she came over to the teenager, her legs shaking and she felt that she could almost collapse. "I have to get home, I can't stay here."

"Big sis, it's going to be your birthday soon," Maria tried to encourage her to stay. "Everyone is going to be really excited to say happy birthday to you, please say you'll stay. Two hours?" she begged and Kyoko shook her head.

"I am so sorry," she said before feeling herself bow out of instinct, the pain in her heart was too heavy. She didn't want to hear anybody but Kuon say it. She could deal with Maria, Moko, Yashiro, the president, Taishou, Okami-san, and her parents in law saying it, she knew that they would. Anyone else but him wasn't going to make her happy with one exception.

She would be delighted to hear Kou say happy birthday to her, the little boy was figuring out what birthdays were and she really wanted to hold him. He was her son with Kuon. She only wished she had the third part of their family there with them.

"Be safe alright," Maria said as she knew that she wouldn't be able to get her friend and big sister figure to stay. "Happy early Birthday," she said softly as Kyoko flinched and nodded.

"Happy birthday, Maria," she said before grabbing her coat and bag and going outside in the cold. She felt somewhat glad that the snow had fallen and it was cold and dark out. Being out here in the dark made her feel safe to be alone. She just wanted _him_.

She looked up with her tear filled eyes and saw a blond man walking towards her. She wished it was him so much.

"Kuon," she cried as she wrapped her arms around herself wanting to make sure that she was protected. It was far more than the cold that chilled her, it was the knowledge that her husband might not even be alive anymore and she would never be able to hear his voice other than on a recording.

She was surprised when she felt someone's arms around her and saw the tall legs and the clothes that were definitely not Kuon's. Feeling herself gain enough consciousness to look up at the guy, she pushed him away from her immediately. Although she no longer detested this guy, though she did hate the feud between him and her husband, she did not want to be held in the arms of Shoutaro Fuwa.

"Hi, Shou" she said with an exasperated sigh, "Who told you that you could hold me like that?"

Shou shrugged as he looked at Kyoko concerned, "You look like you're about to pass out and die, it'd kind of make my Christmas Eve more unpleasant if you did that," he said in a bored type of voice. Kyoko wondered whether he was doing this to play around with her or whether he had actually come out here to try to make sure that she was okay.

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to clean up my body if I did," she shot back, "You once said to me it was too disgusting to touch roadkill."

Shou chuckled, "Want to go get a coffee?" he asked.

Kyoko looked away, "Why would you think I'd want to go anywhere with _you_ , Shoutaro?" she asked him.

"Alright, then how about I take you for something else, cocoa maybe. I know this place where they have a princess cake too," he said as Kyoko eyed him suspiciously.

"Fine. I just got out of a party, but it's cold out here and my family isn't expecting me back right now," she looked at him before jabbing a finger into his chest, "but I'm warning you. You try anything funny and I'll storm out of that place and make you look like an idiot."

Shou laughed, "Well that'd be interesting, let's go."

…..

…..

Despite everything that she was going through, even Kyoko had to admit that the hot chocolate at this place was delicious. It was just the kind that warmed her whole body with just a single sip of the beverage. She looked down before feeling tears in her eyes again. She would be so happy if this was Kuon who was treating her on her birthday, but since it was Shou she felt very guilty for enjoying what he had bought.

"So," Shou said as he looked at her and then smiled as he saw that the cosmetic surgery was already working, "Tell me that you're going back for another round," he said as Kyoko nodded.

"I am," she said as she felt her face had already been healed a little. She felt ashamed for that already. Her face and appearance was healing, but if they were willing to do this to their bait then what were they going to do to him. She didn't care what he looked like, she just cared about finding him, but she couldn't bear the thought that he was in pain. "I'd like to go back to acting."

"It's good that you're getting on with your life," Shou commented as he took a gulp of his coffee. "I mean, I know I once said you were a plain and boring woman but you're a good actress, Kyoko. I remember how popular you made 'Prisoner' for me."

Kyoko shook her head at his continued smugness, "I don't want to get back into it now, I want to see if I can find Kuon. I know you don't like him and he has good reason to dislike you, but I want him to be okay. If you care about me at all, as my sort of friend, I'd like your support."

Shou shrugged. "Sure," he nodded. "That guy may be a real pain, a jerk, and you're way too good for him but I hope he's alive as well at least for your sake."

Kyoko smiled feeling the tiniest bit refreshed by how he had said that to her, "Thank you, Shou" she told him. "Now, I can't believe you are such a ladies man that you haven't settled down. None of the girls want you?" she toyed with him.

"I'm too important for frivolous girls," Shou said as Kyoko raised an eyebrow again.

"Are you sure that you're not turning them off by the openness of your terrifying overego," she said as Shou rolled his eyes but looked up at the clock on the wall. He made a gesture to one of the staff members and they brought over a delicious looking cake for Kyoko with a single lighted candle on top of it.

"Well, happy birthday," he said as she looked at the cake.

More than anything she wished that Kuon was here but she had doubt that they were ever going to be together again.

She blew out the candle.

…..

…..

The next morning, Kyoko sat in her and Kuon's room staring at all the different gifts that Kuon had given her over the years. He had given her jewelry, clothing, accessories, and numerous other gifts. Some of the makeup that she had requested had been used up but she had kept the boxes although flattened them. She couldn't bear to part with any gifts that Kuon had gone and picked out specially for her.

Kyoko sat on the bed and felt the tears sticking to her cheeks. She hadn't been able to sleep and it wasn't just the fact that she had gone to a café with the man who was once her enemy. She just wanted Kuon, he was the one gift that she wanted above all others and she couldn't have him. She wanted to touch him and to hold him, she wanted him to kiss her. He wasn't here though. She didn't know if he would ever be there with her again.

She heard a sound from Kou's room and realized that the little boy was waking up. Getting up slowly from the bed, she walked over to her son's room. She opened the door slowly and felt her breath catch in her lungs once again as she saw how much he looked like his father.

She was scared for him. She was terrified that she would actually turn out to be a bad mother and whatever skills she had used so far that had turned Kou out to be such an amazing child were a fluke. She was scared that without Kuon by her side she wouldn't be able to be the good mother she had somehow discovered herself to be.

What was most scary was that at Kou's age, unless Kuon was to come back into their lives, Kou would be unable to not forget his dad. He would forget all about Kuon's warm smiles, his hugs, his love that he had so much of for his family. Kou would forget everything and how could Kyoko prevent something like that from happening. She knew that she would always be able to tell Kou stories about Kuon and Corn and even Ren, but he would lose an amazing father.

She just hoped with every cell of her body that one day Kuon would be at home with his family once again.

"Mama," Kou reached out for her and Kyoko went over to him. She sat down and wrapped her arms around him, bringing him to her lap.

"Morning, my darling," she said as she kissed the top of his head. "Any fun dreams today?" she asked as he looked at her.

"Daddy?" he asked and Kyoko shook her head, "I dreameded Daddy wa' here" Kou told her as Kyoko felt her heart break again.

She didn't want to have to explain that Kuon was gone and he wasn't being able to be found and that maybe one day they would receive the news that Kyoko would never want to hear, that Kuon was found dead.

"Maybe sometime not too far away," she tried to say though with every passing day she was believing those words less and less. She saw him nod and so felt nervous, she smiled at him. "Today is a special day for mommy, today is Christmas," she said. "You want to go open your Christmas gifts?" she asked as Kou shook his head. "Why not?" she asked.

"Cwismass is Mama's birdday," Kou grinned to her, "Happy birdday Mama!" he said loudly.

Kyoko brought Kou in for a closer hug. "Thank you, my darling," she said. She was right, _that_ happy birthday really made her feel good inside.


	22. Chapter22 -How to Effectively Use a Whip

**Author Note:** This chapter has a lot of darkness in it towards the end so please don't get scared about it. I hope you enjoy it but I wanted to prepare you. Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it 😊

 **Chapter Twenty Two – How to Effectively Use a Whip**

It was in December that Kyoko had found that she had been brought out from the place where she was tortured and was able to live freely. It was also December when Kyoko Hizuri had realized that never again was she going to be able to live freely. Kuon had been gone for too long now for her to have any hope that he was still alive.

This was torture to her heart.

Taking a deep breath in, Kyoko wiped away a tear as she looked at the calendar. It was February 9th. It was February 9th and nobody had any idea on where her husband was. Police officers had told her that with the high profile of Kuon Hizuri, there should have been reports or at least there should have been something detected with a name and information. There was nothing.

Kyoko refused to believe that he was dead.

He was her husband, he was strong, he could handle himself. Maybe he had amnesia and was resting up somewhere. Maybe they had taken him to some European country, France or Denmark or Germany or somewhere where he could blend in with other tall blond handsome people. If the people that the president had employed weren't looking in Finland then there was a chance that Kuon would be there.

She wanted her husband and the more people suggested that he was dead, the greater her resolve that he was still alive.

She stood up and walked over to the living room area and sat down, curling up on the sofa and staring in front of her at where she had a package from Sawara-san. She didn't want to open it. She already knew what was in there.

Japan was about to do a huge drama that people said would be as big as Dark Moon had been if not bigger. Of course they had wanted Kuon to be the main star of the work and had cast him months before the other actors. She also knew that Kuon had been hesitant to accept the job because of her illness. It was a love drama, something that was said to be an excellent credit for anyone in showbusiness. She knew that Kanae had been considered and although she wanted to act alongside Moko, she couldn't take knowing that another actor was going to be taking Kuon's place.

She knew that as soon as she opened that envelope, she would have to make her decision. She also knew that people didn't accept the fact that she didn't want to return into showbusiness right away because of her husband not being there for her anymore.

She refused to think that Kuon had escaped and had run off.

That only left her the idea that they still had him, that they were still torturing him, but one can only stand so much electroshock treatment. If he was still being tortured or brainwashed then they had pushed him over the edge already. She had been taken for that long but then again everybody had been convinced that she had died. She had also been kept alive because she was supposed to be used for bait to catch him. They had no reason that they needed to keep _him_ alive.

Getting to her feet, Kyoko put the package down and went to get a photo she had on her vanity of Kuon holding an infant Kou. She was so happy when she had taken this picture of the new father and the tiny little baby back home from the hospital. He looked so young and so in awe of his being a daddy in his son's life. She had hoped that they would have had more kids, a little girl that she could treat and treasure like a princess.

It was too late for that.

Kyoko had a tear run down her face as she stared at the smile that she was terrified that she would never see again. She missed the way she could lean in towards him and her entire body would fill with warmth. She missed the fact that he would smile and it would be as if all the light in the world was being generated by that smile. She missed his eyes and how she could tell by the way the light hit him what was in his heart.

She missed him terribly and the idea that she wouldn't be able to spoil him and compliment him and kiss him on his birthday horrified her. Of all the times he had helped her whether that was as Corn, Ren, or Kuon, she would never be able to pay him back for that. She had been the cause of his disappearance and, as other people were telling the tale, she was the cause of his death.

"Kuon," she shivered, her body shaking as she walked over to the table and the package.

She held it in her hands and looked at him. Ren had always been a stickler for work ethic and she knew that was because of how much Kuon loved acting and the role model that Kuu had been for him. She placed her little finger on his cheek, remembering how she would use her whole hand to cup that cheek. How her doing that would often lead to the most passionate kisses.

"Kuon, please forgive me. I don't think I can get back into acting without you," she felt the tears in her eyes. "I know you don't want me to turn down acting opportunities like this especially after being out of the field for so long, but please give me a little longer?" she asked. "I promise you that I'll get back into acting eventually, but I can't do it yet," she shivered.

She looked into those kind and loving eyes and placed a hand over her heart.

"Tomorrow I'll make sure to tell Kou that it is the birthday of the most important man in our lives. Then when you get back I'll make sure that we can celebrate you and the most amazing person that you are," she saw a tear drop fall onto the glass of the frame and looked around for a cloth to wipe it off.

She looked down, she felt guilty for crying on him when he was the one hurting, but it did feel similar to being able to cry on his shoulder.

…..

…..

What had inspired Kyoko to sit up with the computer into the night looking at old press releases of her husband had everything to do with the date. In only ten minutes it would be February 10th and this was worse than the first time she had known it was his birthday. On the first birthday where she had known him, she had misread the date and so didn't have a gift to present him.

He had taken it very smoothly and had said that he had wanted to spend his time with her. She had told herself that it was because he was trying to be nice to her and that she hadn't fulfilled her duties as a junior actor. He had said those words because of the same feelings that she had, it didn't matter if she wasn't given a gift as long as he was there beside her.

This time, she had a gift that she had thought about for a while, she had even been asked what would happen if she spent such money on something that she wouldn't be able to give him. However, unlike a birthday without a present, this was a birthday without the individual who should be celebrated.

Maybe that was why she was reading over quotes he had said both as Ren and as Kuon about his career and what he loved. She loved reading the quotes about how he saw her but that also led to a level of guilt and grief. He was much too good a person. She hadn't deserved him, that was why he was taken away from her. Shoutaro wouldn't have sacrificed his life for her, not in the same way that Kuon had.

Kyoko felt tears slip down her cheeks without knowing if they were going to stop as she placed her finger under the numbers on the bottom of the screen: 02/09 11:59PM.

She felt her heart was going to break as she saw the minute slip over until it was marking his twenty-eighth birthday. She refused to think about him staying twenty-seven years old forever especially the idea that one day she might be sixty and he would still be her twenty-seven year old prince with that happy smile on his face.

Kyoko nearly looked away from the computer were it not for a notification bell. She looked at the top of the screen and took a breath in unsteadily.

'A new playlist has been added featuring your tracked tag #hizurikuon'

Kyoko didn't know whether this was from a fan who had put together some music with pictures of Kuon as a slideshow, or maybe someone was just putting up new clips of him on their personal account, maybe these were his best scenes from some of his acting projects. Whatever this playlist showed though, she felt a duty as his wife to see them.

As the website loaded, it confused her that she was only allowed to see the playlist and not the individual videos. She would have wanted to take a look at what they were, she swore to the devil that if this was some kind of attack on her husband she would make sure it was removed from the site. She wasn't expecting that it would be _this_ kind of attack.

The playlist was called: _The Real Hizuri Kuon_

Kyoko clicked on the first video and felt a weird ringing in her head as she saw a darkened room that looked like the basement of some kind of company building and a leaking tap. She saw a wall where there were four metal restraints and there was blood. There was also metal barring and Kyoko had the chilling feeling that she had been in that place before.

She grabbed hold of the desk as her own memory seemed to provide the same imagery. Where was this? What on earth was she watching and who had uploaded the playlist? She reached across for her phone not giving a care what time it was and messaged both Lory and Yashiro on a group chat. She managed to type in the URL before hearing a voice.

"So, right now it's December and I thought that I'd give you all a gift, I'm quite like that," a man said as Kyoko felt a strange pain in her lower body from just hearing that voice. "We all like playing make believe sometimes, but to an actor like Hizuri Kuon, he gets to make a living out of it. I want to make a living too, shame I haven't found the success that he has though. Well, I can make my success here, I _will_ make my success here as I show you how to _break_ a man down to nothing. Maybe I can inspire some of you out there to do the same thing."

Kyoko froze as she saw the camera pan to a naked Kuon. Even with his hair shaved off, she could tell it was him. He had dark marks over his body and Kyoko could see a whip being held by someone female off screen. Kyoko could also see some odd colored pills floating in what seemed like a dog bowl.

She felt completely sick and wanted to stop. She didn't want to see them hurt him like this. They would need to do some fast action against the media to control this story, but as much as she didn't want to see him like this, Kyoko knew that she had to keep watching. If she turned away she might lose what she needed to save him.

"Keep the mutt's face away from the camera," the man said as Kuon struggled but as someone touched his cheek, Kyoko could see that the glove they wore was somehow hurting him. She heard the small sound of pain and her eyes widened as the glove left a burn on his face.

The man walked forwards and his face was kept off camera but he looked like a stereotypical gang member. "You see this is a whip. A whip can be used to cause pain or to tie things up, this time I'm going to show you how to use a whip to cause the maximum pain to a victim. Now, please comment if you have any tips on how we're handling the weapon. We'd love to hear if there's a better way to play this game."

Kyoko tensed as she saw the man whip Kuon's neck and then systematically down his body. Tears slid down her cheeks as she tried to stop the heartbreaking sobs.

She grabbed to a toy that he had won for her at an event and held it close.

This was the worst thing that she had ever been subjected to, but she felt guilty for saying that. Obviously this was the worst thing he had gone through.


	23. Chapter 23 - Damages

**Author Note:** So, I was originally planning on writing this chapter to upload on Wednesday but I really got excited to write it especially the end part 😊 It's very dark and gruesome, probably the darkest chapter in this whole fanfic so if you want to skip over it here's the summary: Kyoko sees more videos of Kuon getting hurt and starts remembering things that she was programmed not to. Meanwhile Kuu thinks he sees the reflection of somebody in the camera.

Also, someone said that they felt that they had read this story before and that this was a more in depth story. Well, that's because it's actually a third rewrite although the earliest one: Daddy Dearest – MysticSorceror was very different and I wrote it when I was much younger. Then I tried rewriting it and having Ren jump off the roof but I deleted that. The third one: My Dear Kuon is still up on here but all of this happened in the first seven or so chapters. So, that's most likely why it looks familiar.

 **Chapter Twenty Three – Damages**

Watching these videos was absolutely terrifying for Kyoko. She was on her fourth one and despite thinking that if she continued to watch somehow the pain would just numb, it was breaking her. Seeing this sick individual upload eight videos all about how to torture her husband was the scariest thing she had ever seen.

So far they had shown the viewers how to use a whip, a knife, a gun – although the gun was mainly for scaring him than actually shooting him -, and now fire. They had talked about how to use different methods to get skin to burn and had even shown how if you put ice and salt together you could achieve a rather nasty burn. A few years ago, some teenagers had tried to develop a test about it. At least they weren't forcing him to eat corn off of a rotating drill.

Her chest caught up inside of her as she saw the side of his face, he was wearing a blindfold at this point. For some reason they weren't allowing anyone to see his eyes, they had explained in the video summary that it would make people empathetic with him were his eyes to be shown.

As they place a burning cloth onto his face, Kyoko could see the pain and she threw up once again as the cloth was removed to show a nasty burn down the side of his face. He couldn't act with that and he definitely couldn't model with it.

"Kuon," Kyoko breathed out. She hoped that this was some horror movie that she hadn't known her husband had been in. It had to be one of those movies where they went through torture because some people got aroused by it. This couldn't be what was really happening to the man that she loved.

Kyoko felt the pain in her chest tighten and before she knew it, she was being pulled into a warm pair of arms.

… _._

… _._

" _So," a man said to her, the same voice as on the videos that were to be shot later. "You're really pretty, did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?"_

 _The girl on the ground couldn't breathe, she was too scared of this man hurting her to speak. She had already been hurt by mistress, she didn't want to be hurt by someone so much bigger than her. "Mistress is the beautiful one," she whispered._

" _Oh, she's gorgeous, but that doesn't mean you're not gorgeous as well, Busakimo. I hear you have someone in your heart," he said as he approached her._

" _Mistress is the only person in my heart," Busakimo replied as she thought about her Prince Charming. She could see him there with that smile across his face. He was so happy and she hoped that he would be the one to keep her happy as well._

" _Not even, Prince Charming?" the man asked before he placed her hands on her chest. "Show me that you belong to your mistress, Busakimo. She said that I could play with her toys when she wasn't around."_

….

….

Kyoko shook violently as the memories were triggered in her head. She wanted to get out, she needed to push out of this man's arms before he hurt her. She felt like she was suffocating. She didn't want to be held, they couldn't hold her. They would only hurt her and then she would be letting them win. She felt the pain inside of her as she screamed into the man's chest.

"Let go of me!" she sobbed as she flailed around, stuck in her own torment. She was surprised when the man instantly let her go and she saw her father in law standing there. She had felt that he had been distant with all of this. She had had some thoughts that he didn't care about her, but he was really trying to not show her his own fear about Kuon.

There was no way that he could do that anymore.

"Kuu…Father, I'm sorry," she whispered as she heard Kuon's agony on the computer and saw Kuu shaking with anger as he saw it. "I…I want him. I want this to be a dream," she sobbed as Kuu nodded.

"Kyoko, you shouldn't watch this," he told her as he gestured to the screen as the video ended and one two weeks later started playing. The burn hadn't healed and that scared Kyoko even more.

"I have to father, if this video has any clues as to where my husband is," she said as she looked down. "It would have been his birthday today," she whispered before seeing the male body holding a small knife that surgeons would use.

What on earth were they going to do with _that_?

"Kyoko, please don't watch this, or at least…I'll be here at your side whilst you do. If you feel that this is what you need to find Kuon, I can't stop you but I am asking you not to." Kuu pulled up a chair next to Kyoko and then held the girl as she cried into his chest as they showed Kuon's eye, broken and full of fear.

She saw that Kuon was gagged this time and then there was a close up as the man ran the knife across his eye, blinding him. Hopefully it was just one eye. She hoped to god that it was just one eye. Maybe Kuon would have to live with depth perception problems, but she wanted him to see. She didn't want him to lose his sight and only to live in the same darkness that they had put him in.

"Please," she whispered knowing that there was no way that she could argue with that sociopath, "Please not both eyes," she said as she saw the wound that she knew would never be able to be healed.

She pushed her head into Kuu's chest as her entire body shook in pain. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real.

She saw her father in law stare at the camera and then his face morphed into a look of confusion. He reached out and pointed to a reflection of the cameraman on the metal pipe. She wasn't sure why he was looking so horrified, why he looked at if he could die from some kind of shock filling his body.

"Rick?" he asked as Kyoko felt her forehead pound.

Rick. This was all about Rick or it involved people who wanted payback for Rick's death. What was this? Rick, Rick was important and it felt like her memories were rushing back to her.

…..

…..

The sixth video was showing how electricity could render Kuon's body limp and useless and then there was a seventh video where they used drugs to mess with his mind. Then it was to the eighth. This one was different, or at least it looked different.

It showed a very nervous Kuon Hizuri with a baggy sweater and sweat pants on, his one good eye wide with fear and his hair short with all kinds of scarring and cuts evident. He had one scar that ran down the side of his head. Half of his face had a huge burn on it and on that side his eye had been slit. Still he stood there, no longer the strong actor or person that he once was.

"So," the man who was being filmed said with a grin. "Since our how-to videos are at a close, I thought it might be good to do an interview. Did you know that celebrities get paid for interviews? It's really tragic. We think that they are going on a show to do a little PR release and then they go and steal the spotlight. It is such a disappointment. Well, we have this guy with us right now, what is your name…" he said before forcing Kuon to turn towards the camera.

Kyoko saw the fear and anxiety at speaking in front of the camera. He was as terrified as a young child with stage fright trying to do a show and tell. It was as if he couldn't get the words out.

"Speak or we'll hurt you again," the man threatened as Kuon closed his eyes and looked down.

"Hizuri, Ku-Ku-Kuon," he stuttered.

He never used to stutter. He was always so strong and vocal, he wasn't scared like this guy on the camera. Kyoko reached a hand out to him, wishing she was there beside him. They had left her with marks that she could heal and what couldn't heal naturally, she got cosmetic surgery to cover, they hadn't given him the same opportunity.

"And what do you want to say to us, Hizuri?" the man said as Kuon kept his eyes closed and his head down.

"I…I…I'm so s-s-sorry pri-pri-princess," he said as Kyoko felt her tears rush down her face again.

Even after all of the things that he had been through, she was on his mind. She had hurt him so badly and he still spoke about her as if she were beautiful. She didn't deserve someone like Kuon. As she saw him so withdrawn and so distant from both her and the guy he had been when he was Ren Tsuruga, she felt her heart break. They wouldn't be able to get away with this. She would track them down and she would make them pay for what they had done to her husband.

….

….

It was the night of February 13th and Kyoko had made a quick stop for groceries. She kept having people coming up to her and wanting to know her response to the videos. She couldn't answer them. The president had managed to get a copy for security and protection reasons and then the entire playlist had been wiped from the servers.

It was as if she were living in a nightmare and she didn't want to continue in this dark and scary place. She just wanted to be at home with her husband and their son as if nothing had ever happened. Maybe if she wished long enough for it, she would return to America and they would go to Kuon's award ceremony and he would get the Oscar and everything would be good for them.

It was worth hoping.

As she finally put the groceries that she had bought into her car, her heart stopped as she saw a tall figure completely cloaked in black with the hood covering the entire head. She grew nervous as she saw the figure looking in her direction.

Okay, things were getting too scary and she just wished that the man she loves would be there to protect her. She wanted him more than anyone else. She looked at the figure and took another deep breath as they just stood facing one another.

"So, you've come after me now?" she asked before the figure started moving towards her. "You've done every terrible thing to him that you can think of and now you want me!? I know that he'd do anything for me but you won't even kill him! You won't make the pain stop! I swear, I'm not going to…"

"Kyoko," the man growled in an unfamiliar manner, "Please be quiet."

"Why…because if I'm quiet nobody will be looking?" she said as her body shook. She knew that this man wanted to take her away quickly to avoid a scene. She wouldn't let him do that to her! "I can protect myself, I can expose you," she said before hearing the man cough.

"Don't do anything reckless, just stay calm and I promise you things will be okay," he still growled out in this dark and pained voice.

Kyoko frowned before realizing she had to attack this figure before he attacked her. She ran forwards and was about to press her knee into his body when he managed to dodge the attack and she looked into his one emerald eye and his shorter blond hair.

"Kuon?" she gasped as she stood there looking at him.


	24. Chapter 24 - After Effects

**Author Note:** I personally felt sad when writing this. The next handful of chapters will be focusing on exploring Kuon's psychological state with some twists thrown in. Also, as I said last chapter that I was planning on updating on Wednesday, well I'm going to add this chapter instead and then not update until Friday 😊 I hope you enjoy this though even though it was very quickly updated.

 **Chapter Twenty-Four :: After Effects**

Kyoko was taken aback as she looked at her husband. She had hoped that the time when they saw each other again would have happier circumstances, but the odd posture and the growl instead of his normal voice troubled her. He had even placed a piece of leather over one side of his face so as not to reveal the burn mark or the way that his eye had been cut.

He had deep cuts on his other side of his face but she could still see him there, his left eye had fortunately been left alone so at least he could see her out of that one. His hair was short, a buzz cut but it suited him.

Still, it didn't matter what he looked or sounded like. It was the fact that he was here, standing before her that meant everything to her. Kyoko felt her heart breaking again and the tears roll down her face as she placed a hand over her mouth. "Kuon," she whispered as he nodded. "Oh my sweet Corn," she said before walking forwards to him, but then realized that she was scared to touch him. She didn't know what parts of his body hurt the most. She had seen the videos and they prevented her from touching him.

Instead, Kyoko gave a weak smile to him and gazed at him as he looked down at her. She took a quick inhale as she felt his arms around her as he pulled her close to his body. She nestled her head in his chest.

"I can't believe I get to see you again, get to hold you again," he continued to say in more of a growl than his strong and respectable voice. She didn't want to ask why he wasn't speaking like he used to. She knew that he would answer her honestly, but she didn't want to force him to face the past and the torture that he had gone through. She just wanted to focus on the positives like the fact that she was here in his arms.

"Did you…escape?" she asked him as she took a quick look around.

"In a way," he replied. "Thanks to the president, police officers and security guards were able to find me," he tried to explain. "I managed to run off and get some clothes that weren't covered in blood and this cloak," he said. "Reminds me a bit of BJ," he said with a broken smile.

Kyoko kissed the material next to her mouth softly, "I always thought you were an outstanding BJ," she said. "That means you get to come home, right?" she asked not able to hold back the excitement in her voice. She saw the troubled expression on his face.

"Kyoko, as much as I want to come home, you have to understand something. I'm broken and I'm not talking about the scars or my body. My mind, it's snapped and separated. I don't have control over some of things that I used to. You have to understand that I'm not the same person and I might not create a safe environment," he said as Kyoko noticed the anguish on his face. She knew that he was mainly saying that for Kou's benefit, but after they hadn't been together for five long months, she refused to let him go.

"Kuon, listen to me," she said to him as she placed a hand around the cuts on the left side of his face. "You are most definitely coming home. We'll figure things out. I think we should ask Kuu and Julie to take care of Kou for a little bit and then we can work on being a family again, doesn't that sound good?" she asked before finding Kuon to place a hand on hers as he held it to his cheek.

"Yes, I'd like tha-that" he choked before Kyoko felt an unwanted presence somewhere behind her.

Before she knew what was happening, a guy had darted behind Kuon and flipped the hood back as another guy started taking photos of them. Her eyes scanned the area for the very rude man. He was on her death list.

She looked back at Kuon as she heard a cold and cruel laugh, an insane laugh slip from his lips.

"You assholes!" he snapped, his damaged vocal chords bringing a villainous tone to his voice. "You think that you can get to me," he said as his eye narrowed and Kyoko felt a chill throughout her entire body. "Your life," Kuon said as Kyoko felt her grudges, which had been dormant for such a long time, try to cling to the dark energy surrounding the man she loves. "Hell's fire is too good for you," he laughed before he punched their car and effectively left a dent in it as Kyoko's eyes widened.

She saw the measured steps, heard the laughter that she would have never associated with Kuon, and saw her husband approach the cameraman. Picking him up, he held him and then seemed to tighten the strap on the camera as if creating a noose for him. "Let's see your body swing," he stated before Kyoko felt everything scream inside of her.

She rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around Kuon before placing a hand on the one tightening the camera strap. "Kuon, come back to me. Focus, baby," she urged him. "Kuon, look at me," she begged before his face seemed to click in realization and he immediately put the terrified paparazzi photographer down and stared at his hands. She had seen this shock before when they were the Heel siblings, but he had managed to learn how to control those urges. It seemed that he was somebody else entirely at this point.

Kyoko very slowly ran her hand down his arm and then fixed the hood so it was hiding his face. "My sweet Corn," she tried to hush him. "It's alright. These men made a mistake. It's okay, they're not going to hurt you. You're safe, Corn." Kyoko saw the horror on his face of what he had just done and how he had lost it. She turned back to the photographer and hissed. "If you know what is best for you, you will leave and destroy those photos or you'll face the wrath of Kyoko Hizuri," she said before returning to Kuon and wanting to calm him down and comfort him.

"I…I…" he stuttered as Kyoko placed a calming hand on his cheek and saw the pain in his eyes. "I need to apo-apologize," he said before Kyoko saw that the men had run off. She swore to god that if they tried to paint Kuon as a violent psychopath, they wouldn't live long enough to finish their Valentines chocolates.

"It's okay. I don't think anyone will blame you. They were in the wrong to try to take photos like that," she leaned up and kissed his lips softly but enough to show how much she loved him. "Let's go home," she said as she took his hand and squeezed it. She hoped she could give him enough comfort and that she'd have time for Julie and Kuu to prepare Kou to stay with them for a little time.

She quickly sent a text to Julie that she needed her to take Kou out of the house and take care of him for a few days. She didn't say anything else, she hoped that as vague as that message was, her mother in law would just go ahead and do it.

She watched Kuon look out the window, his body tensing and then becoming calmer and more relaxed as he whispered some words to himself that she wasn't able to hear.

"Did you want to see a doctor?" Kyoko asked as she snuck a look at her husband who had his eye closed and was gripping to the seat as if they were about to drive off into the sky. She saw him shake his head and then heard him counting to himself. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "I can try to fix you something when we get home," she said as she just watched him.

Why was he so uncomfortable just sitting in the passenger seat?

She tried to listen to what he was muttering to himself, if it was something that she could help him with then she definitely wanted to. She froze as she heard the pain and shakiness in his voice.

"Just a car. Just a car. You're not trapped. Kyoko isn't going to trap you. It's not a trap. It's just a car. It'll be over soon."

Kyoko watched him nervously. Was it the memory of seeing a car kill his best friend that was doing this to him? She really wanted to ask about Rick since Kuu was convinced that it was his reflection that had been seen in the pipe on the video, but it seemed wrong to pressure him at this point. She leaned across and took his hand, it shook in her hold and she realized that Kuon was scared, terrified about something. He was doing his best so that she wouldn't notice it.

Whatever it was, she wanted to help him.

"The oxygen. The oxygen's going. No, there's enough. No gas. Kyoko isn't going to hurt you. It's a car. It's not a trap," he said trying to calm himself down. Kyoko was starting to see what he meant about being broken. Her husband had never acted like this before and she had known him for seven years. Even during their time as the Heel siblings he had never lost control of himself this much.

She was relieved when she had parked the car in one of their two designated spots.

She froze as she saw how quickly Kuon fled the car and how he was shivering and holding to himself and looked as if he were about to vomit. "Corn?" she asked as she came to stand beside him. "My love, what is it?" she asked wanting to know how to help him. "What is it? What's wrong? Can you explain it to me?"

"S-Small sp-sp-spaces," he said as she nodded trying to understand. Had her husband developed claustrophobia? She knew that she could deal with this, but she wasn't sure that he would. He was so used to being in a car, to being in an elevator, to being in rooms where his size made them seem smaller than she saw them. He was now with so many fears and impulses.

It would take a long time to sort out what was in his head and Kyoko felt guilty that she couldn't remember what had happened to her like her husband could. She was spared from the pain that he had. "Kuon, if you feel scared can you do two things for me?" she asked as he nodded quickly, his eye darting back and forth as if trying to see if there was anything around them that could come and attack them.

Kyoko sighed and placed a hand on his cheek again. "Please promise me that when you're scared you'll at least try to do them?" she asked as he nodded.

"O-O-Okay," he said as she felt her heart break at how he looked at her like a timid child.

"First, please remember that I love you unconditionally. If you need me to prove it then I will. I love you with each and every part of my being and it doesn't matter what you've been through, I can't stop loving you," she sniffed before looking down. "Second, if you're afraid of something, even if you think it's stupid or hurtful or bothersome, tell me. I can't help you, Kuon, if you don't let me in. Please let me in."

Kuon nodded to her, he wrapped his arms around her again. "I'm sorry," he whispered as she choked on her own tears. "I'm so sorry."


	25. Chapter 25 - Physical Deformity

**Chapter Twenty-Five :: Physical Deformity**

As soon as they got in the front door, Kyoko saw the injured Kuon crash onto the sofa and saw him curl up. She wanted him to get up and go to the bed, but with how much he had been broken, she was afraid of moving him. She did want to see if he could show her the wounds. She needed to contact Lory because even if Kuon didn't want to go to the hospital, they needed to find a doctor who could check Kuon over.

She knew that he had some internal damage in his mind, but it was impossible to think that his internal body was fine after he had gone through all of that. She placed a hand on her cheek. "My sweet Corn?" she asked as he nodded shakily. "Can we take off the cloak?" she asked nervously. Her body tensed and she felt scared, there was no way that she could admit to that though.

Kuon slowly sat up only so he could pull off the cloak and show he was wearing a black hoody and black sweat pants. All over every piece of skin there was at least one mark or one cut or one burn. Kyoko tried to hold back her tears. Obviously they needed to find some type of medical assistance for him. The people who had tortured him had definitely not seen to these wounds and she wondered how much of the damage could be changed.

She folded the cloak and put it over her arm before looking at him. "Get some rest," she said before gently kissing his lips. "I love you so much, I'll go and get you a blanket, okay?" she asked as she stood up.

She was terrified with her whole body shaking. She _knew_ what they had shown on those videos, but she could expect that there was a lot that they hadn't shown. Kuon wouldn't have been that submissive just to what had been shown. She had been nervous the first video because Kuon hadn't fought back. The man that she married _would_ have fought back and tried to escape from that torture.

Why didn't _this_ Kuon?

She was glad that Kou wasn't here. She knew that the little boy would be excited to see his father and with Kuon acting the way he had with the photographers, she didn't want to risk it. She also knew that Kuon had protested coming back home because he didn't want to scare his son. She respected that. She also was thankful that she got to spend some time with Kuon herse-she froze as she saw her father in law standing in the hallway concerned.

"Kyoko," he started in a very concerned voice. "Is everything okay? We got your message and we're happy to take care of Kou, but both Julie and I were worried about you."

Kyoko sighed, "I'm doing alright, father, but I do have a request for you," she said before looking across at the living room where Kuon was on the sofa. "Can you ask Lory if he can send a private doctor over here? Someone who is good with privacy?" she asked as Kuu looked her over, his face morphing into a look of shock and horror.

"What happened? Did you hurt yourself?" he asked quickly, "One of the wounds open-"

Kyoko shook her head and held a finger to her lips asking him to be quieter. "It's not for me, but please don't wake him up."

"Him?" Kuu asked not getting his hopes up that it was his son. "Who?"

"Kuon found me, but we've both seen the videos. He's trying to rest in the living room. He _needs_ his rest and if he refuses to go to the hospital, I'm not going to force him to but he does need at least some medical attention," she said before seeing the hope in her father's eyes.

"He's really in there?" Kuu asked as he took slow steps to the other room. Half of him didn't want to believe that his little boy was in there. He felt Kyoko grab onto his arm and turned to her. "Kyoko, I promise that I won't wake him and I also will call Boss and have him send someone over, but I still would like to see for myself that my kid is here."

Kyoko took a deep breath and then shot Kuu a warning look, "Father, if you dare to wake him up, I will make sure that he is kept away from you until he has recovered," she said and Kuu nodded.

Kuu nodded and then went very quietly to the living room where Kuon was resting on the sofa. He had a mix of emotions throughout but the main emotion that he was feeling was relief that his son was finally back home. He was around people who loved him rather than people who would torture him. He saw the slow breaths and then turned to see Kyoko watching him with a protective stance.

"Alright, I'll call boss," Kuu whispered as he picked up his phone and went into the guest room.

Kyoko went to the kitchen and got an ice pack and a warm cloth. She wanted to wipe some of that blood away and then if there was need for an ice pack, she had that as well. She allowed herself to dab very gently at his forehead and face. They would need more medicine for his wounds. She would have to calculate how much, with the damage that her husband's body had faced it was going to be a lot.

She smiled as she managed to clean his face and then wrung out the cloth into a bowl of water. Her eyes widened at how red the water got with the blood that had come from the cloth. She would have to get another bowl so that she always had clean water. Maybe if she mixed in some ointment it would help with the wounds a little more.

She wanted to see how he looked underneath the sweats, but she didn't want to do it without his permission. Maybe after the doctor had checked him over. Her mind was spinning around with possibilities, each getting worse and more terrifying.

No matter what, she was not going to leave her husband.

She was scared of losing him again.

After a while of cleaning the wounds on his face and neck, Kyoko set to work on his wrist and hand. She now had three bowls beside her and five cloths, two of them already stained with blood. As she cleaned his hand, she heard a knock on the door and then looked up at Kuu to answer it.

Kuon's eyes opened slightly due to the noise, the broken and terrified look was still there.

"They're coming back," he whispered. "They're here. They're going to do something, blow something up, fire, electricity, something," he worried with a panic and still damaged voice.

Kyoko reached up and placed a hand on his uncovered cheek. She drew close and gave him a, hopefully calming, kiss on the lips. "It's alright. It's just a doctor that the president sent over. He's just here to examine you," she said as Kuon tensed. She gave a nervous smile as Kuon grabbed to her wrist. She looked up to see two men at the door.

The first was the doctor and then the second was the president himself. She would have stood up and bowed to them had Kuon not seemed to need to hold onto her.

"It's okay, my sweet Corn," she whispered to him, "Nobody is going to hurt you. We'll protect you. Do you trust us?" she asked as Kuon nodded quickly before his eyes glued onto the doctor. That was the person he didn't trust, the other three he knew would protect him.

"He's nervous," Kyoko attempted to explain as she looked at the doctor and smiled gratefully at the president who had a very concerned and troubled expression on his own face.

"Most likely post traumatic stress disorder," the doctor commented. "After what he's been through, that seems very clear to me that he would suffer from that. So, although I'd advise going to a hospital, I can give you a beginning analysis of his physical condition."

Kuon tightened his body and seemed to curl up even with Kyoko so close to him.

"I will need for him to undress," the doctor said as Kyoko saw Kuon shake his head.

"Kuon," she said gently. "The doctor needs to see how your body looks without your clothes, it's important that we know," she felt a few tears slip down her cheeks. She turned back to look at the medical professional. "Would it be okay for Kuon to only have part of his body unclothed at one time such as his upper body and lower body looked at separately?"

"That is most definitely fair," the doctor said as he started to unpack the supplies that he had brought with him.

Kyoko looked towards her husband, "Would that be okay?" she asked feeling that her heart was going to break at how different Kuon was. However, it was true, it would have been a miracle bestowed by some superior being if Kuon had walked out of that unscathed. She was just glad that he was still alive.

Kyoko saw him nod nervously and watched as he took off the hoody to show only an undershirt underneath, he then took that off and Kyoko had to hold onto the nearby coffee table as she looked at all the damages that he had.

She saw Kuu stand with his whole body frozen.

The videos had only shown the start of what he had gone through and even though he wasn't one for crying, he had tears in his own eyes. Kyoko was glad that she had enough acting skills to hide most of her pain and not throw up from the scene before her.

She didn't really get why he was still alive.

She looked at the president who had bowed his head and seemed to be emitting some dark energy of his own.

…..

…..

After the physical examination, which allowed Kyoko to see things much darker than she imagined, the doctor had a long list of things that were wrong with Kuon. When it had come to the removal of his pants, Kuu and Lory had left the room but Kyoko had felt Kuon still holding to her.

Although he wasn't saying anything, she could guess that just by her sitting there, Kuon was staying rooted in a more stable reality. She would have to ask the president to recommend a therapist who could help Kuon. There was just one part of his body that she hadn't seen and that was because Kuon had refused to show it.

However, even though the doctor had let it go for now, Kyoko still wanted to see for herself what he was keeping hidden underneath the leather on half of his face. She hated the fact that there was no eye hole there, it only reminded her that he had had that knife run against his gorgeous emerald eye.

She didn't care about the burn, though she did have to wonder how bad it was that he would hide it. The videos had sometimes cast it in shadow and Kyoko could get a clearer view in person. As the doctor left the room, Kyoko reached up and nervously placed a finger on the leather. She felt horrible for asking this since she could see the shame on her beloved Kuon's face.

Kuon took a deep breath in before slowly removing the leather. Kyoko couldn't stop the tears from her eyes this time. She pressed her head into Kuon's body and felt selfish that she sobbed on seeing him. However, that burn was deep as if it had been crisped up in a deep fat fryer and his eye had blood along with a pale green.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as he put the leather back on. She held his hand before he could do so. "I'm sorry that I'm crying, Kuon," she apologized. "I love you, you don't have to hide anything from me."

"I'm hiding it from myself," he finally said as Kyoko nodded. She reached out and helped him put it back on.

Terrible people like that had no reason for existence.


	26. Chapter 26 - Changes

**Author Note:** Thank you for reading 😊 I know you guys got through the tough stuff already so please keep on reading and I hope you enjoy 😊

 **Chapter Twenty-Six - Changes**

Kyoko sat at the edge of the bed as she looked out at her bedroom. She knew that Kuon still just wanted to lie down on the sofa in the living room, but hopefully she could convince her husband to share the bed that night. She knew that it was probably more comfortable _especially_ for his legs. With long legs like his, getting cramped up on the sofa was _not_ good for him at all.

She glanced at the toy that he had won for her, a little kitten with a patch over its eye. He had taken her to a festival and won it for her just because she wanted to have a friendly competition. She liked seeing that playful side of him and she wasn't sure if she'd ever see it again.

She wanted to talk to Kou and prepare Kuon and Kou to see one another. Hopefully soon Kuon would have recovered enough so that he could be with his son but with his violent outburst the previous night, she didn't know if that would be happening soon.

Kyoko looked up as she heard movement by the doorway. She expected it to be Kuu and was both surprised and excited to see Kuon there…a very confused looking Kuon.

"Mogami-san?" he asked bewildered as Kyoko felt herself tense up just by hearing that name. Something odd was happening here? Her husband was speaking normally when before he had been unable to overcome his fear. Then there was the fact he had called her very formally by her last name.

"Hey there, Corn" she said before getting to her feet and she saw his eye widen as he looked at her in shock. "What is it?" she started to worry, "What is it? What's wrong?" She wanted to step forward and check his heart beat, whether he had a fever, whether he was having difficulty breathing. "Kuon?"

"How did you learn my name, Mogami-san?" he asked. "Was it in Guam that you figured it out? Are you angry that I deceived you?" he asked as Kyoko stared at him. Her mind was trying to go back in time and figure out what the _heck_ just happened here. It was when he gave a gentleman's smile that she seemed to wrap her head around it a little more.

"You're Tsuruga-san?" she asked not knowing if it was by choice or not that it was Ren who was standing here. The Kuon she had seen less than an hour ago was acting much differently than this.

"That's right…" he said as he looked at her concerned. She froze, _he_ was concerned _about her_? What on earth was going on here? "So, did you come over because you had questions about an acting role?" he asked her as she stared at him trying to figure out the best way of handling this. It didn't seem that he was joking anymore.

"I came over…because we're married," she said to which he looked at her very strangely. "I don't know if you remember it, but we started dating when I was eighteen and then you proposed to me when I was nineteen, I got pregnant at nineteen as well and we got married six months after you proposed. We have a three-year-old son together. Is any of this ringing any bells?" she asked him.

"Are you making fun of me, Mogami-san?" he asked as Kyoko shook her head and went to find a family photograph. She passed it to him and looked at him very worried about what might be happening inside that head of his.

She saw Ren looking at it before he put a finger on the glass over their son. "Kou," he whispered before his entire body seemed to change and he looked at Kyoko with the same terror.

"Kyo-kko" he said unsure what he was doing. Everything had seemed to go black and now he had woken up standing upright with a photo in his hand. He knew he had been to sleep, but had he really turned into a sleep walker. He stared at her before hearing his heartbeat in his head. "Wh-" he looked from side to side as if expecting someone to come out of the shadows and attack him.

 _This_ was the proper Kuon.

Kyoko didn't know what to say to him. She didn't want him to be afraid that he had just had a conversation with her as Ren Tsuruga and she didn't know what was going on herself. They had said that they wanted to split his mind open. Did that mean that they had done such damage that now he had a multiple who was also himself but at a completely different stage of his life.

She stood up and then went and gently wrapped her arms around his midsection. "It's alright, I understand," she told him, "and I love you." She reached up to place a hand on his cheek and smiled to him. It wasn't fair for her to scare him now. "Are you feeling any better than before?" she had to ask. She knew she needed to get him into therapy immediately. Maybe there were some medications that he could take.

What she really didn't want to do was talk about her own injuries, talk about the fact that she had been raped by multiple men. She knew that telling him that would tear him apart. It was probably best to wait until he was a little better or even to not tell him at all.

"Kuon," she said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Do you feel up to going to the hospital?" she asked. "You can wear the cloak, nobody can tell its you when you do that," she tried to persuade him. The doctor who had come to the house said he was more than happy to run some X-rays and other tests on Kuon if he went to the hospital. She didn't want to force him to do anything with his spirit so weak, but she also wanted the very best for the man she loves.

"M-Maybe in a-an hour?" he stuttered again and Kyoko nodded. She could agree to that. She was glad that she had waited to accept any acting jobs, with Kuon in this state she wouldn't be acting for a bit and was happy that they had the savings where both of them taking time off would be easy and wouldn't make a difference.

"An hour sounds great," Kyoko smiled relieved, "Yes. We can go in an hour. Thank you, Kuon" she said honestly before hearing a noise at the door.

"Are they back?" Kuon asked with his eye growing even wider.

Kyoko shook her head, "I wouldn't think so," she said before going to the front door and looking through the peep hole at a very nervous Julie Hizuri. She knew that Kuu had gone back to tell her and that it was Kuu now looking after Kou. Kyoko opened the door and Julie looked around before her eyes landed on Kuon who was standing nearby just looking at her.

"Oh my god," she whispered before going over and wrapping her arms around her baby protectively. "You're here," she sobbed again, "You're really here where I can touch you."

"Julie," Kyoko said as she watched the mother try to take in her child. She saw the woman run her hand down the back of Kuon's head so gently. "Kuon's been in a lot of pain, please be gentle and considerate," she said nervously as Julie looked at her daughter in law.

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked, "I would have rushed right over here."

"I needed you to take care of Kou," Kyoko tried to explain. "I knew that if I told both you and Kuu together that you would both want to be here. I'm sorry that I've been so selfish about this, I did tell father to tell you," she tried to explain awkwardly.

Julie took a deep breath in. "My husband would have told me anyway, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Kuon is _here_ ," she said before looking up at her little boy and attempting not to cry. She hadn't seen a lot of the videos, they had upset her so much, so seeing her so completely broken inside and out was scary to her. For his sake though she wasn't going to let herself cry.

"I am so glad that you're alive," she said as she held Kuon close.

"I thi-thinkk" Kuon said nervously, "I n-n-nee-d to g-g-go away" he said with his body shaking which made Julie want to pull him in closer to protect him as well as comfort him.

"We can go away," Kyoko instantly replied. "You just tell me where you want to go and I'll arrange the tickets."

"I n-need to g-go by mys-" Kuon began but Kyoko cut her off.

"No way," she argued as tears stung her own eyes. "I understand that you need to get out of Tokyo," she told him. "I would even understand if you needed to get out of Japan, those two things I am willing to arrange. I don't know if there are people after you so I'm afraid with us staying here as well, but one thing I am not going to do is to let you just go off by yourself. No bloody way, Kuon Hizuri," she said vehemently.

"Kyo-ko," he said again. "I c-can't pp-ut you in danger," he tried to convince her. "If I hu-hurt you." He looked down with the depression looming over him. He hadn't wanted to admit that he was scared that _he_ would be the one to hurt her. He hadn't wanted to tell her that he knew he was so broken that he couldn't provide for her her husband anymore.

"I can defend myself if something happens," Kyoko said stubbornly. "Remember that I was with you when you were Cain Heel and you started to lose control of Ren Tsuruga and I've been there with you many times after that as well. "However, there is no way in hell that I am letting you go off by yourself without me knowing exactly where you are and that you're safe. If I have to handcuff myself to you then I will."

Kuon hesitated, he wasn't sure how to argue against that, all he knew was that he wanted her safe.

"I was…thinking of go-going back to America," he explained to her as she nodded.

"Great, then I'll find us plane tickets to go back to Los Angeles," she said as Kuon's body turned stiffer and he gave her something that she hadn't expected, an even more terrified look than he had since they had reunited. There was something there. Something about LA that explained some of either who took him, why they took him, or something that was said. She kept thinking back on how Kuu had been convinced that he had seen Rick in the videos.

"Not there," Kuon said as he seemed to drown in his own insecurities and both Kyoko and Julie recognized this about him.

"Then where, Kuon?" she asked. She kept thinking of places she knew in America that were going to be comforting to someone who suffered from claustrophobia and yet were still far away from LA. Did they have enough money to live in Chicago or Boston or Philadelphia, did Kuon want to go and live in a house near enough to New York to be able to go there by a long train ride?

"I don't know yet," he explained, "but not…not here, maybe Ky-Kyo-tto" he said as Kyoko's first thought was of a little Kyoto somewhere in America, but then she thought about it. Did he actually want to stay in Japan? She was fine with it, but he was recognizable no matter where he went.

Maybe Miss Woods would have some opinions on where they could hide out for a little time.


	27. Chapter 27 - Someone Needs a Therapist

**AN:** So I recently upped the rating to M and decided to slow down on the updates 😊 I hope that you enjoy it as it's going to be exploring different territory. Thank you for your support.

 **Chapter Twenty Seven – Someone Needs a Therapist**

There was an awkward silence in the therapist's office as Kyoko and Kuon Hizuri sat opposite Kuon's new therapist. The therapists name was Mizayaki, Amiko. She was a top knotch psychologist who had done extensive research on individuals who were going through trauma and post traumatic stress. She had handled multiple high profile clients that Lory had linked up with her and she had never let a story slip. She was supposed to be the best possibility for Kuon going forwards.

Kyoko held tight to Kuon's hand as she looked him over. He was wearing a red hoody this time, the leather mask still hiding the burn and slit over his eye, and he had some very comfortable black jeans on as well. Kyoko knew that this wasn't going to be a situation he felt comfortable tackling alone and she was happy that she was here with her husband.

She wanted him to get better and even though the president had given this woman his highest recommendation, Kyoko needed to make sure that she would be best for Kuon. She didn't want the psychologist to pressure her husband and she knew that she could calm Kuon down if he snapped.

It was for the best that she was here….right?

"So," Amiko said as she smiled to the two of them, "I want to thank you for seeking out help, I know that both of you have been through a lot and although we are here to help Kuon, I want to know if you need any help as well, Kyoko, after all you were…"

"I'm fine," Kyoko argued, "Could we please focus on my husband?" she asked as Amiko positioned herself so she was looking directly at Kuon instead of both of them.

"Very well," Amiko said before seeing Kuon looking around suspiciously, "I can assure you that nobody is going to jump out of the woodwork," she tried to say in a lighthearted manner to ease the tension that was present in the room. "I like to establish the fact that my clients can get 100% naked with me. I mostly mean that on an emotional level, but would have no problems with…"

"We're here for Kuon's mind," Kyoko said quickly as she put a hand on Kuon's shoulder protectively. "I am his wife. I find it inappropriate if he decides to remove his clothes in front of any woman other than me. I don't know if you've heard too much about me and my famous temper," she said as she reached for Kuon's hand with the one that wasn't on his shoulder.

"I will respect that," Amiko nodded. "However, I was mainly saying that you can remove your mask, Kuon. Don't feel as if you have to -"

"And what is wrong with my husband wearing a mask over what you've obviously known was damaged," Kyoko argued. She didn't want to say how Kuon refused to even step towards the front door without having his mask on or how much more confidence she saw in him when his face was covered rather than when it wasn't.

"I just think that it might bring him more comf-" Amiko said as Kuon looked down.

"The m-m-ask stays on," he said as Kyoko nodded. "I need it on," he pointed to the mask, "This m-mask is my ne-ne-w face," he said as he seemed to shift again, the anxiety already coming from the room. He hated how everything filled him with so much anxiety these days.

"You do know that it really isn't your face, right?" Amiko asked as Kyoko's glare deepened.

"How dare you?" she whispered protectively, "and you call yourself a doctor. If my husband says that is his face then what is the problem with it," she looked at him. She felt guilty how they hadn't celebrated Valentines Day like other couples did, she had bought him chocolates but had decided to celebrate both Valentines Day and White Day together.

Amiko sighed, "Alright, then we'll keep the mask on, I apologize if I made either one of you uncomfortable." She looked over at Kyoko taking a few notes about how Kyoko would benefit from therapy herself. She would have said that Kuon could benefit without Kyoko in the room, but it had already been explained to her that Kuon wouldn't be able to communicate properly without his wife being at his side.

Usually the people who were observers were somewhat quiet and weren't this overly protective especially at the beginning of a session.

"So, Kuon, why don't you tell me what you hope to achieve from our meetings together?" she asked as she looked at him. It was a simple question but the way that he answered it would allow her to outline what she considered as progress during the time together.

"I wa-want to be nor-mal" Kuon shivered as he stared at the carpeted floor. "I…wan-t to be wi-with my wife an-and s-son" he admitted before rubbing his hands together trying to hold onto something. Kyoko kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him again. She just needed to keep him calm.

"You do know normal actually isn't a defined term," Amiko said. "It's a relative term, but I think you'd like to maintain your wife as husband and father, is that what you're saying?" she asked as she wrote a few more notes down on the clipboard.

Kuon nodded to this, he took a picture of him, Kyoko, and Kou out from his wallet and looked to it. This was what kept him tied to reality most of all. He needed his son, but he was definitely not in the correct state to take care of him. He wanted those happy moments with Kou again but he didn't have the strength to be the father that he once was. His goal was to make sure that one day he would be that father though.

Still, if he couldn't be a father to their son, he would much rather be locked away than have Kou and Kyoko denied a future together. If he was locked up, he only hoped that in ten years his son would come and visit him in the psychiatric ward and wouldn't be completely ashamed of him.

Kyoko looked at Kuon and took in his expression and sighed, she let her arm wrap around him and she kissed his cheek again. "Kou loves you no matter what, he doesn't hate you, Corn" she said as she took the photograph and showed the therapist.

"Oh, so that's you two and your little boy, he's adorable," Amiko said although the photo had been taken when Kyoko was apparently sick. "You want to get better for him."

"Y-yes," Kuon nodded as he closed his eye trying to focus but all he could see was an image of his son rejecting him in his head. "I can-'t be with h-him right n-now, n-not lik-ke this" he struggled as he remembered holding his son in his arms.

Was this the feeling that Kuu had when he went to Japan? Was this feeling of loss really what his parents had struggled through just so he could get a dream that had been ripped away from him. He had lost too much but losing Kou or Kyoko would be a pain too big for him to handle.

"So, that will be our plan," Amiko noted down. "We'll make this our top priority and I'm sure that even if it takes a few months, your family will be back together again," she tried to encourage him as Kuon stared down. He knew that Kyoko had had to go through the pain that he had had to go through, but thinking about someone even placing a finger on his son sent jolts of anger through his veins.

Kuon's face seemed to straighten as his eye changed in a way that only Kyoko could notice. She grabbed his hand and started running her hand over the back of it.

"You think your life is so easy," he smiled out with a cold grin over his face, "You go through all the boring crap never thinking about the hard things. You think everything you have is what you've earned. I may have money and nice belongings, nice property, but I've had to fucking earn each and every fucking thing in my life," he said as Kyoko looked up at Amiko wanting to see her expression.

She was confused that she saw a glint of excitement in the therapist's eyes that she immediately tried to shield. This therapist better not try to sell this story to a newspaper or other media outlet. She didn't want to have to protect Kuon when they were just trying to find someone to help them.

"Kuon?" Amiko asked before seeing a smug smile appear on what looked like an arrogant face despite the scars that covered it.

"Wow, you actually know how to read a name," Kuon said as Kyoko had to look down. This had happened a few times since their reunion, he would suddenly be in too much fear and then it would turn dark and he would emerge with this new personality. It was another thing she was scared of the world finding out about her husband.

"You're not the Kuon that I was talking to a moment ago, are you?" Amiko asked as she blushed slightly and Kyoko put a hand very gently on Kuon's chest. She had been around fangirls of her husband long enough for them to mistake something he said or something he did as giving them special attention. Maybe this Kuon was actually showing a rebellious side, but there was no way in hell that Kyoko would just allow this to continue.

"Honey," she said trying to use a bit of Setsu in her acting, maybe going to a female therapist was a bad idea. "We're trying to get you healthy, okay? So why don't you sit back with me and we can tell the doctor all about us, okay, Kuon?" she asked before trying desperately to keep him controlled with a gentle hickey to his neck.

"Well this little nothing in front of me really doesn't draw my attention either way," Kuon said before looking at Kyoko. "So, what if this is a second Kuon, I'm just as real as the first."

"So, you are aware that there is another Kuon," Amiko said as she scrambled for some more paper to take notes down on. This was fascinating. "Does he know…"

"I don't know how much _my husband_ knows about these other people inside of him," Kyoko said as her eyes burned with the flame inside of them. "If you didn't remember, the videos said that they were going to separate his characters." She put her hands on Kuon's shoulders. This playboy Kuon was at least easier to control than someone like Cain or BJ might be.

"Sweet Corn," Kyoko said as she placed a hand on his good cheek and then guided his face to look at her. "Please come back to me," she said as she kissed him again and found him shaking, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I—I'm ss-or-ry" he apologized before Amiko tried to smile softly to show understanding towards him. Kuon turned to Kyoko, "It we-went-t black aga-in" he said as she nodded and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"I know baby, I know," she gave a very protective look to the therapist.

There would be a reason she would be coming to all of the therapy appointments.


	28. Chapter 28 - Top Priority

**AN:** Thank you for reading my work. I just want to write right now that writing sex scenes makes me feel very uncomfortable but I had to change the rating due to violence and subject matter. One thing that can make me not want to work on a fic is people looking and asking for sex scenes so please do not do that. Otherwise, I would like to thank you for reading my work and hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Twenty – Eight: Top Priority**

 _Kuon shifted in the dark cell as he looked up at the space around him. Was it the pain that made it so that he couldn't sit for a long time without blacking out? Was it the fear or the anxiety or the panic? Or was it something else._

 _Those around him had told him that he would find out that they had successfully managed to crack open his mind and let loose all of the demons that he held buried inside. He had thought that the people who had said these things were capable of breaking his physical body, but not his mind. However, when he had blacked out and then woken up in a completely different place, he wasn't sure whether they had done anything._

" _It's time for your feeding," a man said before throwing a bucket at him and Kuon shivered._

 _He still felt the pain in his eye where they had blinded him and enjoyed doing so, he moved forward and stared into the bucket which was completely filled with fish eyes. He shivered and backed up before it all went black again._

Kuon blinked as he heard someone speaking who wasn't Kyoko. He had remembered trying to read something whilst sitting on their bed. Reading allowed him to maintain a hold on reality even though the only things that he wanted to read was pretty dry non-fiction history books.

He wanted something that wouldn't make him dream of a far off fantasy place.

"Kuon?" he heard the voice again and flinched. He didn't know why he had woken up standing up with a glass of water in front of him. He turned to the direction that the sound was coming from and stared at a very worried and very concerned Kuu Hizuri.

"D-Dad?" he gasped as he looked around. What had happened? Had he done something wrong?

"Good," Kuu sighed obviously glad that Kuon had responded to him, but then again why was he so happy about this and with such relief. Kuon held to himself as he shook. Why did he still get the feeling that people were looking for him and trying to find him and hurt him.

That was when his breath caught in his throat again.

His _father_ was here and he couldn't detect Kyoko there in their home. He was terrified that they had found her again and that they had taken her away from him. He didn't want them to take her away from him.

"Kyoko," Kuon started to panic, "Where's….where's Kyoko?" he looked around nervously.

"Kyoko is fine," Kuu tried to explain. "She and Julie took Kou to visit Maria to play. Boss's house is the safest place for them at the time being, we're all doing whatever we can to keep you safe but I know how much you want to see Kou. Kyoko told me to tell you that she'll tell Kou some good stories about you and how you want to be with him as a family, you don't remember any of this?"

Kuon shook his head wide eyed, "She didn't tell me any of this."

"Makes sense," Kuu nodded, "You weren't actually here, Ren Tsuruga was the one who she told," he said without judgment. Kuon shivered more over this.

"She should have told me!" he snapped at his father as Kuu took a slow inhale.

Kuu smiled weakly before looking at the snacks that Kyoko had left for him. Whereas he had been able to eat when he was talking with Ren just before Kuon woke up, he suddenly lost his appetite as he saw how his son was reacting to his words. Maybe he shouldn't try to relax around Kuon until he knew _he_ was relaxing.

"Kuon," Kuu said sadly, "Why don't you come sit down with me? How's the therapy going?" he asked as his concern for his son was clear on his face.

Kuon nodded and went to sit on the chair opposite Kuu. He looked away, "I sup-pose it's going alright," he said, "although the wo-woman that Boss pic-kkked out makes me a bit uncomfortable. I th-think I'd feel better with a m-m-man since I can get violent. I would feel horrib-bble if I attac-kkked her," he said as Kuu looked at him baffled.

"I thought that he said that he was giving you the details to a male therapist," Kuu commented before shaking his head. "I probably misheard it. There's just this incredible happiness that comes from knowing that both of your children are alive."

Kuon smiled extremely weakly as he heard that, he looked to his dad and felt his heart tighten. If this was his mother sitting there instead of his father he would feel terrible asking his next question. Julie was always a bit more emotionally fragile than Kuu and he thought that his dad would understand what he needed to do.

"C-can I….ppu-tt the cream and i-ice on?" he asked as he put a hand to the leather. This was mainly asking Kuu if it was alright for him to remove it. It would be the second time that his father had seen it and he hadn't been able to figure out what his father's emotions were the last time.

Kuu spoke highly about him including his appearance, he didn't want to show his own weakness in the fact that his eye had been slit and his face itself had been burned. Kuu must have also seen it on the uploaded video footage, maybe he had become used to what it looked like.

"Let me get the cream and the ice," Kuu said since Kyoko had left him written instructions if there were any health problems for Kuon. "You just sit and rest," he told his son as Kuon nodded and took off the mask. He didn't like taking it off, but Kyoko had accepted it and knowing his dad, he would have no problem accepting it as well.

Kuu looked back with a heavy heart as he saw the damage that Kuon felt that he _had_ to hide before going to get the ice pack out of the freezer and the creams for the burn and the cut.

"I'm sorry, Kuon," he said as he looked at the damage. Kuu had to wonder whether they did this because they wanted to take his dream away from him and therefore strike at his motivation to live, though fortunately Kuon's priorities were different from when he was a teenager. Thankfully all his son wanted was a happy life with his wife and son.

It might be a sad life moving forward for a little bit due to the fact that they most likely would never have a second child and even at this moment, Kuon couldn't act in his role as a father because he didn't have control over his entire self anymore.

However, Kuu had hope that soon this little family would be patched up and he was ready and more than willing to support his son in whatever new dream he had next.

He had heard his son played the piano _very_ well.

….

….

Kou's face showed all of his excitement as he ran towards his mother. He had seen her only once two days ago when Kuu had been keeping watch over Kuon. Therefore the little boy was beyond happy to see one of his parents. This made Julie rather sad, Kou needed to have _both_ of his parents, but she was happy to see Kyoko doing so well.

She felt angry at herself that she had treated Kyoko so coldly before when she felt that Kuon was dead _because_ of her. That was so selfish and she had forgotten about how much she adored this woman in front of her. However, her actions definitely left her feeling awkward in this situation.

"Mama!" he said as Kyoko opened her arms wide and brought the little Corn in for an embrace. "I misseded you!" he said as Kyoko gave him multiple kisses.

"I missed you too," she said as she looked at him and kissed his nose. "Sorry that you have to stay here for a little longer, but Daddy is trying his hardest to get better and then we'll be together again. Thank you so much for being my brave little prince," she said as she held his hands in hers.

Kou nodded and looked at the floor. "I being brave," he told her before laughing.

"Hey, my little prince," Kyoko grinned up at him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandpapa ate lots and lots" Kou explained to her and Kyoko nodded.

"He does tend to do that, doesn't he?" she said before ruffling Kou's yellow hair. "I'm sure that he's really really fun to play with." Kyoko quickly looked up at her mother in law, "Julie, thank you for taking such good care of him, please thank Father also."

"I will," Julie assured her before Kyoko felt a little tug at her sleeve. She looked back at Kou and saw the tears in his eyes.

"Daddy?" he asked as he looked around. Kyoko knew that for Kou, Kuon was his hero and someone he respected so much. That was one of the reasons why Kuon knew that either he or his son couldn't be in their home, he didn't want to lose that trust and respect and admiration that came from your kid idolizing you. He had tried his hardest to be a good dad, he didn't want to lose it.

"Daddy is working hard on getting better," Kyoko tried to remind Kou. "He is trying his very very best so we have to support him. I know for a fact that what Daddy is working on right now is coming to see you Kou so that the two of you can play together again. I think that he might want to color some animals with you soon."

"Oh anitamals!" Kou said as he went off to get a folder that Julie had made which had all the pictures Kou had drawn or painted to share with his Daddy. "I makeded" he nodded as Kyoko opened the folder to see all the creative pictures and the bright colors. She could already see Kuon's happiness if she could show him.

"Kou, these are amazing!" Kyoko said as she pulled her son in close to her body. "You're amazing!" she said as the little boy laughed loudly. "How did you get so creative. There are so many animals." Kyoko grinned as she looked through each of them with Kou proudly watching her.

He had had a lot of fun drawing animals for his Daddy, after all Daddy _loved_ animals.

"For Daddy" Kou said as Kyoko finished looking at all of them.

"Wow, really?" Kyoko asked as she closed the folder. "All of them are for Daddy?"

"Yea! Get better soon" Kou said as Julie watched the mother with her very adorable son.

"He worked really hard on trying to make something that would help his Daddy feel better," she told Kyoko who was trying to blink back the tears in her eyes with her arms wrapped around the folder just imagining how much better Kuon would feel to see that his son was doing alright. "I think your Daddy will really really like looking at all the pictures that you drew for him, I think he'll love seeing that you love animals just as much as he does."

"Really?" Kou asked excitedly as Kyoko closed her eyes so as not to let any tears slip down her cheeks.

"Absolutely, he'll love them, so is there anything that you want to do today, Kou?" she asked as he grinned.

"I want to play with mommy," he said honestly as Kyoko took a deep breath so not to let out a sob.

She really just wanted her family to come back together again.


	29. Chapter 29 - Bond Between Father and Son

**AN:** Not a lot of action in this chapter but I think I managed to expand on a few plot points. I really hope you enjoy 😊

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine – Bond Between Father and Son**

Kyoko was very excited to be returning home with a folder containing Kou's pictures of animals to show Kuon. She knew that Kuon was struggling, especially with the knowledge that he would sometimes become someone else but not have any idea what actions that other persona had done. Hopefully seeing all of Kou's creativity and talent would help him keep more stable or at least fight harder against the more violent characters.

Sometimes she was scared that he would hurt her, but he hadn't and she felt very guilty about that.

Even of all the stories that Kuon had told her about his past self, his more violent side, he had never attacked someone unprovoked and somehow that hadn't scared her. What scared her was that sometimes she would feel as if she was with her husband but her husband wouldn't be there. She didn't know if there would ever be a cure for that but she hoped one day he would be well enough so that he could obtain his goal and see their son.

Opening the door, she caught Kuon sleeping on the sofa with a blanket covering him. She smiled weakly and then looked around to see Kuu eating something he had made. She smiled to him as she walked over. "Thanks for looking after him," she told Kuu. "I probably should do more grocery shopping. I was hoping that he'd be eating more," she said sadly.

She had to try and forget her own pain and trauma to help her husband. She had to ignore her own fear because he had been through so much worse. His mind had been snapped and couldn't quite fit together again without any loose fragments creating these characters.

"He's never eaten a lot, as long as he's surviving I wouldn't let that be one of your main worries," Kuu told her. He looked at her and smiled weakly, "So, am I allowed to ask how it went for you? I know that Kou has been missing the two of you so much. If Kuon wasn't fighting with these characters of his I would suggest that he make a visit."

Kyoko exhaled deeply, the exhaustion reflecting in her voice. "I know, father," she nodded. "That would be one thing that Kuon really wants, but if he were to snap and frighten Kou then it would be bad for both of them. I just want him to be able to hold onto Kuon for a little longer."

"Do any of the characters cause _you_ pain?" Kuu asked and Kyoko looked away.

"When he turns into BJ it scares me the most, but I've learned how to calm him down when he reaches that point. Some of the time I can change him directly back into Kuon and other times it takes me to turn him back to Cain." Kyoko sighed thoughtfully and let her chin rest on her palm. "The thing that works most to my advantage is when he becomes any character Katsuki or later, I've been there before and I can become a character that fits with it. He seems to see what he _wants_ to see so as long as I'm acting like Mitsuki or Setsu, he calms down enough to become Kuon after too long."

Kyoko closed her eyes, "but the problem is that Kou is too young to understand that Daddy has all these people in his mind that he can't control and as much as he wants to be Daddy, he's not. Then there's the depression to consider. Kuon could get surgery and we've consulted with the doctor and after a year or two, the burn could even be reduced to the point where it could be covered with makeup, but his eye is still going to have a scar on it. Doctors have suggested laser eye surgery, but they are scared to touch a mark like that."

"Still, that could be covered with makeup as well," Kuu suggested and Kyoko nodded.

"True, but once again, as much as Kuon loves to act he doesn't have the stability _to_ act. I'd really like for the two of us, really the three of us, to go away somewhere safe. Somewhere less noisy and less triggering. Ideally it would be the three of us, but maybe Kou could join us later when Kuon is at least a little stronger."

Kuu nodded in agreement, "and are you planning on having any future children?" he asked as Kyoko bowed her head. She felt the tears that she had been trying so badly to hold back slip down her cheeks and immediately, Kuu pulled her in for a hug.

"Father, I don't know if that's possible after what happened to me and with Kuon like this, I can't tell him that. I can't tell him that I was unfaithful to him. I can't cause him any more pain so please don't tell him that they took advantage of me like that," Kyoko begged as she felt the pain inside of her both physically and emotionally. "I mean, the doctors have told me that there _is_ a chance, but it's not very likely."

"I promise not to tell him," Kuu said as he rubbed her back and let his hand hold the back of her head to his chest. "I do have to ask something of you though and it does involve Kuon," Kuu said as he looked away nervously. Kyoko stared at him but nodded.

"Sure, anything that will help him," she said as she quickly tried to brush the tears aside.

"Could you ask boss about the therapist that he's seeing?" Kuu asked concerned as Kyoko blinked. She had her own dislike of Kuon's therapist just because the woman seemed to act like she wanted Kuon to forget about Kyoko and fall in love with her. It wasn't the first person for this to happen with by a long shot and Kuon wasn't falling for it. Kyoko didn't have to like it though and she always worried about Kuon leaving her.

"You don't like her either?" Kyoko asked softly.

Kuu sighed, "I heard from Boss that he was giving Kuon a male therapist. I was thinking that physically it would have made sense and especially since a male therapist would be able to defend himself from more violent episodes. I might sound paranoid and it might be that it has slipped his mind to tell us, but could you ask the president anyway?" he asked as Kyoko nodded.

"Yes, I can do that." She looked away, "With how Kuon obsessed this therapist is, I'd rather have someone who treats him like a regular person than is attracted to him anyway," she admitted before hearing a sound from the sofa. She hated that her first was to ask who it was waking up rather than just admit to herself that it was Kuon who was now awake.

"Hi, honey" Kyoko called out as she stood and made sure that the tears she had just shown weren't obvious to Kuon, she didn't want him to feel guilty about her being upset. She walked over to him, "How are you feeling?"

"I for-gggot to ppput my ma-sk back on," Kuon said nervously as he touched his face. Kyoko knelt before him and handed him the mask that he felt more comfortable wearing than not wearing.

"It's just your father and I who are here," Kyoko said. "Nobody is going to hurt you and it's alright with us that your face isn't covered. Remember how the doctor said that sometimes uncovered is good because its exposed to the air," she knelt in front of him before kissing him lovingly.

"Ho-How's Kou?" Kuon asked wanting to see his son but knowing that it was most likely for the best that he didn't. He wouldn't be able to live with the idea that he was hurting him.

"Kou is doing well, he misses you a lot because of how much he loves you," Kyoko told him before handing Kuon the folder of Kou's drawings. "He did all of these for you, he wanted to show you all of his art skills and he misses when you drew animals together."

Kuon shakily took the folder and looked through it, he smiled as he recognized the unique ways in which Kou drew each animal. He loved the creativity that his son had in how he pictured the world around him. It reminded him a lot of Kyoko and her own brand of magic and creativity. "They're wonderful," he said with a happy smile to Kyoko.

He let his finger run over the shape of an elephant and sighed. "Can you tell him thank you? I really wish that I could see him and tell him myself but you know that that's next to impossible," he said awkwardly and Kyoko sighed. She let her fingers stroke Kuon's cheek and kissed him again.

"Believe me, my sweet Corn," she said, "one day the two of you will be back together. You are both fighting so hard to be my strong, brave boys. I know that Kou will be excited when you've gathered the strength to see him. Maybe we should think about moving away, I think that once we're out of the city we both might heal some more. We both might able to see the world around us with less harsh colors," she tried to help Kuon keep his happiness.

"How about a video call?" Kuu asked. "It wouldn't have to last very long and it could give the two of you a chance to see one another."

Kyoko thought about that. She could imagine Kuon changing characters and scaring Kou even on a video chat, but she could also picture how happy the two of them would be to see one another, Kou especially. She looked back at her husband, her eyes showing all the concern that she had had build up inside of her when it came to him.

"Do you think you're ready for something like that?" she had to ask.

Kuon bowed his head and closed his eye, he nodded. "I'd really like that," he said as Kuu made a call to Julie so that they could set up their video chat.

….

….

Julie had her arms wrapped around Kou as the sat on a chair in the living room waiting for the video call to connect. She hadn't told Kou that he would be able to see his daddy on the other side because she hadn't wanted to get his hopes up if Kuon decided he wasn't ready.

When the picture came through and Julie could see Kyoko with an arm around Kuon's waist and Kuon looking into the camera, she heard the little boy squeal loudly. "It's Daddy!" he pointed. Kou waved excitedly. "Hi Daddy! Hi Mama!" he giggled loudly and Kyoko smiled to the little boy but she was happier hearing Kuon's laugh.

"Hey my little boy," Kuon smiled and Kyoko could even _feel_ his happiness throughout his body. "How are you? Daddy loves your pictures," he said as Kou smiled widely.

"Yay! Daddy saw anitamals?" he asked and Kuon nodded.

"Daddy thinks he recognized all of your animals, you're so creative Kou. You're such a good artist," he smiled as he looked down at the file. Kyoko looked at him. What was most surprising was the fact that even after all that he had gone through and the fact that he was nervous when talking with her, Kuon wasn't stuttering or having trouble with his words. It just showed how happy his son made him and how much he loved him.

Hopefully that meant that that love would take over the darkness, she just wished that he had more strength when he spoke with her.

"Tank oo" Kou laughed and Kuon laughed too.

"Daddy is going to try really hard so that we can be together," he said. "I love you so much Kou, thank you for being such a good boy," he said as Kou grinned before launching into a story about what he, Kyoko, and Julie had done that day.

As Kyoko looked at her husband more than her son she finally had the feeling that even after all that they had been through, their family would be okay.


	30. Chapter 30 - From the Past

**AN:** This chapter seemed to become shorter than I meant it to be. I've been doing a lot of 'talking head' scenes so I really hope you guys don't mind. Well I hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Thirty – From the Past**

Kyoko sat exhausted on the sofa in Lory's office. She didn't know what to say to the question that he had just asked her: How's Kuon?

She wanted to say that he was getting better, he was at least getting stronger and more confident to the untrained eye, but there was still so much more that he needed to learn how to deal with. In fact, Kyoko didn't know how to answer that question anymore.

Instead she kept her head bowed and measured her breaths remembering the previous night. During the night, Kuon had been yelling in his sleep which wasn't an odd occurrence these days, and so Kyoko had slid closer to him and wrapped her arms around him wanting to protect him. Then the words he had said cut into her like blades and she hadn't wanted to repeat them again. She didn't even want to think of those words as she sat in the president's office.

Kyoko just knew that if Kuon were to ever act on those words that she would be broken and she wasn't sure she would _ever_ be able to put herself back together again.

"I take it not well," Lory said as Kyoko looked down and nodded. "Do you think you two are ready to move away?" he asked, "I can plan it all out and Jelly is able to help as well. We can get the two of you new identities, new documents, everything and anything that you may need."

Kyoko shifted uncomfortably. She bowed her head and took another deep breath in before letting it out. Lifting her head she looked directly into the president's eyes. "Why did you assign Kuon his therapist?" she asked as Lory froze. It was obviously not a question that he had been expecting.

"The therapist that I gave you the details of is a very patient and experienced doctor. I know you'll keep this confidential so I will tell you this, a relative of mine went to see him after a tragedy occurred in their lives," Lory said as Kyoko took a deep breath in. He was obviously saying that Kouki went to see…wait…

"Boss, are you…alright?" Kyoko asked as she looked him over, "Kuon's therapist is a woman."

The anger that flowed over the president's face came on all too quickly and Kyoko felt herself a little scared about his reaction. They had been going to see that woman on multiple visits and that wasn't the face one usually had. "No wonder that man couldn't tell me anything more detailed about Kuon," he said enraged as Kyoko felt herself draw into herself to try to avoid the anger that the president was most definitely showing.

"What are you…" Kyoko asked concerned as Lory fumed and walked over to the window. "Are you telling me that Kuon's been talking to a woman who…"

"Tell me everything you know about the woman that he's been talking to and never go back there. I thought it was bad enough that Rick had come back to life, but this…" he said as Kyoko tensed. Had the president just said that…

Kyoko fell to her knees as she found her head stinging again. She could see flashes of him there, flashes of a person who looked like a zombie. She froze. What on earth was going on and why did she feel that she was going to vomit all over the floor?

"Kyoko," Lory said as he turned around rather concerned about the top actress. He came up to her. "I think it's better that the two of you leave Tokyo right now. I'll talk to Julie and Kuu myself about Kou."

Kyoko froze, she felt her entire body shake as she felt cold whips around her body. She wanted to concentrate on what the president was saying for Kuon's protection but she felt as if there were ice cold shards sliding down her body and embedding themselves underneath her skin. She tried to stay calm but with the new memories filling her mind she felt as if she could be swallowed up by fear.

She needed Kuon but Kuon couldn't take care of her anymore.

She couldn't tell him about this, especially with what he had said the previous night.

Lory was sitting down beside her at this point and he had gently transferred Kyoko over to his lap. Even curled up and shivering like a cute animal, he knew how strong she was. She still needed help. She still needed to cope with her own torture. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, he was in doubt that there would be any romance game that would help them now.

"Kuon…" Kyoko choked as she felt the tears in her eyes, she shook her head. She didn't want to tell anyone the words that had cut so deeply and so darkly into her soul. She didn't want to let anyone know that she was scared that her husband might die…by his own hand.

….

….

Kuu looked at his son, watching him to see if he needed anything which he might not tell them about. Kuon always liked his independence, but maybe that was because Kuu hadn't been there for him during his life especially during those teenage years. Was asking for anything uncomfortable for his son? Most likely.

He sighed, maybe if he had been a better father then none of this would have happened. His son would have never left the US.

"Dad," Kuon said as he sat down opposite Kuu, giving him a large bowl of cooked rice with vegetables, it was at this point that Kuu noticed the new burn over Kuon's wrist. Had that happened when he wasn't paying attention? Damn it. He had only been paying attention to which character his son was, he hadn't been paying attention to see if he was going to hurt himself.

He didn't know whether to comment on it or not.

"Yes, Kuon," Kuu said though his eyes didn't stray from the burnt wrist. Was this something to do with acting or was it from the memories? Was it better that he and Kyoko go as far away from this place as possible.

"Is there anything that I…" Kuon looked down.

Kuu watched his son, trying to pick up any clues from his body language and posture that might be able to give him help in understanding this behavior. Since all of these new characters had started to gain control over Kuon's body, it had become crucial to pick up on which gestures and mannerisms were 'Kuon' and which were 'not Kuon'. Despite knowing that it was his son this time, Kuu had to figure out what he was feeling.

"That you?" Kuu tried to softly prompt.

He knew he shouldn't have been surprised when Kuon lifted his head and looked at him, a weak expression on his face. "Why am I alive?"

Okay, that was harder to answer.

"You mean…" Kuu struggled to find the right question to respond with, "Why did they let you live?" He sighed and when Kuon didn't respond, Kuu tried to believe that he was right in the assumption that this was the question that Kuon was asking. "Well, I think that it's sometimes much harder to live with the pain and torment of the past than to end a chapter of your life. What they did is try to take away your hope but they underestimated all of the people who love you. Kuon, I don't care how many people you share that body with, Julie and I love you unconditionally."

Kuon shook his head, "N-not them," he commented.

Kuu sighed and leaned back in his seat. He took his son's hand, forgetting the food in front of him for a moment. He looked up trying to find the best words for this. "Kuon, if you are asking why you're not dead then I'd like to remind you that you have a wife who thinks the world of you. She is always talking about how amazing you are and how loved you make her feel. I know that right now it's really tough on you, but imagine how much harder it would be on Kyoko if you weren't here. Then there is Kou. I know it's hard to imagine being with him and it must feel like torture, but I have hope that one day the three of you will be a family again and I don't want you to miss out on that."

Kuon bowed his head and nodded. He felt sick all the time these days and he didn't think that he should be outside of a hospital and yet inside of a hospital would make him feel worse. He spent so many months trying to be Kyoko's strength whilst the hospital poisoned her. Returning there might possibly mean that he would be poisoned too.

"I wa-want to fight th-them," Kuon said as Kuu looked at him.

He didn't want to ask too many questions about what had gone on when Kuon was tortured, it didn't feel as if he had any right to ask how that felt or what secrets were hidden. However, Kuu _did_ want to know, he _did_ want to find out why he had that gnawing feeling at the back of his mind that Rick was alive. He did want to ask what the descriptions of these people who had taken him were.

There was a chance that Kuon wouldn't answer these questions and there was a strong chance of one of his other personalities coming out as well.

If only there wasn't all of this pain in the world then maybe his son would get a good shot at not being hurt in the future. That didn't seem like it was going to happen though.

All Kuu could do was remind himself that he was Kuon's father and try his best to keep his son balanced and happy.

….

….

In a Tokyo hospital there sat a half dead man. This was a man who had said to have been killed several years ago, but now was sitting in a hospital room physically alive but with the mind of someone who had endured a lot of brainwashing, a lot of their own torture.

Once upon a time, this man had been the best friend of a young Kuon Hizuri. This man was said to have died _because_ of that Kuon Hizuri. What people didn't know was the conspiracy that followed after his death and the fact that inside of that coffin there had been no dead body.

It was as if the man couldn't operate by himself. His brain seemed to be locked up or at least it had been locked up until this night, the night of his escape. The night when he tried to hunt down the older Kuon Hizuri.

"So," a doctor said as she approached him, "Your name is Rick, isn't it?" she asked.

The man looked up at her and smiled coldly.


	31. Chapter 31 - In the Depths of the Ocean

**AN:** Please enjoy, here there is more story progression

 **Chapter Thirty One – In The Depths of the Ocean**

Kyoko was surprised when she woke up naturally the next morning. She didn't want to admit to it, but usually she would be woken up by the sound of Kuon screaming for help or that they wouldn't get to him. She would always try and calm him down and remind him that he was safe and she loved him. It wasn't until Kyoko reached across for her husband that she realized something was wrong.

Kuon wasn't there.

Kyoko took deep breaths in to control the fear that was likely to cause her to collapse. She rose to her feet and then looked around. It wasn't impossible that Kuon had just gotten out of bed without waking her, maybe one of his multiples did that as well. She switched on the light and her heart clenched painfully as she saw an envelope on her husband's pillow and on top of it was his wedding ring.

"Kuon…" she whispered as she painfully took ahold of the ring.

"Wake up Kyoko," she told herself trying to blink for long periods of time as if doing so would make it so Kuon would come back. "Wake up. You're still asleep and Kuon is right next to you. You are having a nightmare."

Nervously Kyoko reached out for the letter and her eyes clouded with tears.

 _To my princess Kyoko,_

 _I know you're angry at me, I know you hate me for doing this to you and Kou but in time I hope that you'll be able to both forgive me and realize that I did what I had to to keep my family safe. I don't belong in this world anymore, but the short time in which I did belong it was because of you and because of you encouraging me in my friendships and with my family. You are so much more important to me than you could ever know which is why it now hurts for me that I have to say goodbye to you. When I look in the mirror all I can see is a freak, a beast, a burden on society. I don't want to drive my son from his home. I don't want my wife to be scared every moment of the day. I want you two to heal together and I am so sorry that I wasn't there to share your futures with. I wish you every happiness in the world and hope that one day you'll forgive me._

 _Love, Kuon._

Kyoko looked away to where there was a notebook sitting out which had a note pinned to it of messages of goodbye to her and Kou. Kyoko felt her breath catch in her throat as if suffocating her. She quickly took deep breaths and reached for her phone.

The first number she tried was his, when she heard it in the next room her heart paused. He hadn't taken it with him. Of course, he hadn't, you can't take an Uber from the gates of Hell, could you?

Kyoko didn't hesitate in calling up anyone who might have seen him or had any knowledge of his whereabouts. She just didn't want to not be able to find him. She needed to…

As her phone rang, Kyoko quickly picked it up.

"Hello, this is Hizuri Kyoko speaking," she said desperately whilst hoping it was Kuon. She would drive to wherever he was and they could talk about this. She had even had tickets booked to go away today, it didn't seem that the place she had planned for was as far away as he wanted to be.

"Hizuri-san, I'm calling from Tokyo Medical….."

….

….

No! No no no no no!

Kyoko had gotten to the hospital so fast that she couldn't even remember how she got there. Her legs felt like they were made of rubber but she had to keep running. If only she hadn't been so stupid before with the pills that had made her sick and led Kuon into this trap. Now she might have to…

"Hizuri Kuon! I need his room number now!" Kyoko said not giving a damn that people were listening to her as she looked at the woman at the front desk. She didn't care that she was wearing sweats and had only briefly ran a comb through her hair whilst running here. She didn't care that she had accidentally put on two different colored shoes.

Kuon was here and she had to be by his side.

"I think he just came out of the ICU," the receptionist said and Kyoko looked around. Seeing the sign which pointed to the ICU she tried to run that way but was yelled at several times not to run. She had to walk fast though, she couldn't just allow Kuon to give up.

She froze as she saw a stretcher with his body on it.

He looked dead.

Kyoko felt the tears fill her eyes as she ran and took a look at her husband, her poor husband who now had his face exposed to all of these doctors. She wanted to make sure what room he was being taken to and then she would get his mask for him. It wasn't for her, she didn't care how he looked because in his heart he was everyone he ever was or would be, in his heart were the three most important men to her, Ren, Corn, and Kuon. Inside was her husband. Still, if he did make it through this, that mask would bring _him_ comfort.

She gripped onto his hand only to find it very limp. She looked up at the doctor.

"What happened?" Kyoko asked trying not to show how much this situation had crushed her. Her husband was pale and numb and he wasn't moving and someone had said something about drowning or nearly drowning and an overdose or…something. She couldn't breathe.

"Please don't leave me," Kyoko begged as she found the tears to run down her face unchecked. "I'll do better. I promise. I'll try harder and do better, I must have done something wrong Kuon…please" she said as she tried to reach out for his other hand.

She felt the inside of her screaming and clawing to be let out.

She had helped them by not being good enough, by not being a good enough wife and mother and she was scared. She felt so empty and pathetic and…he had to get better.

"So," the doctor said as Kyoko managed to hear them over the pounding of her own heart. "There were no drugs other than alcohol in his system?"

"Not that the tests found out," the younger doctor explained.

"It's very lucky that those teenagers found him when they did, we could have lost a great ac-"

"You could have lost my husband," Kyoko said quickly as she placed a hand on Kuon's forehead. "I don't care how great an actor you think he is, first and foremost he is Kuon Hizuri. He is _my_ Kuon so don't talk about how he's different because he's an actor."

The doctors stared at her before the head one nodded, "My apologies Hizuri-san," he said to Kyoko as she nodded and watched as they hooked Kuon up in a private room. Kyoko instantly sat at his side as she seemed to retreat in on herself. The only thing she wanted to do at this moment was make sure that the man she loves was alive.

"Kuon," she sniffed as she held to the wedding ring that he had left. "I can't lose you."

….

….

Kyoko didn't know whether she should trust the doctors or not, but she had to speak to somebody. She had advised them that if Kuon did wake up there was a chance of him being violent especially if they removed his mask from him again. She was very thankful when Kuu had said that he would go down and stay by Kuon's side. She was just feeling incredibly guilty and incredibly empty and she had to curl up somewhere she could be alone.

Or…she thought she could.

As Kyoko sat very quietly in a corner of one of the LME training rooms she heard a voice behind her.

"Why are you so unhappy?" Kanae asked as she expected to hear Kyoko yell out her nickname and start trying to fly towards her. Kanae had felt that she actually _had_ seen Kyoko fly before. "Hey, earth to Kyoko," she said as Kyoko looked up with a rather sad smile.

"Can I just say Kyoko's not here right now," Kyoko tried to hide her tears as Kanae approached her.

"Okay, now I know that something is wrong with you. Spill," Kanae said with a hand on her hip as she looked at this woman who – although now in a more appropriate outfit – was looking as if she would vanish away as if a ghost.

"Moko," Kyoko closed her eyes and shook her head, "I can't. I'm sorry, it's Kuon, I can't."

"You do know that you've been using him for a lot of excuses," Kanae hummed, "Mo, it doesn't matter. I mean, that guy goes through hell and back and comes back to you, surely he's going to be something some post traumatic stress disorder or something."

Kyoko felt the tears fill her eyes again, "I can't help him Moko," she sobbed sadly as she tried to catch her tears on the back of her arm. "I can't help him and it's killing me inside that that is true. You don't know how much he means to me,"

Kanae came and sat next to her friend, she sighed and shook her head, "I don't. I also don't think any person should go through what he's been put through. However, I know he's strong. I always have trouble saying that he's stronger and more talented than I am. I do admire him and I think you two are good together," she blushed. She had always treated Kuon as if he were some fly but now she was saying her true thoughts. She must really be getting warm hearted after all of these years.

"He tried to drown himself, Moko" Kyoko said as she looked in front of her as Kanae's expression turned horrified. "He left me a suicide note or suicide notebook or something along with his wedding ring and he snuck out of the house. Apparently, he managed to get himself to the point where he was drunk and then decided to drown himself. I…I've been trying so hard to protect him from the past and from others but if he's going to attack himself now," Kyoko let the tears fall down again before hearing a woman laugh.

Her head hurt so badly from that laugh, it was as if she were seeing a movie but instead it was a flashback and she looked up into the face of Raven. She instantly moved her body in front of Kanae's protectively.

"Don't touch her!" she yelled with her eyes closed, "You already got what you wanted from him! You already broke him in a way that's worse than if you killed him…what now," she said as Raven smiled and saw the horror on Kyoko's face.

"This'll be fun," she laughed.

 **AN:**

Thank you to everyone who favorites, follows, and reads this story and a special thank you to **paulagato** who reviewed the last chapter 😊


	32. Chapter 32 - Control of the Voice

**AN:** Thank you guys for reading this and sorry for not updating it before this. I think I'm able to balance out my school work well and for right now the heat isn't that bad. Hope you enjoy.

 **Chapter Thirty Two – Control of the Voice**

Why did these women always find it so important to knock someone out and then transport them to a place where they didn't know where they were. Okay, so that was mostly Hostage Taking 101, but Kyoko was getting annoyed by it. Was this the start of another period of long months where she would be tortured as well as taken away from her husband's side. Had she really gotten herself into a position for this?

She struggled again before hearing the door open and looked up into the eyes of a man she had only really seen from old photographs that Kuon had had. If she wasn't mistaken, this was _the_ ghost, this was Rick. Although, he didn't look to be all there.

He sat down opposite Kyoko in a threatening manner and laughed as he looked aside, looking completely dead inside those eyes of his. A death that reminded her of how Kuon had been on that camera.

" **You said you wanted a toy baby, I brought you one. Just please don't make too much mess."** Tina said as she came over to the broken shell of a man and hugged him. She left on the table in the small padded room they were in, a gun, a knife, and a taser. She shut the door and Kyoko looked down, her hands were tied to the table.

"You're Rick aren't you?" Kyoko asked as she noticed that he hadn't touched any of the items yet. Was he really going to shoot her? "You're the Rick that Kuon…"

"Kuon didn't do anything," Rick whispered as he looked down. He looked like a shell. It was as if he was a zombie, someone who didn't show life outside but had some altered form of it inside. "Sorry, I haven't spoken much for years. **English is better.** " He tried to tell her and Kyoko saw that there was a wire coil around his neck.

What on earth had happened here? She reached out to touch it but he just flinched away.

" **We can speak English. Kuon always told me that you had died,"** Kyoko said. Maybe there was a way of reasoning with this man in front of her so that the two of them could both get out of this room alive. There had to be something that would prevent him from hurting her. Maybe if she changed the topic of the conversation away from her husband.

" **I don't want to hurt you. I want to be hurt."** Rick told her as Kyoko froze.

She smiled and looked down at where she was tied up, " **You think you could untie me then?"** she asked as he shook his head.

" **Sorry about that** " he whispered almost crying as he grabbed to the knife and cut the ties that bound her. He shivered, his entire body shaking and Kyoko reached out to touch his wrist. She hadn't seen someone more broken than her husband before but this was the first proof, the first evidence. Somehow as Kyoko spoke to him, she could see her husband in the same movements and expressions.

" **You were in the videos but it wasn't your voice. You didn't…** " Kyoko said as Rick shook his head. His breath caught in his chest slightly.

" **I wanted to protect Kuon. I have always wanted to help him."**

Kyoko noticed the dark depression on his face and she wondered what had made him this way. What had led for him to get this way and now for Kuon to suffer with it. Kyoko could figure out that the only way Rick had had of helping Kuon was to prevent him from being injured too badly. Rick didn't seem to have the energy or ability to fight against them.

" **Could you tell me what happened to you…after the accident?"** Kyoko asked very nervously as Rick seemed to sink into himself again but he nodded.

" **I was caught by a street gang. Somehow they had taken my body and brought me to their base. I was kept alive to be their toy, by the time I was let out both my parents and Kuon had moved away. I didn't want pity, I just didn't want…to be…"**

Kyoko nodded. She could understand what that would have been like, for someone not to be waiting on the other end. What about Tina though and this girl Raven? Wouldn't they have let their hatred for Kuon be put to rest when they found out that it was a gang responsible for Rick's disappearance and not that Kuon had killed him.

" **I tried to reinvent myself into someone new. I wanted to disappear into the shadows, that's when Tina found me but I no longer loved her like I once had. I didn't want to love anyone and that made her snap. I didn't know how different I had become, how weak and scared, how traumatized the battle had made me but I did know that the hate in her heart and the revenge she wanted was enough so I couldn't love her anymore. She didn't like the sound of that."**

Kyoko waited, she looked down as she thought about her own want for revenge against Shotaro and all of the pain that had been inside of her heart. Still, during that time Ren Tsuruga had made her see the light and had helped her get her feet on solid ground again. She closed her eyes, she wanted to get revenge on the people who did this to Kuon but her main want wasn't the revenge it was to make sure that Kuon was alright, that he survived.

How much had she actually changed from that sixteen year old girl who only looked blindly towards the future.

" **She took me as her own. Felt that with the right conditioning, I'd love her again whilst her hatred towards my best friend increased. I knew that if Kuon had known I was alive, he would have come and accepted me. When I told Tina that I wanted to leave so that I could talk to Kuon and get his help, she tried to turn me against him so that I would only think of her. She made me a machine. I was to hate Kuon and love her. They were the most messed up years of my life."**

" **Kuon…or Ren at the time, he wouldn't have thrown you away no matter what** ," Kyoko attempted to encourage Rick. She reached out and held his hand in a way that she would do so with Kuon. She let her thumb run over the back of his hand. **"Revenge might seem fun, but it's never the best option that's out there.** "

Rick nodded. " **I wish I could get these two locked up but Tina is able to unleash my other self."** Rick put his hand in his pants and when he lifted it out, there was a tiny notebook and USB drive. " **Please get these to the police. I'll make a distraction and you escape,"** he tried to tell her but Kyoko shook her head.

" **Where's the fun in not going together, plus I'm sure Kuon will be happy to see you,"** she told the man before they both tried to figure out the best way to get to the hospital room. Perhaps physical violence was their best option at this point.

…..

…..

Kuu watched over his son as he saw the breaths get stronger, he didn't know what to say about what his son had been through. Of course there was the obvious sympathy that he felt for him, but Kuu wondered whether his son would ever be able to return to normal life. He would never want to admit that feeling in front of Kuon though. He had been hurt and what was most important was the battle to be able to breathe and live again.

It was a battle that Kuon had fought hard but he'd have to fight even harder.

Maybe this was Kuu's problem, maybe if he'd been a bit better as a father or if he had restricted his son when he was a kid. Kuu's attention was broken when he saw a man standing at the doorway. He smiled weakly, "Hi," he said as he held out a hand in an American greeting since he didn't feel that he had the energy to stand and step away from his son. "It's Yukihito-san, right?" he asked.

Yashiro nodded as he looked towards a chair. "Is it alright that I came?" he asked and Kuu nodded.

The manager sighed and looked down at the broken man in the bed, "I wanted to see him. I've been trying to stay away so he gets some time to heal in a better environment, but I don't think that he realizes what his friendship has always meant to me. I wanted to make sure that he was okay."

"You care about my son as a friend more than a manager at this point, right?" Kuu commented as Yashiro laughed.

"Not that I'm bad at my job but yes. Kuon is my friend, a very good one to be completely honest. I…uh…I wanted to see if he was awake and perhaps make a proposition to him." Yashiro looked to where Kuon was still unconscious in the bed, "Maybe I should have waited just a little bit longer," he sighed.

Kuu paused and took a deep breath in, "I don't think he's going to be waking up any time soon but you could tell me, if it involves my son, I can promise you that I'm always interested."

Yashiro thumbed through some papers. "First of all, I've managed to locate some doctors who can help with the burn, there is a chance that we can fix his eye with some laser surgery but I'm still researching those. As for his dreams, I know he has to get back on his feet and at least be stable when it comes to the personality he has, but I have found some interesting work on the seiyuu industry. Everyone loves his voice and he can always market with his name."

"Great ideas," Kuu nodded, "I've always felt that I could go into voice acting. I don't see why Kuon would be opposed to it, especially since it'll bring him work as an actor."

Yashiro nodded, "I could easily have him train with some of the best of the business but I want to make sure that all of his characters are contained. I've been attempting to stop those jerks in the media from publishing some obvious nonsense about how he will never be sane and he isn't anything other than dangerous."

Kuu nodded as he looked back at his son, "I think he'd like to think that there's still a way to get a hold of his dreams," he commented. "I think I have you to thank for giving him his most precious part of his life, Kyoko and Kou."

"I just attempted to be a matchmaker," Yashiro laughed weakly

"Well," Kuu smiled, "Whatever you were trying to be, you were a good one."

 **AN 2:** Thank you of course to everyone who supports this story and also those who have favorited it and followed it, it really does mean a lot to me. I also want to thank **paulagato** for their review of the previous chapter


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